LSOB?

An article from Men's Health magazine describes six undesirable candidates for employment. When I stumbled across this article it chilled me. Was I one of these six incorrect choices. Was I, gulp, the "Loafer"? I didn't mention it yesterday but I was fired from my job as desk assistant at the residence hall. I got lucky though, I was fired on the last day of school, and coincidentally the last day of work. There was one shift in particular that I was repeatedly late to. This shift occurred after my last class of the day at 5:00pm this left me an hour to get home and eat before the cafeteria closed. It sucked because I always planned to just chow down quickly and make a run for work, but once I sat down I always ended up bumping into some friends and during our conversations and my leisurely eating I always forgot about work. Anyway I've gotten lucky a lot. The last time I was fired, I already had another job lined up so I didn't have to worry about having a good reference. The same is true in this case, I was hired a week before school ended and management caught on to my attendance habits. Close call. Needless to say, I don't want any more. Despite the shitty hours at work I've vowed to arrive a little early EVERY day. I also want to work harder than every other intern and every other employee in the office. I saw the Pursuit of Happiness yesterday, and I guess you could say it inspired me though I had already made the promise to myself. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to say it encouraged me to stick to my guns.

So far my goal is easier than I initially thought it would be. I've finished 5 operation permits a week in advance of their due date. My supervisor called me "Very productive" which brightened my day a little. With the exception of three, maybe four employees I don't have much competition. Delilah told me she tried to play Yahoo games yesterday and was upset when she found out it was blocked. According to her she was only going to play because she was finished with her work. My motto so far is that I', never finished. I look for more stuff after mine in ready to submit. As for the importance of being punctual. Well, so far I've been arriving an average of three minutes late. It takes quite a while to walk from my parking space. I can work on that though. I think Delilah spends most of her time absorbing the affection of her Supervisor. Of all the people I've encountered at the office I would say he's the second most commited to his job after Jimbo, the man in the cubicle adjacent to mine. Delilah's supervisor is almost 10 years older than us, and married, but I can tell he likes her. He just isn't sure how to go about courting her. I'll let him think about it, and while he does that coveted number 2 hardest worker position of his is mine! I'm not sure I can beat out old Jimbo though, the man is just seriously focused. He managed to ignore the biggest whiner in the office and continue to work throughout his entire hour plus bitch about policies and salaries. What a machine! My supervisor, Scotty (who amazingly also resembles Scotty from Star Trek) is also a master engineer. He works at a slightly slower pace but he is very thorough and knows every proper procedure and task like the back of his hand. The man is really sharp, I feel like an idiot sometimes because of the seemingly obvious questions I must ask him but it's better safe than sorry!

In other news I find it very amusing that the majority of the files in our permit folders were submitted by Enron. Remember those guys and their big business blunder?

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=guy.wisdom&category=career.money&conitem=56b17acad7402110VgnVCM10000013281eac____

Cubicle City

I began my internship today. My current schedule follows this cow-town workday that requires me to work from 8-5 as opposed to the 9-5 status quo. We are given an hour lunch but since I hardly take 15 minutes to eat lunch I'd prefer to just sleep in a little longer. I won't complain much more though, honestly I'm thrilled to have this job. At first I didn't believe I would find work this summer, so it's a pleasant surprise. So after rising early enough to wake up the sun, I headed to work downtown, to the city's newest office building.

My mother dropped me off today, following the same route I used to take to high school, a short ride followed by the usual nagging. An eerie and nostalgic experience. I decided not to drive today because I don't yet have my parking permit.

My first task was to find the Human Resources Department, which I did, and once there found five other, interns there awaiting orientation. I did not talk to them until we entered a vacant conference room with the main HR woman. However it was obvious they were interns. In addition to being the youngest, they dress differently; the other guy and I don't were ties just polo shirts tucked in. The four females were probably the nicest dressed in the building, all of the other women who had already been there for, who knows how many geologic epochs looked like bums in their raggedy clothes, worn out shoes and GIANT plastic mugs. The mugs are probably sized to accommodate their bodies, which are so large that they’ve lost the typical dimensions of a human being, and just become roughly spherical. Some of the people I work with fit the modern definition of a planet:

A planet, as defined by the International Astronomical Union (IAU), is (1) a celestial body orbiting a star or stellar remnant that is (2) massive enough to be rounded by its own gravity, not massive enough to cause thermonuclear fusion in its core, and has (3) cleared its neighboring region of debris.

I had to slide out of the hallway just to avoid being squashed by one woman who walked by so this even takes care of the last requirement. Of course, this is not true for all, but the vast majority. Mom tells me that the dress code and size of these people is a stereotype of state employees. I see this as a great advantage. Back in the day when I worked at imperfect purchase forgetting to tuck in your shirt after going to the bathroom meant being hassled by one or more superiors; here, no one cares because I still look sharp by comparison. It's the first time I've worked with so many people so much older than me. However I do not feel so disconnected because most of the staff is comprised of scientists, or engineers so we have common interests.

I've been paired, I guess you could say with another, sexy intern named Delilah, she seems very sweet. I don't know much about her other than she chose her major because her guidance counselor said she was "really good at math and science" the rest of her family farms far away in part of the state I'm not familiar with. It takes her about an hour to get to work. Talk about commitment, I can now officially never be late because it would look pathetic; even more so than it would anyway.

Our eyes lit up when Delilah and I saw our offices. Okay, so they aren't technically offices, but they are really nice cubicles and mine is near a large window in front of the building where I can see the State House, D. Tower, and my former high school.

Culture Clash

Entering any new environment inevitably requires an adaptation of attitude, no matter how small. Tomorrow I begin my first day at Air & Radiation. Transitioning from laboratories and lecture halls to going to work in an office setting requires one to alter their dress code appropriately. To do so Mom and I paid a visit to the mall to shop for fancy new clothes--I needed something to replace the two pairs hole ridden khakis I've been wearing since high school.

Spending this much time has reminded me or better yet it has shed light on how much independence I've become accustomed to and how much I loathe Mom's incessant heckling. I've been doing my own thing for about a year and I'm not interested in being told at, 20 years, to make my bed early every morning, wash dishes etc. She thinks that if she didn't tell me these things i wouldn't do them. . . and she's quite right. I would go months without such chores back at N. Smith Hall, and I liked it that way! I also don't like being told how to eat, drink, stand, or walk. Oh god, I wish I was kidding in regards to the last four things.

I got a call from former roommate today.....
Craig: How was your date with Maria?
Me: It went well, I think we have a lot in common. I like her.
Craig: So, did you take her back home and fuck her like an animal.
Me: Ewww! No. I only went out with her because she bought me breakfast and I felt like I owed her for last time.
Craig: Aww, I think she's the kind of girl who really needs someone to just give it to her ya know, and you're always bitching about not getting laid.
Me: No way.
Craig: If she's desperate you could probably get her to do anything you want.
Me: I just want her to go home to TX. Dude, she had a mustache. I shaved before the date and I'm supposed to have facial hair. What's her excuse?

Now What?

I've finished my second year of college. My grades are the worst yet. I thought the Chemistry course I took would be easy because I had chemistry and advanced placement chemistry in high school. In retrospect, I think it was an easy class. That would explain why I did poorly, if I'm not challenged, or assume something will be painless I don't put forth the necessary effort. The same thing happened with Journalism 101; I think could have aced that class in middle school, and that was the wrong attitude. However, I earned a 'B' in calculus, a class most people I know where frightened of. Unfortunately I received a lowly 'D' in chemistry, so I will be retaking the course this summer; Meaning I'll have to commute for nearly half an hour early every morning to class. Then return so that I can get to work at noon. Needless to say, I'm not anticipating a lax summer holiday. On the bright side, I should have a little more free time, perhaps enough to finish some novels, take up guitar again and of course, blog!

My step-sister Liz and my cousin Jamie graduated from high school today. Liz will be going to K-State, Jamie will start at Harvard this fall. I'm envious, hopefully they won't make the same mistakes I do. I doubt they will, no one is as absent minded as me.

Liz through a graduation party at Mom's today. I attended despite being exhausted. I had no idea I owned so much crap. All of it's good stuff though so I'm not sure what I want to throw away or sell. I know that I need to relieve myself of some material possessions though because moving in and out of the residence halls with all of the heavy boxes I have is insane. Pat had to make four trips back to the resident hall. He's going to spend part of this summer in the "glorious nation of Kazakhstan". International travel is so much fun. I believe it is one of my favorite things in life. One more positive side affect of taking this long to get through engineering school is that maybe I'll have the opportunity to study abroad next year since I won't be taking the upper level courses that require I stay on the local campus.

Mom: Let me take a picture of that dog bite.
Liz: Why?
Mom: Because by the time you go to your appointment it may have healed a lot.
Liz: Oh yeah! And we need some more body shots for my photo collage *laughs*
Me: Body shots?