WATT-MISER

Well it looks like I won't be getting around to those updates like I planned. I have to study for finals and Advanced Placement Tests and do papers etc.

I'm studying really hard, I watched Dead Man On Campus. I can't believe I never realized how funny this movie was before.

"How come whenever I'm on fire, I remember to stop, drop, and roll? " - Cliff

A Series of Decent DVD "Rentals"

I rented Donnie Darko again as well as In Good Company. You see I have rules when I go to my neighborhood movie rental store:
1. Don’t come home with only videos you have seen before (wait AT LEAST 3 months damn)
2. Don't choose a movie just because "you like who's in it"
3. ALWAYS watch the movie the very day you get it and bring it back the next for the 50-cent discount.
4. If there are two versions, get the directors cut.
5. Buy snacks at Wal-mart instead because Blockbuster and Hastings will rip you off, though exceptions can be made in rare candy instances. I.E. Sour Patch Kids or the tubs of popping corn.

The list goes on actually, imagine a guy with pointy shoes unfurling a long yellowed scroll that goes down stairs and outside. I have them memorized because they are very simple, logical rules and somehow everyone else that rents DVDs never seem to follow them. Oh yeah Dad, GET THE DVD not the VHS. What is this the fucking '80? Anyway yeah, Derrick rented The Butterfly Effect and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle even though we seen them both more than once . . . recently.

So while at the store, I didn't want to come home with just Donnie Darko. Yes it was the directors cut which wasn't available last time but that still doesn't qualify as a new movie for me. I picked up In Good Company to make things right. I initially had no desire to see it because the film was marketed as a being more low brow than it truly was. However after browsing and reading summaries it was the only I hadn't seen that I felt I could stomach.

I was shocked. GREAT MOVIE! It's not moronic or chick-flick-ish at all. Maybe a little but it's pardonable; give it a chance you'll like it. Dad would have liked it too if only for the "office politics" story.

It's been a while

Very busy but I have some rough drafts saved for each day I skipped so I'll have those updates up soon. I'm making this post mostly because I just wanted to use the following quote:

"Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers." - Cigarette Smoking Man, X-Files

The Search Is On

Decided to start looking for a new job today, if I find one I’ll probably quite here. I hate the customers so much. I really do, they’re just that stupid and it’s like 3,000 against 1! I went to the movie theaters to fill out an app but I couldn’t remember all the information I needed so I ended up just chatting with Gillian who works there, like many people at our school. She told me the movies were not hiring anyways and that they had a huge stack of apps already. She also told me that Tanya, my potential prom date, had gotten pregnant by some 25-year-old man. So I guess IÂ’m lucky that my default date has not called me to confirm dinner plans or anything. Though I suppose there would be some advantages, as Gillian put it "You could fuck her as much you want and not have to worry about getting her pregnant!" Yeah. Right. The thought of having sex with a pregnant person is creepy, especially when someone who was not even allowed to watch MTV, or PG-13 movies until she was 14 gives the idea to you. Where did she even find the gutter to get her head stuck in? She is one gossipy girl.

You KNOW you're Pathetic When.....

After watching a grainy tape of Buck Rogers in the 24th Century on your ghetto VCR, you spend over an hour online searching for PediaSure coupons to make your addiction more affordable.

OH, I am SO ALONE! *chugs more of hiss step-sis' pediasure*


member that Lesbian Seagul song?
la la laaa

I'm Never Having Kids

Once everyone left Elle immediately declared, "I can do whatever I want" and started throwing random objects against the room. She's obviously just doing it for attention. I'd sure love to give her my special brand of attention but Marty and Mom are stupid and not giving me the authoritah I need to police this little gremlin. If she were my kid she'd git a three-hour spanking with a splintery two-by-four.

Counterfit Operation

At work Brent has infromed me of a clever way to make money on the side. I'm sure that I'll see a public service announcement about it admist movie previews soon though. If the carpenter isn't getting his share of the profit I'm sure the actors won't mind giving him some $$$ to make up for his loss.

NX-01 Go Bye Bye

I can't believe they are actually going to cancel Star Trek: Enterprise. Someone is going to die for this! I hope the Series finale will be good. And of course, I'll always hold out hope that anohter network will pick it up. Though I am still waiting for Sliders..... sigh. One miracle at a time.

Make It Stop

The Worst Buy customers really are stupid. The sign said you get a free calendar when you purchase The Incredibles DVD AND you have an RZ membership. It wasn't even in fine print or anything. All they had to do was just finish reading the fucking sentence. Instead I have customers coming up and complaining to me for several minutes about why they should be allowed to get the stupid cartoon calendar. I even have to call my manager for this shit sometimes. Damn.

"Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer." - Clerks

Pimp MY Ride

I'm watching MTV's Pimp My Ride. Now days it seems they can put anything into cars. DVD players, turntables, popcorn machines, bubble blowers, movie projectors, digital cameras etc. My question is: how come no one has put a toilet in their car? I mean, how awesome would that be. The next time you were on a road trip instead of pulling over at a rest stop you could just go right there. The waste would either be stored in a septic tank in the trunk or just dropped out on the road behind you. Even cooler if they could find a way to burn the shit as an energy source. Then the car would pay for itself.

"I got two turntables and a microphone - Where it's at!" - Beck

"I like gold!" - Xzibit quoting the movie Goldmember

Mankind's Most Boring Blog

I could not think of a title for this post, so after careful consideration of today's events I have decided to title this: Mankind's Most Boring Blog. I think it just might be.

Okay, with that explanation out of the way, time to type how did I spent the day. I did not do much. I got my hair cut, the final one I will receive from my barber because tomorrow she is moving to Kentucky. Um lets see what else. . . . Watched TV. I saw parts of the movies Congo and most of Solaris. I also attempted to play guitar again for the first time in about two months; I've completely lost what little talent I had before. My mom ordered the announcements for my high school graduation. I could have gotten a class ring too, but what's the point? I'm not really the jewelry type, it would just be a waste of money. The most exciting thing I did today was read magazines. I read Technology Review and Men's Journal.

That's about it. Oh yeah, and I organized my wallet.

What Happened?

Not much of interest happening now. Just homework mostly, I have a 78% AP Chem, so close to a B *sigh* I've decided to do the extra credit project to boost my grade up to a B if that's possible. French class is going surprising well, thanks in part to sitting next to Jackie and talking to the exchange student. I was disappointed with my English portfolio though, I thought I had done a really good job on it and he said something along the lines of "The bare minimum wouldn't suffice at universities." He gave me back my papers with plenty of black ink (don't they usually use red?) and gave me the opportunity to redo and resubmit them on Friday. Hey said that I was "a smart kid", I always wonder why people say that. Unless I'm with someone who is clearly a moron I never feel brainy, maybe they say it because they think I'm stupid and they don't want to discourage me further. Or maybe I'm being paranoid; maybe both?

I finally got around to watching Sideways, I had planned to watch it with Dad seeing as how he likes wine so much but he fell asleep too early and I needed to bring it back the next day for a $1.00 credit towards my next rental. I can't believe how early he goes to be d now, and how early he gets up. It may be a sign of old age. . . . . Anyway, perhaps it's best he didn't see it. They dissed Merlot, which occupies 1/3 of Dad's collection. I got tired of seeing peoples (just MEN actually) pale hairy asses in the air every 20 minutes too. There were some relatively attractive women in the movie but unless you like fat chicks you're going to be disappointed with the sex scenes.

Sideways was funny but not funny in your typical movie sort of way. It's more like your friend just told you a funny story that about what happened to him last weekend. You won't laugh your ass off if you rent it but you're sure to smirk. The person who played Miles' mother was perfect. She reminded me of my grandmother, and probably every middle aged person's mother. Very stereotypical. Seeing Paul Giamatti & Thomas Haden Church together felt like watching a sequel to Miami Vice in which Phillip Michael Thomas became white and Don Johnson had aged significantly.

It's unlikely I'll have much time to watch TV, rent or go to movies in a while. High School is almost finished (wow) and I intend to finish strong. Second semester is traditionally the time of year when I drop the 'L' from my key name (Get it? Like pen name except key cuz...yeah) LSOB, and just become a SOB. In some cases, a HWSOB hard working son of a blogger. Though such instances are rare.

Feel The Force, For $120.

We set up the glowing lightsaber display at Best Buy today, customers and employees alike could not resist wielding it. It was a dream come true. When I was a kid Star Wars was being RE - released in movies for my generation to enjoy (and to prepare for Episodes I-III). My friends and I bought the toys and played with them at recess and at sleep overs. There were action figures, space ships, legos, and of course light sabers. But the lightsaberz I grew up with were just plastic handles with sequentially smaller plastic cones that slid out when you waved it around. I think some might have had a flash light underneath the cones. This newest collectible on display at Best Bui is more like the real thing. Instead of cones it's more like a fluorescent light in a chrome handle. It lights up in segments and makes wooshing and static like sound effects when you wave it around or smack something with it. It doesn't burn or cut things but it's still better than the toys we had. Too bad it costs over a 100 bucks. Even with my discount it's still about $70. Maybe after the movie comes out it will be cheaper. Marketers probably want to give die hard geeks the chance to make it part of their costume on opening day. Just out of curiosity I looked for a Darth Vader costume on the web, I found a pretty decent one for about $94. Who knows, I may just join those nerds camping outside when the movie opens.

Depends on if I go to Prom really, that will be the factor in deciding whether or not I'm willing to go blow some more hard earned cash (I'm still reeling from auto repairs). At the moment it looks like I may be attending prom. I was casually conversing with Tanya about it at work. She mentioned she was going but hadn't found a date yet. I jokingly asked if she wanted to go with me, she said yes. Sixth grade me would have had a heart attack if he knew this. 12th grade me, not so much. Once you get to know Tanya it's easy to realize why a hot sexy girl like her doesn't seem to date anymore. She's a bitch. There isn't a compassionate bone in her entire body. Back in middle school when I was enamored with her I think I asked her out once and she laughed at me, said I was annoying and called me a dork. I find it ironic that now, that I'm no longer interested she seems to be. We exchanged numbers to help plan the occasion, I've decided that if she doesn't call me back I'm not going to bother.

Brent: That thing is awesome, they need to get the red one out too so we can have a battle.
Jared: You mean the Darth Vader edition? They won't do that, this one kid started attacking one of the managers when we gave him one.
Me: Why do they call him Darth Vader. I used to think it was Dark, because he wore black. Then found out it Darth and assumed it was a title like Dr.
Jared: Dr. Vader?
Me: But Vader isn't his last name. It's Skywalker.
Brent: Hey, yeah! I never thought of that...

It wasn't until I was driving home that night that I realized Darth Vader is a title more like Prime Minister than Dr.; hence the Vader part

Hey look, a post!

I had a nightmare this morning that scared the crap out of me. I dreamt (nightmared?) that I was in another car accident, this one was not my fault but because I did not speak up and talk to the police officer he gave me a $1000.00 ticket and bought the woman who crashed into me a brand new red mustang. My car was totaled, then at some point I acquired a crappy old minivan. I parked on the side of the street and as soon as I got out the drivers' side was ripped off by a passing 18-wheeler. That girl who looks like Molly Ringwald and sat next to me in Honors gov. made a cameo in my dream, I think just as a passing sex object though.
Guy: That salad is adorable.
Me: Salad is adorable?
Guy: Meg says the cuter food is the better it taste.
Me: Really?
Meg: Yep.
Me: What about rabbits?
Meg: Them too!
Me: Didn't you used to have a pet rabbit?
Meg: Yep. Used to.
Me: If you like cute food go to subway, and try their new Toasted Teriyaki Baby Sub.

LSOB: At The Movies -Sahara-

Rating: 4/5
It’s been awhile since I’ve had the opportunity to go to the movies but today with a lot of work behind me I decided to celebrate. We (Mom actually agreed to come with me, strange) went to the brand new 14 theaters that opened about a week ago, so everything inside was still clean and not covered with sticky substances. The chairs were like big reclines with cup holders on BOTH sides and the seating was more like that in a stadium as opposed to the gently slopping hill that I’m used to. Also there were no holes in the ceiling, another first for Topekaa. It’s almost worth devastating the woodlands that used to be there, that I used to run through in cross-country. The whole area surrounding the theater now looks like one big scar on the earth, with “For Sale” signs everywhere.

Back to the movie, we saw Sahara, and I must admit I enjoyed it. I did not think that I would, recently adventure films have kind of gone down hill. Sure there are more explosions, and more hot chicks (if you think Penelope Cruz is hot . . .) but I can’t help but feel as if less effort has gone into the writing or maybe the genre was just getting stale. Tomb Raider comes to mind, great actress, so-so movie.

Sahara was a breath of fresh air. Fresh, dry, arid air. In this exciting film Mr. Pointy Head plays an Indiana Jones-ish character and Steve Zahn (the Saving Silverman guy) plays a stereotypically yet strangely bearable wacky side kick. Together this dynamic duo searches for a civil war iron sides ship that somehow made it across the Atlantic to Africa. The ship is supposedly carrying golden coins minted by the confederacy. The story changes a little when they meet a World Heath Organization (WHO?) doctor with a really irritating accent. She is trying to help save people from an unknown illness that is spreading across Africa and determine it’s source.

I hate to pull a third grade book report on you guys but “I don’t want to give away the ending.” It’s probably what you would expect but it’s worth seeing for yourself anyway. It’s a funny movie but doesn’t go overboard by being too goofy like national Treasure did. Out of five asses, this movie kicked four. Go see it. Even just for the cinematography.

An Unusually Good Day

My car has been repaired and it did not cost nearly as much as I thought it would. "Just" $500. Also, I finally completed this hellish English portfolio for my college class. I suppose it would not have been so bad if I had not procrastinated. This time, lesson learned! I've got a little bit of homework dans francais et in AP Chem but nothing that will ruin my weekend. I was even given the opportunity to do a pH and pOH lab for extra credit. My prized Victorinox backpack has also been repaired so I can go back to stuffing it full of 50 pounds worth of books and materials.

It's that time of the year again, you can't enter the school without hearing someone mention the prom, teachers included. I'd like to spend time with Selma but I don't want to ask her to the prom because I don't want to go; I'd rather do something else. However I think she'll be disappointed if I do that. Last year I asked her the day before and she couldn't go with me because she already made plans with three of her friends. Hopefully this year she will go with them again, and we can just attended the post-prom. It was created a few years ago, I suspect as a way to prevent highschoolers from having infamous hotel parties. Basically it's just an event later that last until about 1 or 2 AM and gives students the opportunity to win expensive prizes from contest, drawings, and competitions etc. You don't need to wear a tuxedo to it and it's a lot cheaper I think so that would be my choice of entertainment. Of course you can't ask a girl out by saying "Let's do this instead; it costs less." so I'm waiting for her to make other plans for prom first.

Miscellaneous Stuff That I don't Have A Title For

I saw one of my favorite classic South park episodes today, it was the one when the boys found Steve aka Gorak aka Larry frozen in ice. Then they put him in a 1996 habitat with ID4, Fargo and a Reelect Clinton poster.

There was a meeting for everyone going on the French trip tonight; we got matching backpacks, so now I have something to break while I wait for my other backpack to be repaired!

I'd also like to add that the Daily Show is pure gold. There is a reason it's always listed as one of my top ten shows and that reason is it's just too damn good. I know it's a news show so it's less relevant to watch it years later, but I truly hope they will make a DVD. Today's info about the finger in the chili, cookie monster's new eating habits, and the yawning soldier during Bush's speak were nothing less than orgasmic. It's the one thing I'll truly miss while in Europe. Even if the current events are not as current on DVD it would still make an interesting documentary for my kids and to watch about the early 21st century. Assuming they will still use DVDs circa 2032. Which of course, they won't.

Get The Door, It's Pizza Hut.

Well our family had Papa John's pizza for dinner today. Except for Liz who had chicken (What the hell kind of person doesn't like pizza?! Oh well, more for me). I saw a commercial for Domino's that offered a chance to win a trip to New York. With helicopters and all sorts of cool stuff. So I entered. If I don't win at least I will have discovered a new (CHEAP!) place to get pizza. That way I'll have affordable sustenance in college. Papa John's pizza is good, because the toppings are so fresh, the pepperonis especially, but that pizza is so damn greasy I get a stomach ache after only three slices.

I originally created this post to review all the pizza places in town but I'm tired and there just way WAY too many.....Like, 6.

Bad Will Hunting

I went to the public library today, or "ly-berry" as the illiterate redneck next to me at the checkout counter called it. It's kind of sad really, it seems like the only people who come to the library now days are hobos/poor people who need to check their e-mail, old men looking for comfortable places to read the newspaper and date old women. I don't read as much as I would like to and when I do I usually purchase the book. This was evident when I approached a librarian to update my card info [address etc.] and discovered I owed $12.00 for never returning a book about Mir checked out in 1999. I had forgotten all about my old obsession with past, present, and future space stations. I had chosen to write a research paper about them (the only reason I visit the library; that, and to get cat calls from Hispanic and Black chicks).

Anyway, while visiting this modern facility and facilitator of knowledge two things sparked my interest: Above each computer terminal is a warning to people (teenage guys, and older pedophiles, I assumed) warning them that it is prohibited to view nudity using the web browsers and that internet usage is closely monitored (Oooh, how 1984). Anyone that does commit this heinous act would be prosecuted and have their library privileges revoked, those 17 and under would have their parents called. I noticed a cute blonde girl with handlebars, maybe in her early twenties, get approached by a cop. She was escorted to the security room with a worried look on her face. I was shocked, first of all because she was a she. Secondly because she looked so [stereotypically] innocent; she was tattoo, piercings, and underarm hair free. She returned a few minutes later smiling nervously, the police offer whispered something to her that sounded like a warning judging by the tone of his voice. The girl returned the computer and continued whatever she was doing. I suppose it's possible she wasn’t busted for looking some dude's ass or lesbian sex but I'm nearly convinced I proof of female porn viewage.

The other thing that caught my attention was an article on CNN.com about hunting cats. Not bobcats or mountain lions, regular old house cats. Normally when I hear about hunting I'm angered. Three things govern my feelings towards hunting, which are generally negative: 1. Conservational attitude. 2. Animal attractiveness. 3. Sense of morality. In that order; I would jump at the chance to protect algae if I knew it was a vital part of some ecosystem & endangered by development, pollution etc. I would be even more persuaded to save an animal like Elephants, or Kangaroos, or Wolves from hunting or habitat destruction. Finally, I don't like the idea of killing things in general though I would to protect something or myself dear to me, and I'll stomp the shit out of a centipede, roach, or silverfish in an instant. You're probably wondering how I feel about this plan to hunt cats, the answer may surprise you: PRETTY DAMN GOOD!

I don't hate cats, but lets just say I much prefer dogs. If cats were endangered it would be a different story . . . but they're not! The world is arguably infested with "domesticated" (can you ever really domesticate a cat?) Felines. I've always wanted to go hunting but I'm uncomfortable with the idea of killing deer, and even turkeys to some extent. I've always wanted to own a gun, if just for the bragging privileges but there's not much point in me buying hunting equipment when the only thing I'd shoot is are a select few invertebrates. I also am not old enough to own, or have enough money to spend on unnecessary items like handguns.

I wouldn't mind killing a few cats but the most fun way to do so would likely be prohibited even if they did allow cat hunting here. Fun ways such as: dousing them in gas and setting them on fire; stomping; vehicular cat slaughter; using chainsaws, katanas, spears, bayonetes; bludgeoning with pipe; use of grenades. If I get to kill cats I want to do it on my own terms and not be limited to a rifle. I'm shocked at my eagerness to brutally eviscerate these animals. I guess the only cat I like is mine. I guess cats are like women; sometimes they're just too bitchy. Don't worry; I don't want to hunt women though. Yet.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/04/12/killing.wildcats.ap/index.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=handle+bars

Random Reflections of the Day

Today was busy. So very busy. I'm sinking in work. Expect a decrease in quality or a paucity of post for the next week or so. The weather became cooler today, then it rained, then it hailed, now it's warmer. Dad was hoping for hail big enough to cause roof damage. If insurance can help us pay for a new roof that would help the house sale later this year. My backpack broke under the weight of all my books and materials. I'm having it repaired rather than buying a new one. I couldn't find a backpack even close to the one that broke. Besides, my closet already looks like a backpack graveyard and this one is too cool and too new to throw away. Since it broke I was forced to use this big canvas bag with dancing teapots on it (don't ask...) geyest thing ever. *shakes head* It belongs to my step dad who collects china and crap like that. I've got just under a month of high school remaining and a few more weeks of my college English class. Meg told me that she is going to commute to college next year. My mom suggested I do that but I'm not sure if I'm willing to spend the extra money for gas. I'm also not sure if I can stand living with her another year. Financially it might make sense though, if the total driving cost less in the end than housing. Derrick has gotten a job at an oatmeal factory. I'm glad I held out on buying an Xbox, years later they're still ugly as hell and overpriced. Besides now I have money for the nextgen Xbox which should be out soon. I've heard about some really cool PSP hacks that have almost persuaded me to by the handheld more than the actual games did. I'm writing an english paper about hackers.

Okay well back to work, I skipped class today because I realized I could actually get more work done at home and just ask a friend about any new assignments.

"Life maroons the hesitant, but inspires the brave." - Thomas Dooley

The Munchies

No I didn't get high today. I am hungry though. Wouldn't mind a sub right now, with lots of spicy meat products on it. So long as it isn't from the Mister Goodcentz near Best Buy. I went there once and there were only two employees working. Two of plainest looking girls I've ever seen in my life. They were trudging around back and forth for no apparent reason; with these glazed looks in their eyes. Also, files were everywhere. It was like a scene from Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah, it was that nasty.

At work I won a free gift card to Jersey Mike's. Never been there before so I guess I'll check it out today for lunch after I view the menu online, of course (don't want to be a stander). The team that won the Hawaii Day competition last month won the honor of throwing pies in their manager of choice's face. I wasn't on the winning team so I didn't get to pick any of the vogons I would have liked to see get pied. The ones who did get pied were the nice ones, or the younger ones. I guess employees were afraid to throw pies at the managers they hated because it would reveal their feelings for them.

I don't really care though because they were not real pies. Just pans with whipped cream in them. I was hoping for apple or pumpkin fresh and piping hot from the oven. Actually I don't care about the type of pie just so long as the filling is still smoldering when it's ready to toss. A better prize would have bean to use the whipped cream as a lubricant to ass fuck the hot young employee of your choice. I would go for Erica, she kind of looks like Shania Twain only with more hair & more emo qualities. Actually now that I think about it she resembles a more curvy (slightly) version of Vi from The Incredibles. I wonder if her face would still look as bored an unenthusiastic as it always does during climaxxx.....it wasn't really like Hawaii Day either because we couldn't wear Hawaiian shirts. It's not Hawaii Day without the shirts! Fucking Vogons! I seem to have lost my train of thought.

Here's my top ten list of delis
1. Schlotzsky's
2. Quizno's
3. Jersey Mike's
4. Subway
5. Dillions
6. MG's
Okay so Top Six list, whatever. I'll add to this when I go off to college and experience new. . . Delis.

Actually the sub from Mr. G's was pretty good, New Guy split a turkey with one and I loved it. That was until I went there myself and saw the uncleanliness with my own eyes. That gross out factor places them below a grocery store Deli. Pathetic.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?" - Starship Troopers
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whipped+cream&r=f
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http://www.dillons.com/operations_grocery_about.htm
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www.thatthingonthegermanchannelwiththeanimatedeinstienmadeofatomsizfunny.dw

Averageness Conformation Test

I took the ACT again this morning (actual morning; not Nate-morning which = 10:30) a last ditch effort to improve my scores. I know that I'm getting too old for this because everyone there was either a sophomore or junior.

I made it on time but just barely I was headed down Fair Lawn when I got stuck behind this really slow woman in what was perhaps the shittiest car ever made. It was an old Yugo with deteriorating wheels, tons of dents, a plethora of tacky bumper stickers and one detail that made it look a hundred times worse. The paint, dear lord, the paint was green and it just looked like regular old house paint. It was cracked, rippled and looked as if it would simply chafe off at any given moment. Now that you can visualize her car I'll continue, she was driving down the center lane, I was right behind her. Yes, I was speeding. I was going about 15 MPH over it and she was maybe doing 5 below. I think she was lost and didn't know where to turn. I wanted to go left to the university parking lot and she seemed to want to go straight. So like any true gentleman I persuaded her to go move faster. She was not pleased. She touched on her brakes briefly, probably because she thought this was a clever way to scare me. Wrong. I floored the gas and grinned devilishly. I had called her bluff. She swerved out of the way into the right lane, I passed her and gave her a dual-handed flip off. She got back into the center lane and before turning left I saw her give me the finger. Tailgating is fun for everyone, especially when the front of your car is already FUBAR and people know you're not playing around.

I think I did okay, I probably answered 70-80 percent of each part of the exam. With the questions that I did finish I was really pleased with my answers. As soon as the prof. said "5 minutes remaining" I just started darkening ovals. You are not penalized for incorrect answers so I figured there was a 25% chance that might get one right. So best possible outcome: if all the questions I finished are correct and 1/4 of the ones I didn't are correct that will be a significant improvement form my last score where I ran out of time and decided to play games on my calculator instead (not an option this time because I lent it to the poor guy next to me who forgot his) It's okay because I didn't really need it and I wanted to help someone out. What really pissed me off was this Asian girl I sat next to initially. I hadn't separated my admission ticket from the letter yet and as I did so she yanked the letter from hands folds it and tears it off for me. Not so bad, but then she adds this snide remark "Geez you can't even do THAT right? Didn't your teacher show you how to do that in first grade?" I was about to suggest an orifice in which she could cram that ticket, and another, where she could shove her perforation separation skills. Before I had the chance she says something about the poor quality of our educational system. Damn. It's not bad enough that you people get the best scores but you have to rub it in by being an anus. Fuck off.

Anyway, I'm awaiting my scores. I've already decided what college I'd like to attend but should I decide to transfer at least I'll have something better than a 20 to work with.

pshhhhhhhhhh

What to say. . . . .hmm. Well a met with a psychologist, or psychiatrist or whatever the guy was today (psycho-something). Pretty much what you expect. Comfortable room with interesting things in it, one of those soothing little waterfall sculpture thingies, guy with strange accent. He said he had lived in Paris for a few years so I got to practice some French with him. However, I think that he is originally from Russia, or maybe Germany.

It's the most beautiful day I can recall. Warm enough to wear a t-shirt but thankfully perspiration free. Gentle breeze, very nice. Gave Rocky some exercise with an exciting game of Fetch The Pink Nylon Bone. He loves to chase it but doesn't yet get the concept of giving it back to me so I can throw it again. Or the concept of NOT soaking me in drool, dirt, and dog hair. Elle tied a balloon to him and he started freaking out. *hearty chuckle* What a lovable dumbass.

I was planning to go to the brand new movie theater and see Sarah or if that's sold out Sin City. There are some other decent ones out but I'm saving them for later in hopes that a certain someone (Hint: this someone does not have a penis; narrows it down huh?) will accompany me to them.

HEY LOOK A FREUDIAN SLIP! I typed Sarah instead of Sahara. Wow, that is genuinely amusing. I needed that.

Anyway, didn't get to see either movie because I had to study. I like school, but not when it starts to consume my life. I think now is a good time to begin counting down the days till graduation.

Oh yeah, also - note to self - buy Orgazmo DVD with discount

Dear Nathan: Congratulations!

I've been admitted to the University of Kansas this fall. At this point I'm pretty sure I will be going there as opposed to staying at Washburn. I really like Washburn, it's an excellent school; but I've lived in Topeka my whole life, and now I'm sick of it. All I need to do now is find a good place to live in Lawrence, I'll check into that this weekend.

Hey, nifty.

This site ----> http://maps.google.com is really cool. When I was younger I was obsessed with Sim City, I always tried to make a replica (well slightly better, of course) of Topeka. If this tool had existed back then it would have been perfect. You can find maps, and even cooler, satellite images. I typed in my address; the mall, the capitol, WalMart and the one for my high school then just scrolled along following the Kansas river. I also looked at views of Seattle, San Diego and Salt Lake City and other cities but the ones of home were more interesting. At a time I got angry because when I looked a New York and Chicago I kept seeing these big black blotches, then it occured to me that they were shadows from the skyscrapers! Isn't it sad that I find this so exciting? In the major cities you can zoom in so close you can see the cars on the road but for some reason you can only go in far enough to see the tops of the buildings at home. Hmm, too bad.

Uh oh, Cupid.

Spring has sprung and love is in the air, that means everywhere people are falling in love, and neutered dogs are dry humping. For me it means I will be once again weeding out poor relationship candidates. The following is a list of reasons why you probably should not contact me.

1. You are an obsessive music whore. It's great to be cultured but I don't want to spend eternity dissecting the meaning behind this flavor of the week's latest pathetic emo band. I don't want to go to concerts with you. For the most part, they suck.

2. If you're a republican. If you can't go three minutes without mentioning your Bible study group, or how you hate Bill Clinton because your Grandma screams at him on TV. 'nuff said.

3. If you're one of those girls that just sits around twiddling your thumbs. Say something interesting. Anything! I'm a good conversationalist but don't make me go solo.

4. If you are fat. No fat chicks please. I'm an active guy, I don't want a girl I have to push around in a wheel barrel.

5. If you have children. Let me make this clear, I don't want to be a father and you don't want me to be their father.

6. If you're a wigga. Just because you don't relate to your family doesn't me we will. Don't contact me if you're a pasty white girl from suburbia wearing do-rags and speaking ebonics. No I don't want to be your baby's daddy, and no I don't want to discuss how great Tupac is.

7. If you'd rather watch The O.C., or Nanny 911 instead of Battlestar Galactica. It would never work out, trust me.

8. If you're 13. What the hell is it with you and older guys? I don't care if you're hot, or if your parents "don't care" it's humiliating and illegal being with you! Go play with Barbie.

9. If you're over 23. If I'm horny I suppose we could do it, but don't expect a committed relationship. Really, how could you? Seriously.

10. If you're gay. Nothing personal about homosexuals, but I'm not one. Call me in 10 years and see if I've changed my mind.

If you survived the list above go ahead an talk to me. Actually I'll go out with anyone who is nice enough or brave enough to ask. It's far and I would expect the same, however if someone has one of the problems listed above I'm not surprised when it doesn't work out. Always be nice about rejecting someone though, online dating is one of the few instances where girls have the confidence to make the first move so you want avoid scaring them for life. One man's trash is another man's treasure! Okay so that's not the nicest thing in the world to say either. . .

Ring of Fire!

I watched the final part of the LOTR trilogy on DVD today; and I suppose it was entertaining enough. It was certainly more so then the first two parts. After school I voted. It was to select members of our city council, most of whom I didn't even know. Had I planned on voting I would have done some research on their backgrounds but I never intended to so I didn't bother to check. Another issue that was heavily focused on was this ban on gay marriage that the citizens of Jesusland were determined to have passed. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck about gay rights, I'm not gay so what do I care. However while I was watching TV I saw this really cheap (both in effort and actual $) ad on TV that used a bunch of positive sounding ten dollar words to make banning gay marriage seem like every responsible, patriotic persons duty. If you hate gays because you think your religion disagrees with homosexuality, and you want to take away their rights just say it. Had they done that I might have voted yes. They could have had a cool campaign like that old milk one. Got prejudice? But I HATE it when republikkkans try to weasel their way into your heart by twisting words around to show them as good guys or saviors of America. Even more upsetting is that the instant some dolts see the word 'protect' they turn off their brains and think "I'm on this guy's side". Even if you could say uncontested that Christianity disapproves of homos then it'd still be a bad idea to make a law because of that. Using logic instead of your interpretation of your religious text is the best way to go on laws; if the majority of the population suddenly embraced a different faith then yours and transitioned all their beliefs into laws you'd be in the minority. And you'd be screwed, not anally or vaginally, just screwed. I don't morally approve of gay marriage; however if I marry a woman and the gay dudes down the street get married, that doesn't void the bond between my wife and I. You have to live and let live. It's called freedom.

Mmm. . . . . expensive

So the pope died. In other news the new and arguably first Starbucks opened today. Yep, we're no longer a little town now this proves it. I tried the vanilla bean thingy. Pretty tasty.

"Those circus midgets [children] cannot hold there booze!" -Van Wilder.

The Best Job In The World?

First off shouldn't it technically be ON the world instead of in the world? Oh well, anyway two words Howard and Stern. That guy is one lucky fucker. Basically he gets paid to just hang out with his friends and interview celebrities and half nude hotties. Best fucking job ever. I usually don't watch that show on E! Because it's such a tease (they censor out everything fun) but my channel surfing came to a halt when I saw and heard this sexy siren named Stacey Hayes on his show. She looks great in a skirt and I must admit her accent turns me on. Usually I'm not really into blondes but I dug her. I liked her so much it actually forces me to use the word "dug" to describe my feeling for her. Wow. Oh yeah, here's a quiz. . . . . go wild.

Fair-Stretch You are likely to be single for about 44% of your life!

Now, there's good news and there's bad news. Good news is, you're not the worst of the bunch! Bad news is that you could be single for a fair amount of time. If you're in a relationship currently, then it may not last long; in the future you may find long gaps of singleness between coupledoms. Perk up, is coupledom really that great anyway?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 51% on SingleQuotient

Link: The Single for how Long Test written by hadz on Ok Cupid

Pop

You know what I had for dinner tonight? Some seasoned french fries from "Grizzlebee's" that someone left on the table in the break room at Worst Buy, Airheads Cotton Candy Bubblegum, and BAWLS. Healthy n'est pas?