I'm Back

I drove home today. When I arrived I noticed that the explorer was gone so I worried they all might be out; but when I got up to the window I saw Oprah on the TV and knew that Mom, or at least Liz should have been home. I rang the door bell and Mom got off the treadmill and let me in.

The drive back was a little difficult, one of my tires had started to go flat and even with the pedal to the metal my car can rarely get past 65 (it takes a REALLY long time to accelerate). It was the busiest commute I had ever made and only my third time going from city to city but I made it. Other cars were getting annoyed and trying to pass me but they couldn't because every had the same idea, so there wasn't a lot of room in front of my car for others who had gone around to move back into the right lane once in front of me. I thought this was very funny.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I helped Liz set up her face book, watched Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, and served as a jungle-gym/napkin for Elle.

Thanksgiving Break Eve

Today is the last time I will need to attend any classes for the next five days. I had math, engineering, and journalism today. Thankfully English was cancelled (I wasn't prepared).

Jake only had one class, and now he's gone, on his way back to Texas. I say JT on the elevator, he's going back to Minnesota.

The only people who aren't leaving it seems are the foreign students who would have to fly back to Nigeria or China or Turkey or wherever. Which wouldn't make since just for a few days.

Them, and the RAs. I'm starting to reconsider my application for the whole the whole RA business next year.

I'm driving back home tomorrow around noon (Mom wants me to leave before the deer come out at night). I will spend Wednesday and Thursday at Moms; Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Dads.

A Look Back

A picture is worth 1000 words. Here's 5000 words:




Although I was not on campus during Halloween, students wore their costumes a few days before and after the holiday. Here you can see famous video game brothers, Mario & Luigi, offering a hug to a passionate preacher (actual not costumed). For about a week the preacher guy preached to students from the steps. When I first saw his bottle of water, and stool I assumed he was a comedian. Later when I saw the bible I recognized his true intention. After a while the guy stopped showing up on campus. I guess he got sick of the ridicule or something. Maybe the administration ran him off. I was actually kind of disappointed. I'm not very religious, but I value Christianity for it's cultural contributions. He said something about not enough students here attending church.....Guess that's why he came out. At first I thought he was a Jehova Witness or a Mormon, I was shocked (and a little inspired) to see such a display of evangelicalism from a Methodist.



In my effort to do better in school, I've decided to move towards the front of the room. For old times sake I snapped a pic in the back of the class. I'll miss that back row. We had such good times. Reading the newspaper. Playing computer games. Looking at girls' thongs. Sleeping. Ah, oh well . . .



A loud clash between residents has awoken the entire floor at around 2Am. On the bright side, I learned the name of Unknown Hot Girl. She's Felicity, and she looks really hot covered in shaving cream.



Got to check out the college radio station where Phiilip works. This cool artwork was in the restroom there.

Mounting Desperation

So my date plan with Ami bombed. I had the whole thing planned out. By 'thing' I am referring to the means by which we would become closer, she would become more comfortable with me, and eventually how and where we'd have sex. I even checked out some possible techniques that were effective but not over complicated or gross.

Sadly, the one thing I didn't plan very well is the date itself. Either she 'yes' just to get rid of me, or she was genuinely interested until it I made it seem as if I was a complete airhead who would loose his head if it wasn't attached.

Maybe both.

Either way, I fucked up. Ok moving on. I need to find new prospects. Preferable virginal ones like myself. After all, having sex with someone who'd already done it would be like going to see a movie you've already seen with someone else who hasn't. That sucks. You can always tell the virgin chicks (they are either really repugnant or really shy and quiet) I prefer the latter, obviously. There are the religious ones too but getting them to join in the fun would be like trying to teach Shamoo to fly.

I've actually gotten a few bites on the line but lets just say these were not keepers. Tossed them right back. I'm saving myself for a hottie. After that, then I can start working towards my eagle scout badge.

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I asked out this girl in my math course on Friday. She said yes, and we were going to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith tonight but there were a few problems. First of all the movie was only showing at the union on Thursday & Friday. Not Saturday like I thought, second I didn't know how to get to her stupid all chick dorm (damn dozens of curvy concealed one-way roads!) and third she changed her mind and said she was "too busy".

With my evening plans ruined I decide to just go wander around downtown (since I was already in clean non sleeping attire) and perhaps rent a movie called Seven from Hastings. It was a horrible plan, because....Well....Because that would be waste of time. The movie was recommended to me by someone here and the people in this dorm have horrible taste (I can only bear to watch Napoleon Dynamite 1.5 times I'm sorry but it's just not as great as everyone thinks.)

Luckily, I bumped into Odessa in the hall and she invited me to attend an Opera with her (music majors, go figure). It was very odd, but I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.

"See! Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people from people with smaller guns." - American Dad

Why Did The Chicken Flavor Cross The Road?

Hmm, I wonder if it's possible to get avian influenza from Ramen Noodles. Does the flavoring use actual chicken......it is from Asia after all.

Oh well, too late now.

Woah

Check out this big ass hole someone [probably drunk] knocked into the wall. That's Smith for ya.

The Big Drip

I woke up this morning stepped out of bed and heard a splash. Somehow, a huge amount of water leaked underneath the wall behind my bed and desk and created a huge puddle over night. Of course this huge leak was only on my side, Jake's was perfectly dry.

Just my luck I guess.

So when Jake went downstairs for breakfast he told the person at the desk about the puddle and the maintenance staff came up a few minutes later. Clearly they were as shocked as I was. I heard one of the repair guys say over his radio that "everyone had to come see this!"

They handled the situation pretty quickly. A wet vac was used to suck out all the water and while I was in class a large fan finished drying the area. The only problem is now my room smells like mildew.

My mattress also had to be replaced.

Move Over Dorothy

Whenever I visit another state, especially one that isn't located in the Midwest, the first thing I usually hear in response my being from KS is a Wizard of Oz reference. That's really sad when you think about, considering the movie is older than I am (I've heard rumors about a remake starring Katie Holmes and Robin Williams but he might have been joking).

Then again, there are those who remember our second most recognized celebrity--NO, not Bob Dole--Fred Phelps. I met a really sexy & sophisticated girl from San Francisco and she mentioned him.

But now, we have an all new claim to fame, and that fame is: Evolution

Not in our schools. Kansas has told those nerds to take their science and shove it up their . . . . . Science holes. Their science holes given to them by our one true heavenly father (the Christian one, amen!).

From what I read on the internet, congress actually changed the official definition of science so that intelligent design could be included as a legitimate theory; and not just as a hopeful farfetched guess.

One of my professors spent the first ten minutes ranting about this subject. He believes that wherever we go from now on we will have to live with the stereotype of coming from a backwards state, and that this will negatively affect our chance of getting certain jobs or being accepted to out of state graduate schools.

I can't say I blame him, but I do know who I could.

I Hate The Parking Dept

For those of you who have never attended a four year university you may horrified by the following post.

In high school, I kept my car in the big, weatherproof garages at either my Mom or Dads house. During school, I could park wherever I wanted. Sometimes my favorite spot was taken but there was always somewhere else I could go.

Not so in college.

Not only am I forced to pay $70 a semester to leave my car in a lot exposed to the elements (and rich JC bitches who throw ice cream cones at my car); but I must move it to another parking lot halfway across campus during home basketball games. That's right, despite the fact that I have supported this school with my tuition and respect (until recently) they still sell me and many other students out and whore themselves to sports fans.

Fuck you red permit and fuck you parking guys.

Saw II Looks Fucking Stupid

Well it does.

Shut Up.

"Disaronno's warm and sensual taste makes you wish it would never end."

Free Time This Time

I did something really strange on Saturday. I studied. I went to the library, which was completely empty and found a nice little corner where I could spend the next five hours plowing through work.

At first I strongly objected to going to the library to work. It didn't make logical sense to me. I mean, why drive or walk to work some where when you have a nice comfortable desk at home?

The reason, I've discovered is because it is distraction free. At the library I won't be tempted by movies on TV that I've already seen or all the incredible wonders the internet can bring. At the library I can avoid being caught in that vicious web surfing cycle of Comedy-Porn-News-Comedy-Porn-News. I suppose I could have brought my laptop to the library and taken advantage of their WiFi but I was, for obvious reasons, concerned about viewing non work related material out of my dorm. Actually I'm a little paranoid about viewing non work related IN my dorm too. Jake thinks I'm paranoid but I still suspect something....

So yeah, it's best to work some place with nothing fun around. The library I go to is great because it doesn't even have a periodicals section so I won't be tempted to read Popsci, Newsweek, or Wired. I can also usually find a small study cubicle that I can lock myself in to avoid people so the business of the library doesn't draw my focus.

So with all that shit behind me I was free to some thing I really wanted this weekend. Like explore down town, rent a movie (Land of the Dead), and Dad came by so we had lunch at Chili's today.

Some Good News

I found my universal remote control watch. It's a good thing I didn't go crazy and accuse my roommate's friends of stealing it.

I deserve a pat on the back for that bit of self control. But of course I should have expected no less.

Sweet, Mateless.

Both my suitemates have officially moved out. Alex aka "Jack from Will & Grace" and JT aka "Malibu's most wanted" have left. Alex has moved in to a new apartment with a friend and JT has gone to the 5th floor where he will be allowed to blast music and have people in and out at all hours of the day.

I have to admit I'm gonna miss those guys, I never really had a problem with any of them. But them I'm a really laid back and open guy.

I think Jake felt differently. I actually had to call the front office once and report JT's noise FOR him. The music didn't annoy me so much as Jake standing around my bed complaining about it.

I don't know, maybe I'm just really accepting. Or maybe it was because I actually enjoy hip-hop. I don't know, at the moment it really doesn't matter.

Anyway, the newly empty room has had it's benefits. We now use it to get dressed in after showering, and it serves as a good place to study free from distractions and a lot closer than the library. A friend suggested we convert it into a "party room" but unfortunately it would be difficult keeping our usage of the room under wraps if we started moving furniture in. The RAs check out the room at random intervals at least once a day.

Comatose

long story soon to be updated

The Scavenger Hunt

Smith dormitory sponsored a scavenger hunt today with some fabulous prizes and cash. Materialistic guy that I am you know I couldn't refuse. I even put off my homework to embark on this quest.

I came early, grabbed a seat in front while the resident assistants were setting out mini sandwiches and preparing to brief us on our 'mission'.

I had originally hoped Jake would help, but as usual he had some frat thing he had to do.

I called Ty, also but just got his voicemail. So I decided to do it by myself. The rules only said that you could have a 3 team mate maximum. They didn't specify anything about a minimum though. In the end I decided this was the best way to go, more efficient.

While I was listening to the RAs talk about the event two nice people from the 7th floor approached me and invited me to join their group. I was a little reluctant because I was convinced by the that it was best to work alone but I didn't want to seem like an asshole so I accepted their offer.

We did not get off to good start. Jason left to get something as soon as the blockhead-RA said "Go!" so while everyone else was leaving we had to try and find him.

The clock was running and we couldn't locate him, so Yin and I were forced to leave. While searching for Jason, we forgot to grab the instructions so we did not know where to drive first. Luckily Yin spotted the starting line after circling around a little. We lined up, and while we waited for the hunt to begin we Jason found us. He walked across the parking lot and hopped in the car. We were very lucky. He scolded Yin for forgetting her cell phone because if she had brought it he could have called her.

While we waited for the RAs to write pass out all the information to the cars in line people began to get anxious and started honking their horns. To pass the time I copied the honking pattern of the guy in front of me. A little later we were copying each others honking patter, making it a little more complex each time. This was one of the ways we passed the time. Yin also taught me about 20 words in Chinese, they were both from China.

Anyway long story short, the hunt was very long and challenging. We came in last. So didn't win any prizes.

I called Mom an whined about this and how it seems like I never win anything; she made me feel better by helping me realize that I had fun. Also it was great meeting some new people.

And at least we finished, Stephens team from the 4th floor didn't even finish because Stephen lost his car keys in the park while searching for a clue. So I guess we did okay when you think about that. The hunt finally got me familiar with the town as well. Previously I had not taken the time to explore it.

While I Was Out

I needed to go home last weekend but judging from what Jake told me I missed out on some pretty spectacular stuff. For one our school defeated it's long time rivals in football. Afterwards, the fan rushed the field and tore down the goal post. They dragged it to the lake and threw it in, and another group of spectators tried to take the other goal post down town but were stopped by police who used non lethal weapons on them.

That would have been a sight to see, as would the various Halloween costumes worn by the girls on campus. The attire I see them in during the weekends is stimulating enough, I can hardly imagine what they donned for this holiday occasion.

At least I got to see Odessa in her Hooters waitress costume before I left.

God she is so. goddamn. fuckable.