FF

"Why do they always ask that?"
"Ask what?"
" 'Butter and sour cream' "
"Who cares"
"I care. It's like, do I really need TWO kinds of fat on my potato?  The second one doesn't even sound appetizing.  SOUR cream?  Sour means bad in my book."

"Given a choice who would choose these bacon bits over the real kind"
"They're crunchy."
"So is gravel!"
"But I don't eat gravel, except for when I was a kid..."
"That's not the point.  Point is choosing fake bacos over real ones is like choosing to have sex with a blow up doll instead of you wife."
"actually I know a lot of people who would choose that.  Wait you're comparing sex to baked potato toppings?"
"I'm passionate about bacon."

Riot

 Listening: modest mouse
Drinking: warm, flat C2 from last night
wearing: something REEEEEEEEEEEEEALLy smelly, bout to take a shower.
feeling: The can is half full



YOU ARE THE LAZY WARRIOR! It is 2034. 9:00pm on a
Monday. You target a mans head and SHOOT. He is
dead immediately. This is he sixth man you have
already killed in the last 5 minutes. You look
around, a fellow of yours gets shoot. You bend
down and try to target the soldier who had shot
your fellow . But before you can shoot ,
somebody else shoots at you. A continue screen
appears. DAMN, you shout , I hate this game!
You try to calm down because you dont want to
destroy the controller or the keyboard again.
Your profession isyou dont care about it. You
never really needed to be rich as long as you
had enough money for television , games food
and maybe beer. You do what you want. And that
is to be lazy and have fun. Maybe you have a
poor wife or a poor husband who is cleaning
after you. Whatever, the last years made you
tired, and maybe you will stay like this your
whole live. There are just a few moments where
you forget your laziness-when you are with your
friends.this can only happen if the world still remains in
2034!!!!!Do you like your future life? If not, think about
it. If yes, stay how you areDo not forget to rate!!!!

Think once about the future: how will you end up in 30 years? Will you like what you see?PICS, 9 LONG RESULTS!!!
brought to you by

NPFN

HOOK

OJ
NTnSGA

reHe

Postage In a Bloggle

I just finished eatin a delicious ice cream cone from Sheridans.  Oh, sorry it's fro yo or custard.  Yummy.  Anywho, I also watched Blast From The Past.  Good movie, very funny also sweet.  I bet this was a good date movie when it was in theaters.  I wish I had a date.  I'd sell my soul to hook up with some hottie. *waits for it* okay fine, I wasn't serious anyway (plus in Bedazzled God said you couldn't sell your soul).  Relationships are the kind of thing you have to make time for.  Hmmm, time.  All the time I need, ALL THE TIME I WANT!  I just had a jeyeeneus (shut up) idea.  I shall create a time machine.  It's easier than it sounds.  All you need is a Delorean and a flux capacitor.  A flux capacitor is the most important part because IT'S WHAT MAKES TIME TRAVEL POSSIBLE.  I've already taped three forks together to make one so I'm halfway finished already.  I just need the car, which I can buy once I raise more money.  Obviously my Best Buy job won't give me enough money to buy I car (I only work 5 hours a week) so I've come up with a plan to generate more income.  I saw on TV Guide today how Linkin Park sells a CD every four seconds.  All I have to do is come up with a really good song and sell it.  I'll be rich overnight.  I was also thinking I could put subliminal messages into the songs that would convince people to send me money in the mail and women to send me shoes.  Shut up, I have a fetish.  Just kidding I don't have a shoe fetish.  However, I do enjoy money.  Cold hard cash.  Bucks.  Dinero.  Benjamins.  Black gold.  Oh, I guess the last one would be oil...green gold then!  No wait, that's marijuana.  Damn ah hell screw it I'll just blow up an ATM.

I Made This!

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on Blogger.  Mostly due to a worm computer virus that has run rampant on both my computers.  So here is an update of the stuff I did, went to a lot of movies, slept a lot, and didn’t work much.  There was actually a lot of funny and on one occasion embarrassing details I could add to that.  I don’t feel like going into detail though.  Just saying that should be enough for me to remember.  I had some minor oral surgery to remove my lower third molars on the 22nd; which resulted in major discomfort.  The procedure I don’t remember because I was asleep.  I remember counting to see how long it would take for me to fall asleep and then waking up and realizing I was finished.  It’s been a few days since and my cheeks are still swollen.  My face doesn’t have the steady sloping inward feature now, it’s just like a rectangle; and it hurts.  That’s about it; this should mark my return to blogging…..again.

hxhh

shzhhs

BVB

Bitch vs Bitch: Whoever wins......we lose

I, Ho-Bot

One midget's quest for the grail.

hejedj

jjjesj

Hello?

Hello?

LSOB at the movies

Just came back from Anchorman, really good movie. I did not expect it to be this good atually. See it, you'll laugh. You'll cry, but mostly laugh.

I liked that Jack Black had a small role in it as the biker guy.

Strangely Informative

Wearing - Homer Simpson boxer shorts
Listening - Float On
Typing - very little

Today I was going to go the employee bowling party but since I havent bowled in a decade I decided not to go. Main reason I didn't leave is because one of the windows in my car is stuck down, meaning anyone can steal my car. Hopefully I'll get that fixed next week.

3 kINGS

Today I watched the movie Three Kings on TV, it was very good. I can't believe I waited this long to see it. Also got refillable 48 ounce cup from the gas station. Which means all the pop I could ever drink for 45 cents. I will treasure this in my car forever.

Gelin' like a felon

Today was extremely exciting, I woke up around noon, watched TV and purchased some Dr. Scholl’s massaging insoles, so I guess I can keep my shoes for another two years and not have to worry about any discomfort. I was hoping to go the the movies and see Michael Moore's newest mocumentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, but because Topeka is full of conservative shit heads I have to go to another town to see the film since it is not showing in any theaters here. For lunch I had a grilled cheese sandwich; it was good.

Huh?

I was bored and decided to search for stimuli on the internet; here is a link to a cool site I found, okay so it's not a link, use your imagination: http://www.adultswim.com/shows/index.html

"One man's waste is another man's...soap" - Aqua Teen Hunger Force


*drool* When I saw this picture on my home page it triggered an instant erection. The sight of nipples poking out never fail to do so. It's as if one hard body part deserves another!

More Strange Dreams

Today I dreamt that instead of white carpet my room had icing, like the vanilla icing on a wedding cake. So I spent an entire day walking around with my head to the ground eating it. People came up to talk to me and I would just mumble “uh-huh” with icing in my mouth and keep eating.

I also dreamed that I worked at Wal-Mart and on breaks I would grill plastic burgers and go swimming in my clothes. I dreamed that I had an I-pod, which was really sad because when I woke up I realized I didn’t.

Splat

I ran over a squirrel on my way to Wendy's for lunch today, that poor noble tree-rat. Hey T3 is on!

"The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest." - Henry David Thoreau

So tired

I got home at 5:00 am this morning but this is the first chance I’ve had to update my blog because I was on the road yesterday and thanks to a huge storm the power was out until a few minutes ago. I’m really glad to be back home, we spent one night in an Oklahoma City hotel and I got some sleep there but finding a comfortable position to sleep in the car was nearly impossible. There was a large fireworks display in both Oklahoma City and Dallas for Independence day. I think Dallas was a nicer town but I have one question in case any people from that city are reading this: What’s up with all the strip clubs? If you ever go to Dallas you’ll notice that all the taxis and half of all the billboards along the highway and in town have ads for “gentleman’s clubs” (why would a gentleman go to a place like that? I guess it’s better than feeling up some chick on the street.) There are hundreds, I suppose they are just making use of resources, kind of like all the oil fields we passed. There are a lot of hot women in Texas and there is also a lot of oil, so they’re using both to make money. I took about 24 pictures of the city, it looks really nice and modern and to my surprise pretty clean too, I’ll post them soon. We were worried for a while because Chris disappeared in the airport but we found him a little later in one of the shops near a terminal. Jade got to board the plane first so hopefully she got a good seat near a window so she can see when the plane lands in the U.K.

"All the long distance lines are down? What about the satellites? Is it snowing in space?"

Travel Sick

Start
Weeeeeeeeeee
WEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee
We. We we we we we we we.
We. We we we we we weeee.
Wee we wee wee we we
We. We we we we we weeee
We we wee wee we wee.
I’m spinning around in my chair.

Got home at 11:15 last night, worked suck as usual. In fact I believe it sucked even more than usual. Once again I got the “not peppy enough” speech” Though I did see many girls who were the definition of hotness with tight clingy shirts thanks to the downpour of rain we got. For like 90% of the time I had a serious full on robot chubby.



Anyway, I home now; but I’ll be leaving soon. I’ll be driving with my aunt and two cousins from Wichita, Kansas down to Dallas, Texas. From there, my cousin Jade with catch a flight to England. That seems ironic when you think about it, going to England on the freakin’-fourth-of-July. It’s going to be a very different Independence Day for me; instead of the fireworks and firecrackers and well, just fire that I looked foreword to months advance, I’ll be on the road most of the time. When I was younger Independence Day was my favorite holiday. I liked being out of school and still having a two months left, and I liked eating grilled hot dogs and hamburgers and launching rockets in my back yard. At least the time in the car will give me a distraction free environment to study for the A+ Certification exam I’ll be taking soon.

I’ve heard rumors that another terrorist attack is planned, I think people are trying their bbest not to think about it. I’m sure we have nothing to worry about, I doubt the government would allow themselves to be caught with their pants down again. Wow, that title really does suck. End ---

"I think, therefore I am." - René Descartes

Dreamscape

Ever notice how some days you remember every dream you’ve had and other days you can’t even tell if you had a dream the night before. For some reason I can actually recall my dreams today. They’re weird, as usual.

My first dream started off with me driving down a desolate road, I’m not sure where it was but it was really cold. I stopped and took some pictures with my camera, then noticed it was sowing so I got back in the car and continued driving, the light snow turned into a blizzard. After awhile I reached a hotel in some city and checked in. For some reason there was this really hot girl staying with me, and right before I fell asleep this mystery girl and I had great sex. When I woke up the next morning (not a real morning, still asleep) I was hungry and the girl told me she had ordered room service. I climbed out of bed, noticed I was still naked and went over to the closet to get some clothes. I opened the door to the closet, and hundreds of people were standing in there staring intensely at me. There were elementary school teachers, principles, my grandmother, neighbors, my mom, managers from work and the room service guy. Me and the crowd of gawking onlookers stared at each other for some time, then I took the food from the room service guy, thanked him politely and closed the closet door.

My second dream was less embarrassing but even more strange. I’m not sure if it was a continuation from the last dream or an entirely new one. Anyway, I was driving in the same car, perhaps away from the hotel were I accidentally exposed my self. I noticed a gas station and stopped to fill up the tank. I went inside to pay for the gas and when I came out these three guys were washing my car. I thought it was cool that I was getting a free auto wash so I didn’t say anything but the guy behind the counter at the station came out and started yelling at them in another language. He said that the “special” where people got free car washes with gas was over and that they were fired for being fucking idiots. The guys asked me if they could have a lift home and I said yes. They got in the back seat and I got in and started the car. As soon as I started it, I ended up on a tricycle for little kids. All three guys were sitting one on top of the other on my shoulders. I was pedaling as hard as I could up this big hill with about 600 pounds on my back. Finally I got sick of this and threw them off. Needles to say they weren’t happy. In fact they began shooting at me. Instead of just getting off and running like a smart person, I continued trying to pedal this tiny trike all the way up the hill, which was difficult because my legs were too long and the only way I could do it was with my knees against my chest. I finally got to the top of the hill when the sun was setting and I could hear crickets. I had a gun shot wound in my ass. Then I woke up.

Go See Spidey

I went to my appointment with the oral surgeon today, but it ended almost as soon as it started. I was in the chair and the assistant was putting electrodes on my chest to monitor my vitals. Then she asked me if I had anything to eat or drink in the last six hours. Before going in to the room I stopped briefly for a drink at the water fountain. She asked me how much I had to drink and I said not much. The problem is if someone has any food or drink prior to being put under they may vomit, and it could go into your lungs and kill you. It was an unlikely possibility, even with the little sip that I had, but it was still possible. That left me with only two options, reschedule the appointment or just do it with the area numbed. Of course I would still feel the initial four injections in my gum need to numb the area first. Of course, I chose to reschedule.

When I got back home around 8:00 I went back to bed and didn’t get up again till 3:30 which is really late even for me. I cleaned my room, ate dinner and later went to the mall to see Spider Man 2.

When I arrived at the theater, all of the showings were sold out except for the 9:50 one, it seemed late but I decided it was worth it and I was right! The movie got rave reviews and I understand why. It was exciting, suspenseful and funny just like the original but I think maybe a cut above, all 127 minutes were spectacular. If a third Spider Man movie is made they will have to work hard to make it better than the second. Awesome special effects like the small sun created by Doc Ock’s fusion and then his four arms. There was one guy who sat in front of me who clapped several times during the movie, I’m not sure if he was some die hard spider man fan or just trying to be obnoxious, probably both. He cheered during the train scene. Once again the audience was treated to views of Kirsten Dunst’s rack, nipples and everything. I wonder if the director is making a point of this, he probably turns on the set’s AC then dumps water on her. The elevator part was funny. If you’re looking for a fun film to see this movie I recommend Spider Man 2 wholeheartedly 10/10.

“Oh yes, thank you dan. Trust no one EXCEPT for us. Zoltan!” – Dude Where’s My Car

"Happy birthday dear Daniel San, happy birth day to you." - The Karate kid