What Dreams Did Come

Ever have a dream, wake up and think "that was weird" then fall back asleep and have an even stranger dream. This morning I did, and they were so bizarre they stuck with me. The first one involved me taking a road trip with Phillip, Brent and Ty in a robin's egg blue care that was shaped like a semi-circle. We drove along a highway that was more like a roller coaster or crazy straw with nothing but crass and cows on both sides. Finally we reached our destination, a fast food restaurant similar to the Launch Pad, we ordered 300000 cheeseburgers and loaded them into the back of the car through a hatchback like compartment.
I woke up, said to myself "that was strange." Then fell back to sleep.
This time around I dreamt that a horrible volcano erupted (because that happens so often in Kansas) and everyone was evacuated to one side of town. My family, both halves of it (now you know it was a dream) were together in the old crappy mall lying in sleeping bags. I told everyone I was going back to our house [across the river of molten lava] to rescue our cat Jake who we had forgotten in the laundry room. In reality or dream-reality I suppose, I just wanted to take advantage of the situation by looting stores and homes. So I guess in dream world I'm a felon. Stranger still huh? Or is it. . . . .

"There are no facts, only interpretations." —Friedrich Nietzsche

Television Heaven

Wow, when did ABC get good? I've watched it for about three hours now. Alias, Lost and Eyes all good shows and all in row. If it weren't for Comedy Central and Sci-Fi I might actually consider giving up cable. I've found great stuff to watch on nearly every channel at one time or another but those two are my favorites. Also, reception here sucks.

"If the wind will not serve, take to the oars." - latin proverb

Beer Cake 3000

I actually meant to type Beef Cake but I decided to leave it as Beer because I thought that a cake made with beer would be funny, as well as disgusting. Today I decided to begin a vigorous work out regimen. To get things started, I decided to take some performance enhancers. I heard these two guys who play baseball at my school talking and I asked one of them if he knew where I could get some steroids. They both got really pissed off and I'm lucky I didn't get my ass kicked. I've heard rumors about steroids shriveling your genitals but the way I figured, since my cock is so fucking ginormus already it could stand to shrink a few inches. I thought that I could take a little then just work out a lot to maintain my new physique and discontinue use. It's not as if I'd need to continually improve scores or anything once I reached my desired size and I don't think I have an addictive personality. Perhaps it is for the best that I couldn't find any though, maybe steroids would have had an adverse side effect when mixed with some of the medications I'm currently on, I don't know I'm no doctor, but I guess it's really not experimenting with.

Note 2 Self

produce Pacman TV show

"put your penis on the slab, i'm gonna make you a star" - The Hollow Men

Weee

I just finished cleaning up mountains of bubbles in our kitchen. I filled up the dishwasher with way too much soap, and while I was watching The Breakfast Club the thing over flowed. There were mounds of bubbles so high that they came up to my waist. Instead of cleaning them up (cleaning up soap?) which is a lot more challenging then it sounds I should have just opened a night club like those one you see on TV, you know where the girls are all soapy. . . . and stuff. That way I could have made up for all the fun I didn't have during Spring break. Despite all the foamy soap and hot water I still managed to find a pepperoni stuck to a pizza pan with cheese; it still tasted great even after being washed! Oh, my life is so exciting!

http://www.blueroadrunner.com/foamparty.htm

Eating Easter

I was too exhausted from our trip to go to church bright and early like I had planned, and after an un comfortable sleep in my sleeping bag (there were not enough covers on my bed so slept inside the bag, under the covers and strted getting all sweaty) I woke up around 11:00 then started working on me English paper, and I didn't stop until.....about thirty minutes ago actually. I did take a break from work to eat a huge elaborate family dinner around 4:00 (REALLY early for dinner, infact you can hardly call it dinner, I'd say supper). I taped the Simpsons and Arrested Development while I worked and now I'm about to enjoy Alien Apocalypse (the king of B movies starring the king of B actors), Crazy/Beautiful and The Shadow. *sigh* Kirsten Dunst's nipples.....in that tiny tiny "shirt" lol nipples.

"Jon, did you know that for the price of one trip to Lebanon you can get your OWN Martha-Center-2600. . .or two Martha-Center-1300s?" - The Daily Show

Sat er dai

Mom and I went to Wichita today to visit Grandpa and Grandma, my grandparents I mean. Liz's grandmother Audean is actually already staying with us and mine would be too except my grandmother isn't quite as mobile, and grandpa needs to stay home to take care of her. I did my AP Chem home work in the car and on the cluttered table and my gradparent's house while mom cleaned. Mr. Anderson pisses me off, it said at the top of the take home test that it should only take 2 hours to do, fuck it took me like 6! I kept getting distracted. I think if I see the words reaction order, disproportionation, or integrate again I going to vomit. Oh hey, I just did. Looks like Pizza Hut's pepperoni trio from lunch.

Interesting fact of the day: Pizza Hut was started in Wichita, now they proudly serve E. coli covered in topping all over the world.

TGIF - Tell Greg I Farted

Well, it's Friday. Thank god for that. I just finished all my the French home work I had for spring break but I still need to study for the AP exam some more. I've made up acronyms to help me memorize certain things, like all the verbs that use forms of etre (sorry don't know how to type accented characters) instead of avoir. Though some of the acronyms are really long and not that easy to recall. Everyone thinks I'm stupid because I took French instead of Spanish. Based upon my recent experiences at Best Buy I'm beginning to think they're right. Okay I would type more but I'm going to reward myself for doing home work by watching Battlestar Galactica's season finale.

Flush This

We have just had new marble counter tops installed in the kitchen at Dad's house as well as a shiny new stainless steel sink. There's just one thing that bothers me. The plumber guy went poop in my bathroom. It shouldn't be a big deal. Oh, but it is, generally I'm the only one who uses the downstairs bathroom so I was shocked and a little disturbed actually to see this guy coming out zipping up. It's almost like finding out that your wife cheated on you.

More Tangible Stuff

I just bought Keane's CD, it's pretty good. I heard that testing is complete for The Matrix Online so I'm already eagerly awaiting. Though I must admit I'm a little scared, the last time I got into a MMOG (The Sims Online, Star Wars Galaxies)it nearly took over my life. Unless you have a lap top you can set on top of a treadmill buying games like those put you at risk for becoming a geeky lard ass. After that, the next step is Ever Quest.

The PSP

The new Portable Play Station is coming out tomorrow. I got a demonstration of it at work today. It's pretty cool. It can play mini DVDs (which I hope become more mainstream), MP3s, MP4s, it's got a digital camera and it's rechargable. Bad ass. Here's the downside, it cost $250.00, maybe a little less with my discount. Is it worth it? Probably; but at the moment it's not something I can afford, especially seeing as how I'm about to have my car repaired which will cost almost exactly my entire bank account. Oh well, I wouldn't have had time to play it anyway. I hardly have time to right this. In fact, I don't. Bye.

Goodies

The new Portable Play Station is coming out tomorrow. I got a demonstration of it at work today. It's pretty cool. It can play mini DVDs (which I hope become more mainstream), MP3s, MP4s, it's got a digital camera and it's rechargable. Bad ass. Here's the downside, it cost $250.00, maybe a little less with my discount. Is it worth it? Probably; but at the moment it's not something I can afford, especially seeing as how I'm about to have my car repaired which will cost almost exactly my entire bank account. Oh well, I wouldn't have had time to play it anyway. I hardly have time to right this. In fact, I don't. Bye.

Alive & Twitching

It's always better on holiday, so much better on holiday. Right?

Today I rented The Incredibles, Alfie, and AVP. I'll get back to you with details. Same for the rest of those posts that I left unfinished.

Imperfect Purchase

work sucks. it really does.

Quiz. Take. Ok.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/leonardo/thinker_quiz/

You are an Intrapersonal thinker
Intrapersonal thinkers:
Spend a lot of time thinking about and trying to understand themselves
Reflect on their thoughts and moods, and work to improve them
You understand how your behaviour affects your relationships with others

Like intrapersonal thinkers, Leonardo worked hard to improve all aspects of himself. Other Intrapersonal thinkers include
Sigmund Freud, Gandhi, Grahame Greene

Careers which suit Intrapersonal Thinkers include
Psychologist, Teacher, Pilot, Child care worker, Explorer, Drama therapist

I like Pyschologist and Pilot, and Explorer. I've even considered professor. However, Child care worker? No fucking way. What's a "Drama therapist?"

The Hottest of The Hot

At work Brent, Henry and I were discussing how the vast majority of the female co-workers we have are attractive females (customers also repeatedly mention this) Jared F. said something about while interviewing prospective new employees that attractiveness was a factor he considered. I think he regretted mentioned that. Although he didn't say anything he ought to; even if it's true, that's not really the kind of thing you want people knowing. Studies have shown that better-looking people also generally have better paying jobs. The guys at work are generally pretty good looking too. No, I'm not gay. But you can tell, I guess that should make me feel good about myself. Apparently I'm one of the "beautiful people". It does wonders for my confidence, really. As do all the winks on my Match profile. *Sound of head swelling*
Anyway, the talk got me thinking -here's a list of the ladies I wish I worked with - If these women put on a blue shirt and name tag I'd have switched to full time months ago!

1. Jessica Alba
2. Aria Giovanni
3. Beyonce Knowles
4. Angelina Jolie
5. Hale Berry
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Elizabeth Hurley
8. Tia Carrera
9. Carmen Electra
10. Elisha Cuthbert

I really should make room for Vanessa William, Britney Spears and Ashley Simpson but it is a top ten list you know so . . . . .Actually scratch Ashley Simpson; but I'd still do her. I was going to add links to pictures of all the women I listed above, but that requires links and well, links take work. I am the LSOB afterall what did you expect? Just use Google image search and shut up. Oh yeah, Natalie Portman should probably go in there too.

I've heard rumors that Playboy made a Women of Wal-Mart issue. I pray this isn't true. I don't know what the Wal-Mart in your town is like, but Moose and other large hairy beasts employ the one here.

One Less Assignment

I killed my chemistry book. I was trying to put my stuff in Mom's car so I could work on it while we went to Manhattan but the door was locked so I just left it on top of the car in the luggage rack. Why would anyone lock their car inside the garage? I went inside to get the keys and Mom and I started talking; I decided it would be easier for me to just stay home and do my work.

So she left, a few minutes later while I was looking for my homework I got a call from her and suddenly realized to my horror what had happened. I ran outside and found my notebook lying in the middle of the street with papers blowing away in every direction. I scrambled to pick them up and after a while I think I finally got them all. While I was doing this, an old couple drove by then slowed down, laughed at me, and drove off. I didn't see the license plate so I guess from now on I'll just have to egg every champagne colored Buick I see.

Mom returned later and thankfully she was able to rescue my AP Chem. book which had blown off the car on the highway at about 80 mph, then got ran over by a truck. Despite this, it wasn't in too bad of condition, I spent about an hour super gluing pages back and gluing the over on exactly where it had been torn off (I lived up all the cracks and tears precisely) I used glue because it was less obvious then tape and I was determined to get the $10 back at the end of the year from the school. Everyone said that the glue would leak, the pages would get stuck together and would make things worse but it turned out fine. Glue only does that if you're not careful with it, of course I did get the cap on the tube stuck to my fingernail, but in time it fell off.

CELLULAR conundrum

Some Guy: Hey
Me: Hi
Some Guy: What are you doin'?
Me: Watching TV.
Some Guy: So you're just sitting on the couch listening to the message I left you.
Me: No.
Some Guy: Oh I thought I heard the message
Me: No, TV.
Some Guy: Listen to the fucking message!
Me: What message?
Some guy: Are you drunk? The message I just left you a few minutes ago!
Me: Who is this?
Some Guy: God you're fucking stupid! Aaron!
Me: . . . . . I think you have the wrong number.
Some Guy: Uh, who's this?
Me: Nathan.
Some Guy: Oh, sorry. *click*

The only reason I talked to him as long as I did was because he sounded like Derrick, his voice was maybe a little deeper but I thought it was just the phone. I should have pretended I was this guy just for the hell of it. Asked what the message was about or say something like I went down on his Mom that would have been funny.

Stuff That Might Not Be Of Interest

Nothing really new is happening in my life, I'm still working hard trying to balance work, school and my fading social life. I had a nice chat with Selma, she seemed really affectionate and told me that she had just broken up with her long term boyfriend. Without directly saying it we both agreed we were too damn busy to enter into a relationship at the moment (she was filling out a college AP and some scholarship info at the time). When I'm not at work or school I feel that my need for companion ship is fulfilled by my friends and mostly, Mr. TV. She also wants to go to colleges on the opposite of the country that I do so what's the point of getting together for a few measly months; Besides, I'm still strongly attracted to a certain some one. So yeah, I have finally made up my mind. Come June I will be leaving Kansas forever, I have my sights set on California or Washington State. I'm brushing up on Chemistry, French and Psychology in hopes of passing AP tests. With any luck I'll have an entire semester of college under my belt by high school graduation.

I invented a new food today, it's a hotdog inside of a taco shell instead of a hot-dog bun. It combines the best of Mexican and American cuisine. So, any takers? LOL.

Weird Science

Today in AP Chem we did a funtastic lab involving molar concentration and light absorbency. Using a spectrophotometer we were to determine the rate of reaction, rate constant etc. We used Cl2 and a colored liquid for the experiment. After collecting the data, one member of the group was supposed to bring their calculator to the front of the class so the group's data could be downloaded and printed out on a graph. This left me alone and well, there was a long line.....ADD kicked in and I just had to see what would happen if another liquid was used instead. I hacked a loogie into the cuvette and ran it through a red light in the spectrophotometer. The result? 0.8 something. Hmm, not quite as see through as distilled water but not as opaque as I thought it would be. I guess there wasn't much mucus in it. I thought I had gotten away with my little experiment but Jackie caught me. I was afraid she would tell on me but she just stood in the corner with her hands over her mouth giggling.

Note: this post was named after the 1980s movie Weird Science. You should check it out if you have the time. Don't worry, it's much more fascinating than an hour and a half of guys spitting in flasks and test tubes. It's about two buds who create their own girlfriend (maybe concubine is a more appropriate word) using sciencey stuff. It's not very realistic, but it's funny. There also used to be a show on U.S.A. in the 90s by the same name but with different actors. It came on after Duckman.... and I think it was the first show on TV to ever give me a stiffy. Weird Science that is, not Duckman.

"Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there." - Yakov Smirnoff

Quoi?

Ben is gay? No f'n way!

Glitchy

Political Panorama

lengthy post coming soon

Eeeeeek!

*screams like a little girl* Oh my- OH
God
geez
omg
I JUST SAW THE TRAILER FOR STAR WARS EPISODE III
I mean, I think I did, maybe I dreamed it, it couldhave been a dream couldn't it?!
Oh my god oh my dog. Log. SWE3
explosions
wookie
gahhhahahahah

Yeah. Star Wars.

Alternative Incomes

I really hate my job. I wonder is there is anyone in the world who doesn't? Hate their job, I mean. I requested a transfer from the check out lanes to Geek Squad or Computers (the sections I originally applied for) but my request was denied because the company had already appointed new employees to fill all the new positions. That's bull shit; they should give the employees who have been busting their ass at the store for a year already first choice of new positions. Jen's lame excuse was that they had already begun training, gimmie a break. I saw what their one day of training consisted of, a tour around the store with free 20oz bottles of pop at the end. Hmm, seems rigorous.....I can see why you wouldn't want to have to start over now.

I considered quitting and getting a job at Wal-Mart but let's face it Wal-mart is even more busy than Best Buy, plus the people stink. I'm not saying they are bad employees I'm saying that the customers and employee's literally smell like livestock. I can't remember the last time I went to Wal-Mart (even just a short trip for cheaper candy I could sneak into the movies) when I was not overcome with the overwhelming stench of Mr. McSweaty Man or PWT Pam and her uncleansed vagina in front of me. One cashier, this retarded chick, smelled so bad it nearly floored me. So even if I could get a job a Wal-Mart (unlikely) I would have to face hordes of customers and gross working conditions daily. However, at least I wouldn't have to hear: "This is supposed to Best Buy? I can get two for the same price at Wal-Mart! I'm going over there." like I care.

This girl at WU, has offered to pay me $150 to write her Freshman Composition paper, I'm tempted. Very tempted. I told her I'd think about it but I do have my own work to do. I promised I'd help her on some work tomorrow, but I decided not to charge seeing as how Jackie helped me with some AP Chemistry back at High and I would be screwed if she had asked me to pay up.

I'd prefer Hastings but you have to be 21 to work there and my last three applications got rejected. Reality check is I need the money for the future, specifically surviving college without having to ask stingy Dad or bargain with bitchy mom for money. I need some way that I can survive at least to some degree on my own. This is one of my few, and frankly the best option I have right now. I did learn something from my retail experience though, I really need to go to college. If there was ever any doubt in my mind it's gone now. I could not bear to do this crap the rest of my life, plus I'm materialistic and need more stuff . . . . . And it would be a shame to waste such a great mind on scanning bar codes.

Toga

Last year I had Warts (oddly appropriate name) for Algebra 2, after that she quit and I thought I'd never see her again. Wrong, she only left the high school. I saw her today at my college in the classroom next door, apparently she got hired as a professor. That's kind of scary, I could have her for math again next year.

We did a cool experiment in AP chem, we used a catalyst to grow some pretty big crystals from a super saturated solution. It was cool.

"Bionicle: Master the Ratooka Spinnah!"