Bored Like Me?
Today went flew past a warp speed. I began the way they usually do on break, waking up late, shaking off a strange dream then watching TV until noon when Mom gets home for lunch and I shower beforehand so it looks like I've been busy instead of just lounging in my underpants all day. However this time Mom took the rest of the day off so she could pester me and drag me around on errands, then complain how useless I am. I'm not saying such a statement is false but, I don't want to hear it.
We went to Wal-Mart and bought much needed food. As we were leaving I asked about the film I had taken two weeks ago and she told me that she had forgot about it and that it was in the bottom of her purse. I wanted to run back in and drop it off but she said Wal-Mart had too many people, and I guess this is a bad thing. So we went to K-Mart. In the end I was glad I did because I was able to buy more film that had been marked down and as I was leaving saw a pantyless hottie in low riding jeans bend over to pet a dog which meant I got an eyeful of her ass. Now that I think about, everyone I saw in K-Mart was female. Mostly college girls and Martha Stewart wannabes as opposed to Wal-Mart which contained all sorts but mostly men with beer guts, bald heads or long greasy ponytails. There were a lot fewer people too despite K-Mart being a cleaner dare I say classier store. So why is business booming at Wal-Mart? Really good marketing? K-Mart even had a little food court, and any place that can feed me popcorn in large quantities is a good thing. Later we went to my Mom's office so she could pick up a fax and she could replace the diet Pepsis in the break room fridge let me summarize some conversations I've had.
One Week Ago
Misty: I wanted to skip school and go to a funeral today, a friend of mine's Mom died *sniffs* in a car accident. She was like a mother to me too! My stupid real mother wouldn't let me go though!
Today
Mom: Ooh, Lauren left some Lean Cuisines in the freezer!
Me: Lauren?
Mom: You know, I told you about Lauren. That woman in my office who died a week ago.
Me: Oh yeah. . .
Mom: After it happened, Susan went around telling everyone that "they had to scrape her face out of the pavement" I should have told her to shut up, what a big mouth.
Wow, refrigerator raiding is a lot like grave robbing, only better cuz you get to eat what you find. In the end she didn't take it, I guess Mom realized there was something unappetizing about eating a dead woman's diet food. Despite the new and improved flavor! After that I picked up my car from Dad's and took it to a body shop for an estimate. 3,500 dollars for repairs, I can't believe I'm actually going to waste money fixing that piece of shit. That's all the money I have from my last and only job. I called Chuck E. Chz back and the manager told me that they were overstaffed. The same manger that had promised me a position (lol I said position and made this sound like a professional job...I'd be a fucking rat!) if I checked back at this time. Oh well, I saw that Steak n' Shake is hiring so I guess I'll try there. I'm thinking about painting a big "M" on the hood of my car so I can call it the Mach Five. Just kidding, if I were to have anything on my car it would be flames or if I had a GF i'd ask her to pose naked and have some lowrider-guy paint her on the front. By the way I'd never have anything on my car. Exercise in tackiness. So, who likes my new title? I don't.
"Shop smart, shop S-Mart" - Army Of Darkness
"Fuck that shit Rube, I need a goddamn lap top!" - Dead Like Me
"Open the iris!" - Stargate SG-1
"No, no. I'm NOT the ASSMAN." - Cosmo Kramer
We went to Wal-Mart and bought much needed food. As we were leaving I asked about the film I had taken two weeks ago and she told me that she had forgot about it and that it was in the bottom of her purse. I wanted to run back in and drop it off but she said Wal-Mart had too many people, and I guess this is a bad thing. So we went to K-Mart. In the end I was glad I did because I was able to buy more film that had been marked down and as I was leaving saw a pantyless hottie in low riding jeans bend over to pet a dog which meant I got an eyeful of her ass. Now that I think about, everyone I saw in K-Mart was female. Mostly college girls and Martha Stewart wannabes as opposed to Wal-Mart which contained all sorts but mostly men with beer guts, bald heads or long greasy ponytails. There were a lot fewer people too despite K-Mart being a cleaner dare I say classier store. So why is business booming at Wal-Mart? Really good marketing? K-Mart even had a little food court, and any place that can feed me popcorn in large quantities is a good thing. Later we went to my Mom's office so she could pick up a fax and she could replace the diet Pepsis in the break room fridge let me summarize some conversations I've had.
One Week Ago
Misty: I wanted to skip school and go to a funeral today, a friend of mine's Mom died *sniffs* in a car accident. She was like a mother to me too! My stupid real mother wouldn't let me go though!
Today
Mom: Ooh, Lauren left some Lean Cuisines in the freezer!
Me: Lauren?
Mom: You know, I told you about Lauren. That woman in my office who died a week ago.
Me: Oh yeah. . .
Mom: After it happened, Susan went around telling everyone that "they had to scrape her face out of the pavement" I should have told her to shut up, what a big mouth.
Wow, refrigerator raiding is a lot like grave robbing, only better cuz you get to eat what you find. In the end she didn't take it, I guess Mom realized there was something unappetizing about eating a dead woman's diet food. Despite the new and improved flavor! After that I picked up my car from Dad's and took it to a body shop for an estimate. 3,500 dollars for repairs, I can't believe I'm actually going to waste money fixing that piece of shit. That's all the money I have from my last and only job. I called Chuck E. Chz back and the manager told me that they were overstaffed. The same manger that had promised me a position (lol I said position and made this sound like a professional job...I'd be a fucking rat!) if I checked back at this time. Oh well, I saw that Steak n' Shake is hiring so I guess I'll try there. I'm thinking about painting a big "M" on the hood of my car so I can call it the Mach Five. Just kidding, if I were to have anything on my car it would be flames or if I had a GF i'd ask her to pose naked and have some lowrider-guy paint her on the front. By the way I'd never have anything on my car. Exercise in tackiness. So, who likes my new title? I don't.
"Shop smart, shop S-Mart" - Army Of Darkness
"Fuck that shit Rube, I need a goddamn lap top!" - Dead Like Me
"Open the iris!" - Stargate SG-1
"No, no. I'm NOT the ASSMAN." - Cosmo Kramer
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home