John Conor, Get DOWN!

I think it's about time they started making ESurance hentai.

PORN SEARCH!

Just out of curiosity I did a Google search for Fetish for tall women lifting heavy things. I think Colbert may have discovered the one fetish that doesn not have it's own porn site. Though I'm sure it will in a few days. There's always money to be made with fetishes. I thought about starting my own Graduate Teacher Assistant porn site.

Yikes

I received a pink package slip in the mail today and brought it up to the desk. I said to the RA: "Hey, I think I have a big package!" then I handed her the package slip and she went into the mail room to fetch it for me. She didn't even crack a smile. Nor did she say anything to me, nor did she even look in my direction. What a bitch. Okay, so it wasn't the most clever double entendre ever conceived; but I found it amusing. Came up with it on the elevator.

Maybe she was on the rag.

I was hoping the package was my new "Don't Mess With Kansas" t-shirt but instead it was a card and some thermal underwear from Mom. So Valentine's Day is today, not yesterday.

I don't have any plans. Well, I do but no romantic ones. I'm going to attend bible study and homework (Precalculus and Microeconomics). This is the first V-day in a while that I truly don't care. I'm too busy to want to socialize with anyone right now, unfortunately that's all I feel like I've been doing for the past few weeks. I need a break, I need some time to recharge. I need some me-time, and preferably textbook free.

Belated?

http://valentines.ytmnd.com/

Reunion

You'll never believe who I bumped into on the elevator today. Anton! That guy I used to trade Pokemon cards and lunches with way back in the dimness of antiquity that was middle school.

He was on the elevator with Cute San Fran Hippy Chick and some other guys from the 9th floor.

I also ran into Jesus. I decided to attend a bible study just for the fun of it. I'm thinking about giving the whole religious discovery thing a shot again. Jake says that once I attend one, the JC freaks will start trying to reel me in relentlessly. So far they seem okay though. I don't know if I can trust what he says anyway, in addition to being an Orthodox Jew, Jake seems somewhat paranoid (and anxious etc.) I guess I'll just have to figure this out for myself. I wanted to attend some Islamic and Jewish services to but the bottom line is in America, if you're searching for a faith to invest your spirituality in, Christianity is just more accessible. Kinda makes it hard to compare and contrast, wonder if they do that on purpose.

A Message

All those Islamic people shitting bricks over that Danish cartoon depicting Mohammad as a terrorist need to just fucking get over it! You burn down embassies and then become offended when members of your faith are depicted as terrorists? Hey how about you develop a sense of humor and stop blowing shit up and maybe people wouldn't view your religion as a cult for pyromaniacs, insane zealots, and oppressive losers. Don't you have something better to do? Than force people who practice your religion to suffer, and force everyone who doesn't to suffer even more. Islamic people are annoying. There I said it. In fact ALL religious people are annoying. Those Christian fundamentalist who are always lobbying TV stations not to air episodes of South Park suck ass an need to get a life. A life that doesn't revolve around devoting your existence to trying to guess how an imaginary friend might possibly want you live.

Retards.

Oh yeah and I also hate Jews, Animist, Buddhist, and well if I left anything out feel free to assume I hate them too.

You CAN NOT tell me that the world would be better off if there was no religion. A 100% secular or agnostic society would be one small step towards perfection and you goddamn know it.

Fuck Pussy On Tuesday

Frontal

Parietal

Occipital

Temporal

with respective cortexs

Nervous Wreck

"Oh god I've just lost control of my bladder! Why didn't I clothespin the end of my penis like Muriel told me to?"

I just got back from my first date in . . . ever, really. I was extremely nervous at first but I became comfortable around her faster than I usually do with girls. Madelyn is really hot! One I got cleaned up I thought I looked pretty good too. I'm pissed that Jake said she was out of my league; but I guess I showed him when she agreed to go out with me.

We drove down MAin street looking for a place to eat dinner but the first two places we went to had about an hour wait so we ended up going to Old Chicago. It was a pretty good date, good conversation free of awkward silences.

We like the same kinds of food, and we're both ambitious but other than that we really don't have much in common. She spends her time differently than I do, and we have opposing philosophical perspectives and world views.

I didn't really feel that much chemistry but she is a nice girl. Hopefully not too "nice" though. Let me just say this: dates over and, um . . . . . I'm really horny. Crap.