The New Dark Ages
I can see it now; I'll be one of those hairy guys standing on a box or a crate in some big city. I'll shake a can and ranting, desperately hoping someone will hear me. Flash-forward a few years, maybe my big gnarly beard has grayed over time. I'll be tied to a stake somewhere about to be set aflame as some sort of clergy man reads a passage from the NewEST Testament of President Bush's Holy Bible.
I like imagery, sue me.
Anyway where was I going with this? Oh that's right. Everyone around me is extremely religious in one way or another, except for me. It's odd, it's starting to freak me out, and it may get me into some trouble down the line.
Back in T-town the vast majority of my friends were agnostic. Here I live with mostly Orthodox Jews and a few hyper evangelical (the result of being marooned?) Christians.
A couple days ago I realized that one of my new suitemates, Andy was the president of some organization for open minded agnostics on campus (though I'm fairly certain he's an atheist). About the same time I discovered this, I found out that a guest speaker would be visiting our campus to provide evidence in support of the intelligent design theory. As expected, the majority of the students going to see this guest speaker were devout Christians. I was curious about what the guy had to say but the idea of being surrounded by so many automatons frightened me. Some Christians claim to be open minded, but let's face it; there are two types of Christians that attended this event.
A) The Christians who will believe everything "Jimmy Jesuslover" has to say without any doubt whatsoever.
And
B) The Christians who are thinkers, they will listen to what "Christopher Christlover" has to say; then judge for themselves whether or not the speaker's words have any value. BUT, in the end their belief is always the same. Christianity is 100% true. It doesn't matter whether or not they believe the speaker is a genius prophet or some dipshit full of crap. The end result is always the same.
It's like washing your hands with liquid soap one day, and then using a bar the next. If your hands get equally clean with both methods; and they both take the same amount of time? Why bother investigating new ways to cleanse yourself if you know things will turn out exactly the same? It's not as if your going to discover a better, cleaner, faster way to do it (like say hand sanitizer?). You're just fucking around. Maybe these Christians actually believe they have the capability to change their minds. Maybe they don't realize how deep into their faith they've gone and every time they arrive back at the same conclusion it's just a reoccurring surprise for them? Like, oh no shit? I still believe the same stuff after that insightful lecture? Who'da thunk it.
Back to my story: I was eating dinner with my friend Isa, from Nigeria. He asked me what my plans were from the evening and I told him I was going to see the proponent of Intelligent Design speak at the auditorium. Isa perked up the way all Christians do when they think they've discovered a fellow crusader or possible recruit. I gulped (was it mental or physical? Can't recall but it was definitely a gulp). You see what I didn't tell my African friend was that I had planned to go with Andy's group. Now that Isa realized I was interested he proposed that I go with his campus crusaders to hear the man speak. I agreed. It would have been rude not to, He was my friend and I had not yet informed my neighbor Andy of my intention to go with him. First come first serve right? Wrong. Now I was locked in, I could slip out of all Christian student meetings from now on if I chose but that would make me seem like a flake. Nobody wants to be friend with a fake or a dishonest asshole. So this was it. The beginning of my new Sunday evening activity from now until the end of the semester. I've always believed that people should stick to their guns; I've also always believed that secular humanism is the best way to go. However if I were to back out of this little Christian group that I graciously accepted the opportunity to join it would seem as if I was doing anything but sticking to my guns. I'd seem like a lazy piece of shit. I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way either.
So I went to hear the speaker. He said a bunch of bullshit that I didn't agree with. He also invited the audience to ask questions or make comments. At first, no one did. I too fell victim to the Spiral of Silence. How could I stir up commotion and risk turning new friends into new enemies. After some prodding a guy in the back spoke up to say things in support of the speaker. A little while later, a few people made some vague supportive comments or just rephrased what the first guy said. No one challenged the speaker. Why should they? Everyone agreed; and even if they hadn't he was an authority figure and most people are not comforting challenging authority, especially if they know they have no back up. I'm no exception, most of the time either. It was just scary because during Nobel Week tons of people raised their hands to ask the visiting professor/scientist questions. A lot of them were dumb questions. Okay most. But people weren't afraid to ask them. Unlike Christianity, science promotes free thinking and the exchange of ideas. This is a good thing. Don't believe me? Then ask yourself why churches continually need to branch off and mutate into new forms of religions (Episcopalian, Baptist, Mormon, catholic, Raylien, etc.) lol it's because Christianity (and most other religions) are throwback to simpler times and simpler people (don't start feeling nostalgic this is a bad thing!) It's a vestigial social construct.
Here's some of the stuff The Speaker said:
If God didn't create the universe the Bible has no value.
1. My response: Balderdash! It doesn't matter if God exist or not. The Bible is an important part of humanity's history. People lived and died over what were written in it's pages. It has had a tremendous effect on worldwide culture and from a humanist perspective have many great values and life lessons for one to learn regardless of whether or not it is the word of god or bunch of clever authors who lived thousands of years ago.
2. If there is no God and God didn't create the universe that basically makes man God.
No it doesn't. Human did not create the universe. Ergo humans, no matter how advanced our technology gets will never become "Gods". Everybody knows this and unless there is some bizarre StarGate-esque conspiracy I am unaware of this is fact.
3. The "Timepiece Analogy" is wrong.
For those who don't know The Speaker was referring to an analogy proposed by some English guy (I think) basically it's this. God is like a watch manufacturer. He created the universe (the watch) the works by following certain scientific law, which we may discover (the watch has gears inside that interact to make the watch work) and because we can see the watch, and see that the watch is functioning, AND that it is complex we know that someone intelligent was responsible for engineering it's existence. Now you may be asking yourself, how does this conflict with the conservative Christian view? It conflicts because the analogy begins by stating you discover the watch left alone in a field. This suggests that after the watch was created it was abandoned and now God simply watches it tick. Most Christians hate this theory because it would mean is god no longer involved in their lives and all the praying and church attendance won't do jack shit because God has taken the day off. If I personally had to decide I would go with my own theory: I think that maybe God does leave the watch alone. He only messes with every now and then; say to adjust for daylight savings time. It doesn't seem like a long time for him but for us it's millennia because our perception of time is different. I won't commit to that belief but I think it's the best one if you must believe in a god. For example maybe the last time God set his watch back an hour he brought us Jesus. All time sense his death has been lassiez faire. The Bible says this is not the case but then I have never considered The Bible to be entirely factual. I don't think most people would agree with me. No surprise. Why should Christians believe The Timepiece Model, or My Occasion Interference (The Sims, Bender from That Episode of Futurama, Sim City, and Ant Farm-Fish Tank) Model? It's not very fun. It's more fun to believe some benevolent higher power plays a role in your life shaping your existence at every twist and turn. It's easier to entice people if they think they have the opportunity to change their lives with a little help from Bruce Almighty.
4. Faith and Knowledge operate on different levels. You should go with Faith.
Faith sucks. I've never understood it's attraction. Let’s do something unorthodox and think about faith. Faith is the glue of many world religions. But what the hell IS it? Faith is the ability to confidently believe in something despite a lack of evidence in something or existing evidence to the contrary. The Speaker said that while it is good to think with our heads, we should think with our hearts when it is appropriate. Um, okay; but do you honestly think the creation of the universe is something we should "know with our hearts" instead of at least attempt to know with our heads first? I'm mean lets face it, the heart is stupid. It does two things well, lets blood in, and pushes blood out. Or if your heart is like mine generates some pretty trippy rave beats. This morning I missed the bus to my Psych class; so I decided to drive to class. I go to college. Yeah, I'll wait for you to stop laughing. As anyone who has driven on college campuses will tell you this is a futile act. All of the parking spots were taken. Every last one. Also, when I got back to where I had left from my original spot had been taken too. Why didn't I just wait for the next bus? A guy in the lobby told me that he thought 'maybe the buses were running late' I didn't know this guy. I wasn't sure where he got his info from. But I had faith. Oh what a wonderful gift that was. As I circled the lot waiting for someone to back out I saw three buses pass by me. I knew parking was difficult at 10am. I had no good reason to assume the guy was right. But my faith in this stranger, or my lack of faith in the university bus system screwed me over. I realize having faith in a mode of transportation seems to have little to do with having faith in God. However, you must of at one time had a similar experience in your life . . . . . at that time didn't you think "Damn if only I had followed my head and not my gut!" In most cases when you act on faith you fuck up. In real life if Indiana Jones had tried to cross that chasm in The Last Crusade on faith alone he would have fallen to his death. I'm not saying there aren't times when faith isn't a better way to go but most of the time, it is.
Despite this people still rant and rave "Oh you've just GOTTA have faith!" "Faith, that's what religion is all about!" Fuck faith. We don't really need it. Well, not blind faith anyway, which is what religion is.
Hey we've all had a time in our lives when we thought God intervened to change our fate. Doesn't mean that was the case. God may exist and god may be benevolent but I'm sure he has better things to do, like building another parallel universe where everything and everyone is made of ice cream.
Maybe it's just me but I can't help but feel that over the years increasing numbers of people have come to rely on faith instead of practical knowledge. The effects of such could be absolutely disastrous. Christians love fire and brimstone. Imagine if Firefighters just had faith a fire would put itself out? What if the CDC just had faith God would protect al those worthy of salvation so quarantines and disease research were not necessary. Maybe I'm going too far, faith does not necessarily equate laziness but it still has dangerous side effects.
The speaker also said if there is no god than all that life is about is one time pleasures.
Yeah? So what. I realize no one wants to cease to exist but if you spend your whole life preparing for an afterlife that probably isn't there you've really screwed the pooch. Look, no one buys a ticket to a movie, sits down in the theater and then expects to be incessantly entertained. All good things come to and end. Sad, but true. Make the most of the time you had and spend it doing stuff you love with the people you love. If you want an ultimate purpose in life try to treat others as you would like to be treated and try to leave the world better than you found it. Then at least once you're worm food other will get to have fun too, maybe more than you did. It's just like cleaning up after a party. No god does not = no responsibility. If you need to believe in a God to convince you to be a good citizen and contribute positively to society then you're immature and need to grow up. Heavenly Father. I can't imagine a more perfect title. A heavenly father for people who never grew up and still need an authoritative father to make sure they don't make a mess of things.
A little faith can be just what people need sometimes to lift their spirits, but it shouldn't be your life crutch. God gave you a brain. Use it more. Too much faith could lead us back to the Stone Age. Faith is just a big bad gamble. Oh, and in case you have noticed, gambling is a risky addiction.
Says so in the Bible. I think. . .
Jake: Wow, God just saved my ass!
Me: How?
Jake: I needed this book for an English class and I got the last one from the book store!
Odessa: So how has your day been?
Me: Not so great actually. . .
Odessa: Aw, how come?
Me: Well, OH LOOK A PENNY!
Odessa: :) that's good luck.
Me: God must want me to be happy!
Maybe we can't help but believe in god. . .
I like imagery, sue me.
Anyway where was I going with this? Oh that's right. Everyone around me is extremely religious in one way or another, except for me. It's odd, it's starting to freak me out, and it may get me into some trouble down the line.
Back in T-town the vast majority of my friends were agnostic. Here I live with mostly Orthodox Jews and a few hyper evangelical (the result of being marooned?) Christians.
A couple days ago I realized that one of my new suitemates, Andy was the president of some organization for open minded agnostics on campus (though I'm fairly certain he's an atheist). About the same time I discovered this, I found out that a guest speaker would be visiting our campus to provide evidence in support of the intelligent design theory. As expected, the majority of the students going to see this guest speaker were devout Christians. I was curious about what the guy had to say but the idea of being surrounded by so many automatons frightened me. Some Christians claim to be open minded, but let's face it; there are two types of Christians that attended this event.
A) The Christians who will believe everything "Jimmy Jesuslover" has to say without any doubt whatsoever.
And
B) The Christians who are thinkers, they will listen to what "Christopher Christlover" has to say; then judge for themselves whether or not the speaker's words have any value. BUT, in the end their belief is always the same. Christianity is 100% true. It doesn't matter whether or not they believe the speaker is a genius prophet or some dipshit full of crap. The end result is always the same.
It's like washing your hands with liquid soap one day, and then using a bar the next. If your hands get equally clean with both methods; and they both take the same amount of time? Why bother investigating new ways to cleanse yourself if you know things will turn out exactly the same? It's not as if your going to discover a better, cleaner, faster way to do it (like say hand sanitizer?). You're just fucking around. Maybe these Christians actually believe they have the capability to change their minds. Maybe they don't realize how deep into their faith they've gone and every time they arrive back at the same conclusion it's just a reoccurring surprise for them? Like, oh no shit? I still believe the same stuff after that insightful lecture? Who'da thunk it.
Back to my story: I was eating dinner with my friend Isa, from Nigeria. He asked me what my plans were from the evening and I told him I was going to see the proponent of Intelligent Design speak at the auditorium. Isa perked up the way all Christians do when they think they've discovered a fellow crusader or possible recruit. I gulped (was it mental or physical? Can't recall but it was definitely a gulp). You see what I didn't tell my African friend was that I had planned to go with Andy's group. Now that Isa realized I was interested he proposed that I go with his campus crusaders to hear the man speak. I agreed. It would have been rude not to, He was my friend and I had not yet informed my neighbor Andy of my intention to go with him. First come first serve right? Wrong. Now I was locked in, I could slip out of all Christian student meetings from now on if I chose but that would make me seem like a flake. Nobody wants to be friend with a fake or a dishonest asshole. So this was it. The beginning of my new Sunday evening activity from now until the end of the semester. I've always believed that people should stick to their guns; I've also always believed that secular humanism is the best way to go. However if I were to back out of this little Christian group that I graciously accepted the opportunity to join it would seem as if I was doing anything but sticking to my guns. I'd seem like a lazy piece of shit. I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way either.
So I went to hear the speaker. He said a bunch of bullshit that I didn't agree with. He also invited the audience to ask questions or make comments. At first, no one did. I too fell victim to the Spiral of Silence. How could I stir up commotion and risk turning new friends into new enemies. After some prodding a guy in the back spoke up to say things in support of the speaker. A little while later, a few people made some vague supportive comments or just rephrased what the first guy said. No one challenged the speaker. Why should they? Everyone agreed; and even if they hadn't he was an authority figure and most people are not comforting challenging authority, especially if they know they have no back up. I'm no exception, most of the time either. It was just scary because during Nobel Week tons of people raised their hands to ask the visiting professor/scientist questions. A lot of them were dumb questions. Okay most. But people weren't afraid to ask them. Unlike Christianity, science promotes free thinking and the exchange of ideas. This is a good thing. Don't believe me? Then ask yourself why churches continually need to branch off and mutate into new forms of religions (Episcopalian, Baptist, Mormon, catholic, Raylien, etc.) lol it's because Christianity (and most other religions) are throwback to simpler times and simpler people (don't start feeling nostalgic this is a bad thing!) It's a vestigial social construct.
Here's some of the stuff The Speaker said:
If God didn't create the universe the Bible has no value.
1. My response: Balderdash! It doesn't matter if God exist or not. The Bible is an important part of humanity's history. People lived and died over what were written in it's pages. It has had a tremendous effect on worldwide culture and from a humanist perspective have many great values and life lessons for one to learn regardless of whether or not it is the word of god or bunch of clever authors who lived thousands of years ago.
2. If there is no God and God didn't create the universe that basically makes man God.
No it doesn't. Human did not create the universe. Ergo humans, no matter how advanced our technology gets will never become "Gods". Everybody knows this and unless there is some bizarre StarGate-esque conspiracy I am unaware of this is fact.
3. The "Timepiece Analogy" is wrong.
For those who don't know The Speaker was referring to an analogy proposed by some English guy (I think) basically it's this. God is like a watch manufacturer. He created the universe (the watch) the works by following certain scientific law, which we may discover (the watch has gears inside that interact to make the watch work) and because we can see the watch, and see that the watch is functioning, AND that it is complex we know that someone intelligent was responsible for engineering it's existence. Now you may be asking yourself, how does this conflict with the conservative Christian view? It conflicts because the analogy begins by stating you discover the watch left alone in a field. This suggests that after the watch was created it was abandoned and now God simply watches it tick. Most Christians hate this theory because it would mean is god no longer involved in their lives and all the praying and church attendance won't do jack shit because God has taken the day off. If I personally had to decide I would go with my own theory: I think that maybe God does leave the watch alone. He only messes with every now and then; say to adjust for daylight savings time. It doesn't seem like a long time for him but for us it's millennia because our perception of time is different. I won't commit to that belief but I think it's the best one if you must believe in a god. For example maybe the last time God set his watch back an hour he brought us Jesus. All time sense his death has been lassiez faire. The Bible says this is not the case but then I have never considered The Bible to be entirely factual. I don't think most people would agree with me. No surprise. Why should Christians believe The Timepiece Model, or My Occasion Interference (The Sims, Bender from That Episode of Futurama, Sim City, and Ant Farm-Fish Tank) Model? It's not very fun. It's more fun to believe some benevolent higher power plays a role in your life shaping your existence at every twist and turn. It's easier to entice people if they think they have the opportunity to change their lives with a little help from Bruce Almighty.
4. Faith and Knowledge operate on different levels. You should go with Faith.
Faith sucks. I've never understood it's attraction. Let’s do something unorthodox and think about faith. Faith is the glue of many world religions. But what the hell IS it? Faith is the ability to confidently believe in something despite a lack of evidence in something or existing evidence to the contrary. The Speaker said that while it is good to think with our heads, we should think with our hearts when it is appropriate. Um, okay; but do you honestly think the creation of the universe is something we should "know with our hearts" instead of at least attempt to know with our heads first? I'm mean lets face it, the heart is stupid. It does two things well, lets blood in, and pushes blood out. Or if your heart is like mine generates some pretty trippy rave beats. This morning I missed the bus to my Psych class; so I decided to drive to class. I go to college. Yeah, I'll wait for you to stop laughing. As anyone who has driven on college campuses will tell you this is a futile act. All of the parking spots were taken. Every last one. Also, when I got back to where I had left from my original spot had been taken too. Why didn't I just wait for the next bus? A guy in the lobby told me that he thought 'maybe the buses were running late' I didn't know this guy. I wasn't sure where he got his info from. But I had faith. Oh what a wonderful gift that was. As I circled the lot waiting for someone to back out I saw three buses pass by me. I knew parking was difficult at 10am. I had no good reason to assume the guy was right. But my faith in this stranger, or my lack of faith in the university bus system screwed me over. I realize having faith in a mode of transportation seems to have little to do with having faith in God. However, you must of at one time had a similar experience in your life . . . . . at that time didn't you think "Damn if only I had followed my head and not my gut!" In most cases when you act on faith you fuck up. In real life if Indiana Jones had tried to cross that chasm in The Last Crusade on faith alone he would have fallen to his death. I'm not saying there aren't times when faith isn't a better way to go but most of the time, it is.
Despite this people still rant and rave "Oh you've just GOTTA have faith!" "Faith, that's what religion is all about!" Fuck faith. We don't really need it. Well, not blind faith anyway, which is what religion is.
Hey we've all had a time in our lives when we thought God intervened to change our fate. Doesn't mean that was the case. God may exist and god may be benevolent but I'm sure he has better things to do, like building another parallel universe where everything and everyone is made of ice cream.
Maybe it's just me but I can't help but feel that over the years increasing numbers of people have come to rely on faith instead of practical knowledge. The effects of such could be absolutely disastrous. Christians love fire and brimstone. Imagine if Firefighters just had faith a fire would put itself out? What if the CDC just had faith God would protect al those worthy of salvation so quarantines and disease research were not necessary. Maybe I'm going too far, faith does not necessarily equate laziness but it still has dangerous side effects.
The speaker also said if there is no god than all that life is about is one time pleasures.
Yeah? So what. I realize no one wants to cease to exist but if you spend your whole life preparing for an afterlife that probably isn't there you've really screwed the pooch. Look, no one buys a ticket to a movie, sits down in the theater and then expects to be incessantly entertained. All good things come to and end. Sad, but true. Make the most of the time you had and spend it doing stuff you love with the people you love. If you want an ultimate purpose in life try to treat others as you would like to be treated and try to leave the world better than you found it. Then at least once you're worm food other will get to have fun too, maybe more than you did. It's just like cleaning up after a party. No god does not = no responsibility. If you need to believe in a God to convince you to be a good citizen and contribute positively to society then you're immature and need to grow up. Heavenly Father. I can't imagine a more perfect title. A heavenly father for people who never grew up and still need an authoritative father to make sure they don't make a mess of things.
A little faith can be just what people need sometimes to lift their spirits, but it shouldn't be your life crutch. God gave you a brain. Use it more. Too much faith could lead us back to the Stone Age. Faith is just a big bad gamble. Oh, and in case you have noticed, gambling is a risky addiction.
Says so in the Bible. I think. . .
Jake: Wow, God just saved my ass!
Me: How?
Jake: I needed this book for an English class and I got the last one from the book store!
Odessa: So how has your day been?
Me: Not so great actually. . .
Odessa: Aw, how come?
Me: Well, OH LOOK A PENNY!
Odessa: :) that's good luck.
Me: God must want me to be happy!
Maybe we can't help but believe in god. . .
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