the tortoise and the hare

I awoke the first time today at 11:45, my cell phone was ringing. It was my brother, I answered and he made a bunch of loud noises and then hung up. I was having a good dream about the Kool-Aid Big man pimping my ride with chrome and shit so I grumbled and went to bed. A few minutes later the land line phone rang. I waited anxiously for the person to hang up. They didn't and for some reason the machine didn't get it. So I rushed to the closest phone which was the Sex and The City one shaped like a big high heeled shoe that my Mom had given to my step-sis. "HELLO?!" I yelled. "Hello." an automated voice announced in a mock-female voice even more irritating than the computer on ST:TNG. "This is an important call. We have been trying to reach you for some time. This is not a telemarketing call. Please return this call at 555 555 5555 (I didn't write the number down of course. Fuck this robot.) Once again I dragged my self back to bed and laid there staring at the Nighthawks painting on my wall. I didn't truly wake up today till around 12:34; got up drank some diet Pepsi (I hate diet Pepsi, if I there was ever a time when I didn't I don't remember) to wash the morning mouth taste from my mouth. Then brushed my teeth to keep that acid from eating away at my teeth, then drank some orange juice because it's healthy. Orange juice and toothpaste don't leave a pleasant taste, so don't try this at home. I was going to see Starsky and Hutch today but lest face it I have Fat Bastard loads of work to do and I'm already getting late start. No one else is even home. Step-Dad and little sis are at Chuck E. Cheese. Big sis is riding horses. Mom is at the office and my brother is probably at his student housing drinking beer and watching Real World. Chuck E. Cheese made me think of Meg, but I gotta get to work because as my Dad would say 'I'm up to my ass in 'gators" DAMN, this is what happens when you stay up till 2:00 watching Army Of Darkness and Dreamcatcher, fuck me Freddie!

"All creatures hitherto have created something beyond themselves" - Friedrich Nietzshe