Saturday Night Beaver

I rented Pauly Shore is Dead and Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow from Hastings tonight. I'm upset that they changed their early return policy from a dollar off your next rental as long as it's back early to 50 cents off your next rental as long as it's back the next day; but I guess I'll survive. I haven't had the chance to watch any of them yet because Uncle Mitch is watching some dumb basketball game. There goes my $.50 for each. Bummer.

Couldn't sleep tonight, I was up ALL night. Not one wink. Sometime around 6:00 AM (I would never be up that early unless it was an accident) I decided I was too horny to sleep. Now that I had identified the problem I needed a solution. Porn. I've seen just about everything (that I want to) on the internet now so my only chance left is to actually by some. I went down to the convenience store/ gas station and got some Blue Bubble Gum Soda plus the latest issues of Barely Legal and Eighteen. After a good hour of wanking I was ready to fall fast asleep. I look foreword to the day when a post titled Saturday Night Beaver actually results in true sex with someone other than my girlfriend Hangelina Jolie. The perks of being 18 are downplayed by the disadvantages of being a virgin. Despite what the church or the school told you it isn't cool. The only teen guys who say being a virgin is cool are gays trying to hide their sexual orientation from their parents.