Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Mmm, RED 40.

Cyran o de Bergerac; and so far great movie, our class began watching it today in French. It is funnier than I expected and very well written.

I’ve collected about eight DU points, and an equal amount of buy one get one free caps. I think this is Mountain Dew’s plan to keep people hooked, they issue enough caps that say buy one get one free so that half of the times you buy Mountain Dew: Live Wire you’ll get one. Because most people are such bargain hunters they’ll think “Hey, I’d rather have that kind today but this is too good of a deal to pass up!” They will buy one Dew and get the other free. One will be more DU points which most people are too lazy to redeem anyway, and the other a “buy one, get one free cap” So the whole cycle begins again. Live Wire is the newest kind of Dew and by doing this promo they can virtually guarantee a steady stream of customers to purchase their new product and make it look hot. The more people who see these cyclers with the product become introduced to it and thus become cyclers themselves and so on and so on. Clever. Very very clever. Have I mentioned it is about the only MD flavor that isn’t revolting? I’m not a big fan of the original and code red isn’t’ that great either. Well, they’re okay but neither would be my first choice when selecting a bottle of pop. My Dad gave me ten dollars that morning and to a jobless teen this is a decent sum of money. Especially when you spend it all on lunch. Taco Johns and Pizza Hut as well as two Dews + 1 Red Bull.

When I got back to school everyone I knew and some I didn’t were asking for handouts. Those high-schoolers who refuse to eat cafeteria food become beggars, playing the role of Oliver Twist to the people who come back from fast food ventures, like me. The first guy I ran into said “Hey, dude. Dude! Can I please have one of those Dews, I’m dying of thirst.” Generally I tell these Twisties to go fuck themselves. But I was feeling generous and I had did have two, one of which I didn’t even pay for so I helped the guy out. The next guy I ran into said “Man, hook me up with some breadsticks.” I had many, so I did the polite thing and hooked him up. I also shared some of my nachos with Misty and her Gothy posse. I knew what it was like to be one of those hungry broke guys forced to watch the guy the next locker over take an entire Four For All pizza…and literally make it a four for ALL pizza. So, yeah it felt good to share with these strangers. I felt like that guy in ancient times (circa 1950) who turned his spit into Dew and some body parts into breadsticks and these beatniks were like “Yeah, that’s probably a miracle.” Remember that from history class? Yes, no. Maybe so? Screw you ho! On the way to History I saw Gloria, a friend of Jason’s leaving the library. She smiled at me and said “Hi”, I said “Hi Gloria”
Gloria: “How are you?”
Me “Good.”
I stopped to buy some more Live Wire from the vending machine, to make up for the one I had given away. Ok, so I wasn’t feeling so generous that day.
Gloria: “Are you going to the prom”
Me: May…be *tries to straighten out the dollar* Why, you going?
Gloria: I don’t know, maybe.
Hall-Guy: Hey, Gloria! *waves and starts walking over*
Me: “Yes. I’m going, wanna go with me?”
Gloria: “Sure!”
Hall-Guy: Hey…I thought you were my girl!
Me: I’ll probably need your # then
Gloria: *scribbles it on some paper and hands it to me*

After that my stomach hurt. I really shouldn’t drink so much Dew, corn syrup and citric acids aren’t good for you; plus it made my spit tangerine colored. Then I went to class, we learned about Adolf Hitler, you know Adolph, he is the mediocre artist with the funny little mustache. He is also known for something else but…I just can’t put my finger on it.

"We should just re-declare war, because more people have died during the 'peace' than during the war." - TCWCC, on The War In Iraq, Gulf War II, or Operation Iraqi Freedom...whatever the hell you want to call that mess.

"You can shoot people on TV but you can't swear at them while you're shooting them?" - TCWCC on stupid TV censorship

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