Monday, June 13, 2005

The Great Job Search

Best Buy was a hectic place to work. I think that during the time I spend there I probably aged an extra 10 years. Hmm, no wonder they hire mostly young people.

Now I'm jobless. I'm jobless and screwed because college starts for me in July, I move in to my dorm, at yet another college, (maybe) in September. I have no tuition assistance. I have just $500 in my bank account. Dad is still recovering from when he lost his job a few years ago. Obviously, there's going to be a lot o pressure on Mom. Plus more on me, when I spend the next 80 years of my life paying of student loans.

So in short I need a job. Despite my desperate need for money I'm still picky. No fast food. Nothing as insane as Best Buy. Must have discounts on cool stuff. Must make at least $9.00 an hour.

It makes me sick to bring this up again, but when I was in Europe UPS called me. I checked their website everyday for two months waiting for an opportunity to schedule a job interview; the day before I returned a woman called my cell phone and asked if I was available. I missed the opportunity. One of my top choices, gone. I won't be getting that job now, not a chance. The only reason I write this here is because I'm hoping someday when I'm a successful engineer with a six-figure salary I'll read this and chuckle maybe. Ask my hot-as-hell wife "Hey hon, take a look at what I wrote back when I was a poor college-kid". That seems unfathomable now, really.

Instead I'm chasing here right now. About an hour ago I was chasing a paper with confidential information on it across the hot, dusty West side Mall parking lot. I was covered in bar-b-q sauce from Chic-fil-a.

Lets rewind. I got up early this morning, about 10:00, and decided I needed to get to work finding a new job. Whenever I'm filling out a job application I always come across some question that I don't know. Finding the correct information doubles the time it takes to fill out the app. Often I just have to start all over. So before I left on yet another wild goose chase I decided to make my own application on the computer and answer every possible question I could imagine before hand, that way if I stumbled across something I didn't know off the top of my head it would be right there. I made the document, then sent it to Moms house because the printer at Dads is broken. Then I drove over to the other side of town downloaded that attachment, and printed it out.

After that I went cruising around for jobs. I applied at Sears where my formerly unemployed uncle works (the only way to get a job nowadays is to know someone who works there). I don't think there is any chance of me getting hired though, 99% of the people in the store were employees. Next I went to Chic-fil-a, not for a job, just so I could use the "FREE CHICKEN SANDWICH!" gift certificate I won at the Post-Prom. No pickles of course.

I applied at Dillard’s too, normally I'd never want to work in a store that sells clothing (ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) but I received a lot of gift cards to that place a few months ago. Here is where the fun starts. I filled out the application while I ate my chicken sandwich. Once finished I stuffed all my trash into the bag found a trashcan and chucked it in. Maybe with a bit too much force. The bag hit the side and burst open spilling trash everywhere. I quickly started stuffing stuff back in before the wind blew it away. Barbeque sauce (I dip everything in it) was dripping all over me and my nice "job geetin' clothes" and there was another piece of trash blowing away. A piece of trash that had my name, address, social security number, and just about everything else you'd ever want to know about me on it. I had accidentally thrown away my cheat sheet. I finally caught up with the paper when it blew into thee tall grass of what had once been some farmer's pasture and was now just a small sliver of undeveloped land with a giant FOR SALE sign on it. I retrieved my precious document but not before putting on an apparently hi-larious show for Mr. and Mrs. Lardass and their 4400 obese children standing outside of Red Lobster.

By the time I had gotten my paper back and returned to my car I was no longer in the mood to apply at Hollywood Video or anywhere else so I just went home.

Michael Jackson has been acquitted today. Dad is watching it on TV; he's an attorney so I guess this crap is fascinating to him. Many people believe the victims’ mothers were trying to frame him to make money. If so, I guess it didn't work. Though if that was truly their intention I'm sure they could make almost as much by writing a book about the experience. Publishers know as well as I do that some moron would buy it.

Hmm, I just figured out what my new job will be.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche

© 2005 Sojourner Nate