Bad Will Hunting
I went to the public library today, or "ly-berry" as the illiterate redneck next to me at the checkout counter called it. It's kind of sad really, it seems like the only people who come to the library now days are hobos/poor people who need to check their e-mail, old men looking for comfortable places to read the newspaper and date old women. I don't read as much as I would like to and when I do I usually purchase the book. This was evident when I approached a librarian to update my card info [address etc.] and discovered I owed $12.00 for never returning a book about Mir checked out in 1999. I had forgotten all about my old obsession with past, present, and future space stations. I had chosen to write a research paper about them (the only reason I visit the library; that, and to get cat calls from Hispanic and Black chicks).
Anyway, while visiting this modern facility and facilitator of knowledge two things sparked my interest: Above each computer terminal is a warning to people (teenage guys, and older pedophiles, I assumed) warning them that it is prohibited to view nudity using the web browsers and that internet usage is closely monitored (Oooh, how 1984). Anyone that does commit this heinous act would be prosecuted and have their library privileges revoked, those 17 and under would have their parents called. I noticed a cute blonde girl with handlebars, maybe in her early twenties, get approached by a cop. She was escorted to the security room with a worried look on her face. I was shocked, first of all because she was a she. Secondly because she looked so [stereotypically] innocent; she was tattoo, piercings, and underarm hair free. She returned a few minutes later smiling nervously, the police offer whispered something to her that sounded like a warning judging by the tone of his voice. The girl returned the computer and continued whatever she was doing. I suppose it's possible she wasn’t busted for looking some dude's ass or lesbian sex but I'm nearly convinced I proof of female porn viewage.
The other thing that caught my attention was an article on CNN.com about hunting cats. Not bobcats or mountain lions, regular old house cats. Normally when I hear about hunting I'm angered. Three things govern my feelings towards hunting, which are generally negative: 1. Conservational attitude. 2. Animal attractiveness. 3. Sense of morality. In that order; I would jump at the chance to protect algae if I knew it was a vital part of some ecosystem & endangered by development, pollution etc. I would be even more persuaded to save an animal like Elephants, or Kangaroos, or Wolves from hunting or habitat destruction. Finally, I don't like the idea of killing things in general though I would to protect something or myself dear to me, and I'll stomp the shit out of a centipede, roach, or silverfish in an instant. You're probably wondering how I feel about this plan to hunt cats, the answer may surprise you: PRETTY DAMN GOOD!
I don't hate cats, but lets just say I much prefer dogs. If cats were endangered it would be a different story . . . but they're not! The world is arguably infested with "domesticated" (can you ever really domesticate a cat?) Felines. I've always wanted to go hunting but I'm uncomfortable with the idea of killing deer, and even turkeys to some extent. I've always wanted to own a gun, if just for the bragging privileges but there's not much point in me buying hunting equipment when the only thing I'd shoot is are a select few invertebrates. I also am not old enough to own, or have enough money to spend on unnecessary items like handguns.
I wouldn't mind killing a few cats but the most fun way to do so would likely be prohibited even if they did allow cat hunting here. Fun ways such as: dousing them in gas and setting them on fire; stomping; vehicular cat slaughter; using chainsaws, katanas, spears, bayonetes; bludgeoning with pipe; use of grenades. If I get to kill cats I want to do it on my own terms and not be limited to a rifle. I'm shocked at my eagerness to brutally eviscerate these animals. I guess the only cat I like is mine. I guess cats are like women; sometimes they're just too bitchy. Don't worry; I don't want to hunt women though. Yet.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/04/12/killing.wildcats.ap/index.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=handle+bars
Anyway, while visiting this modern facility and facilitator of knowledge two things sparked my interest: Above each computer terminal is a warning to people (teenage guys, and older pedophiles, I assumed) warning them that it is prohibited to view nudity using the web browsers and that internet usage is closely monitored (Oooh, how 1984). Anyone that does commit this heinous act would be prosecuted and have their library privileges revoked, those 17 and under would have their parents called. I noticed a cute blonde girl with handlebars, maybe in her early twenties, get approached by a cop. She was escorted to the security room with a worried look on her face. I was shocked, first of all because she was a she. Secondly because she looked so [stereotypically] innocent; she was tattoo, piercings, and underarm hair free. She returned a few minutes later smiling nervously, the police offer whispered something to her that sounded like a warning judging by the tone of his voice. The girl returned the computer and continued whatever she was doing. I suppose it's possible she wasn’t busted for looking some dude's ass or lesbian sex but I'm nearly convinced I proof of female porn viewage.
The other thing that caught my attention was an article on CNN.com about hunting cats. Not bobcats or mountain lions, regular old house cats. Normally when I hear about hunting I'm angered. Three things govern my feelings towards hunting, which are generally negative: 1. Conservational attitude. 2. Animal attractiveness. 3. Sense of morality. In that order; I would jump at the chance to protect algae if I knew it was a vital part of some ecosystem & endangered by development, pollution etc. I would be even more persuaded to save an animal like Elephants, or Kangaroos, or Wolves from hunting or habitat destruction. Finally, I don't like the idea of killing things in general though I would to protect something or myself dear to me, and I'll stomp the shit out of a centipede, roach, or silverfish in an instant. You're probably wondering how I feel about this plan to hunt cats, the answer may surprise you: PRETTY DAMN GOOD!
I don't hate cats, but lets just say I much prefer dogs. If cats were endangered it would be a different story . . . but they're not! The world is arguably infested with "domesticated" (can you ever really domesticate a cat?) Felines. I've always wanted to go hunting but I'm uncomfortable with the idea of killing deer, and even turkeys to some extent. I've always wanted to own a gun, if just for the bragging privileges but there's not much point in me buying hunting equipment when the only thing I'd shoot is are a select few invertebrates. I also am not old enough to own, or have enough money to spend on unnecessary items like handguns.
I wouldn't mind killing a few cats but the most fun way to do so would likely be prohibited even if they did allow cat hunting here. Fun ways such as: dousing them in gas and setting them on fire; stomping; vehicular cat slaughter; using chainsaws, katanas, spears, bayonetes; bludgeoning with pipe; use of grenades. If I get to kill cats I want to do it on my own terms and not be limited to a rifle. I'm shocked at my eagerness to brutally eviscerate these animals. I guess the only cat I like is mine. I guess cats are like women; sometimes they're just too bitchy. Don't worry; I don't want to hunt women though. Yet.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/04/12/killing.wildcats.ap/index.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=handle+bars
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