What Now?

I saw Odessa today, she paused before getting on the elevator. Our eyes met briefly, then I stepped on and she waited for the next one to come down the shaft. I guess she thinks she is giving me a taste of my own medicine. I hope she understands I'm not ignoring her to mean or to punish her for having a new boyfriend. It's just too painful for me to stick around and pretend we're just friends. I want to tell her that, but every time I start thinking about her I can't stop and it ruins my day; and I've got too much important stuff to worry about and can't allow my ill-timed feeling to fuck things up. I still need to take that gateway exam. . . . . and SOON!

Sometimes I can hear her loud trademark giggle outside in the hallway and I just know He is with her. I think I really need to do what Jake does and leave to study in the library. Although I do love my wood desk. Nothing is more comfortable than studying at my wood desk, and my commandeered office chair.