Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Cinnamon Roll

Ne

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas In Kansas

It is truly a white Christmas in Kansas and much of the Midwest. A few days ago we had a blizzard of sorts and it left parts of the state buried under about of foot of snow. I remember when I was a kid how I always hoped for a white Christmas. Back then snow had a magical quality about it, now it's just the icy crap that causes car pile ups on I-70 and requires me to put the pedal to the metal if I want to get up the drive way. However when you're sitting inside with a cup of hot chocolate (marshmallows included) watching it blow around outside, it's still beautiful to look at even though I've lost all desire to wade through it.

I don't care about presents as much as I used to. Probably a good thing, rabid materialism really isn't an attractive character trait. Who you are is not determined by what you have. I wonder if Vince knows that, he sent me a length email extolling the virtues of his new MacBook Pro; but in all fairness, it's an awesome laptop.

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When or If I Ever Feel Better

So much has happened in the time since I ceased my regular postings to this blog. It's sort of a chicken or the egg conundrum; I'm not sure if my spending less time in cyberspace has lead to a more active life in meatspace, or if my more active real life has supplanted my desire to blog everything from my choice of socks in the morning to the taste of every gulp of mountain dew I guzzle. Maybe it's both the egg and the chicken that came first, or maybe neither, maybe it was some ancient ancestor of both. I created this blog so that I could carefully monitor and scrutinize the evolution of my life but in the absence of my anal retentive log keeping I made the leap from missing link to man.

2007 has been a year of change for me, for the following reasons:
1. I had my first full semester of courses in the school department of my choice.
2. I moved for the first time in two years. They say college is the time during which you'll move the most. I hate moving, there's too much stuff, and too much of it is heavy. I resisted these housing changes by living in a private dormitory for a while but after I got accepted into on of the university Scholarship Dormitories I swapped to take advantage of the reduced prices. There have been, however some disadvantages both foreseen and unforeseen.
3. I had my first sexual experience
4. I went ice skating for the first time, apparently I'm a natural. . . . .on that note let me go back to number three.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen I had sex. I fucked a chick, three and a half times in fact! Cool huh? Nah, not really.

Her name was Anna, she's short, skinny, three years my junior, a redneck, pure evil. I'll provide the details of the long story later, I wrote everything down old school style with pen and paper only hours after it happened and I'll transfer it to this blog in one of the former posts later. What's important to mention now is how it's ruining my winter vacation. You see, Anna is (or was?) a dirty skank of Sodomite proportions. I'm sick right now, and I don't know why. I Googled my symptoms and to my horror a lot of them returned links to STD prevention websites. I put two and two together. In addition to feeling miserable this holiday season I'm also broke. I've spent hundreds of dollars, and endured multiple needle sticks to see which virus Anna was kind enough to pass on to me before she ditched me and joined the military. The doctors office called me today and reported that my HIV test was negative. That offers some consolation but there are still a few STDs I haven't tested for (I've gone through the list pretty throughly) Herpes, Syphilis, Hepatitis are still possibilities, and of course it's only been four months since my last close encounter so there's a chance that the test isn't accurate (after 6 months of negatives you're supposedly home free). It's also possible that I just have the common cold, but I'm too paranoid, and too knowledgeable about Anna to accept that unquestioningly.

Who know? Maybe I'm paralyzed with fear for no good reason. Maybe I'm just a cyberchondriac, but it's better to be safe than sorry. That has always been my motto and it always will be.

The worst part is that I've met a decent girl I actually like, and who likes me, but I must keep my distance from her until I get a clean bill of health. There's no way I'd ever put her at risk. We've been talking for a few days and when I feel better I'll ask her out. Clean or not I've learned my lesson, next time I'll wear a condom ALL three and a half times.
"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche

© 2005 Sojourner Nate