A compendium of knowledge, quotes, opinions, aspirations and adventures of a guy on the cusp of manhood.
Today I attended my very first college class. After AP chemistry a T-High, I drove a few miles to get to campus. That's the one thing I don't like about college so far. The campus, yes it's beautiful, and yes it looks cool, but it's just not as convenient as one big building. Especially when half of the "halls" look the same. The only buildings that do not look identical are: the Union (I'm still not exactly sure what this is because I haven't been inside), the science building (the top of the building has a huge dome with a telescope inside, I looked through it when Mars was close last summer), and the computer building which is really modern looking. There are also fraternities and sororities that look like big, old, ivy covered mansions.
Once I found the hall I needed to be in (it was on the other side of campus...), I entered the room. Unfortunately it was the wrong one. When I wrote down 176 in m planner I didn't make the line extending from the round part of the six long enough so it looked like a "0". So I was in room 170. I quickly realized this was the wrong class when the students got out homework and the professor began talking about math related topics. I rechecked my planner, realized that the 0 was actually a 6 and left. I found the correct room and took a seat, just before the professor called my name. I was surprised to find he was just now calling roll and I was 10 minutes late. I was also surprised (pleasantly) that no one cared that I was late. No one bitched about it, no one tried to send me to detention, no one restricted my bathroom privileges, no one made me wait in the gym. No one even looked up. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. The class was strange though, because it's a private college it was a little smaller than most of my high school ones. There were all sorts of people in there, I sat between a white guy who looked like he had come from the movie Malibu's Most Wanted and a man who had to be in his 40. he had gray hair and everything. Behind me was a fat woman in her 30s and in front of me a police officer in uniform. This took a little getting used to, from preschool on you always got the impression that you have to be a certain age to learn certain things. You have to be in preschool to learn the alphabet and colors, you have to be in kindergarten to learn to read as well as add and subtract, first grade multiplication, middle school algebra and sex ed, high school chemistry etc. Now, apparently, I had reached the point where you're ready to take in whatever knowledge you were interested or deemed yourself prepared for. I knew this before college, but actually seeing old people learning in the same environment as you is a lot different than just hearing about it.
The professor, Byrd, looked exactly what you'd expect a professor to look like. Kinda short, kinda pudgy, glasses, thick beard, big sweater. I wonder if he planned his prof look. Old too, he even admitted that he had been teaching the course longer than some of us had been alive. He gave a short introduction to the class and then we wrote a long letter to the English staff detailing our expectations and desires for the class. It's not that they were really interested, it was kind of a pretest to see where our skills currently are. Meaning if they don't like the way I write I'll get bumped back to another class or perhaps, skipped ahead. I usually don't write so much by hand, my wrist was sore afterwards. Students who finished early turned in their letter then got up and let. There was no reason to stick around anymore, no one was going to call their parents for skipping class.
After Freshman Composition I returned (to my dismay) to high school for French 4. I was going to go the library to study but Kirby, that horrific gelatinous blob that guards the hall said I could not go without a pass. What a disappointment to go from being on top of the world to down with your face in the dirt. After just one taste of college I already felt high school was so far beneath me. Yep, I've definitely got senioritis.
Me: I think the two if us can take her
Reese: Okay, let's go! Rumor has it that she used to be homecoming queen.
Me: I seriously doubt it. What happened to her?
Resse: She's still here.....
I guess she didn't get it. I wasn't questioning what happened to her. I was wondering what caused her to mutate into a fluffy creature that eats you and absorbs your powers. Aren't homecoming queens generally attractive?
It is clear to me now that I have become infected and now a deadly carrier of the disease known as senioritis. I went to class today, but there was just one problem. I didn't have class. Good thing too, I would have been ten minutes late. When I walked into chemistry (regular not my AP) and saw a bunch of new younger faces staring back at me I realized my mistake. Mr. Anderson looked as if to say "I can't believe one of my student is this stupid". I just shrugged an left.
Seeing as how I had made such an effort to get to school, showering, driving and what not I figured I might as well stick around for a while. There was a substitute in a Acting and Theater class so I slipped in and watched their lame performances for awhile. They got mad when I tried to spice things up by slipping into the scene with a made up character.
After I grew tired of that I just wandered the halls playing surprise grab ass. Oh you've never tried that? Let me explain: you find a hot chick making out with her boyfriend in the hallway; walk past, squeeze her bottom, walk away. Watch the fun. Most of the time the girl will think it's her BF that groped her and the poor guy get slapped. Sometimes if the guy isn't with a prude (rare) she "returns" the favor and goes into slut mode on the guy (he can thank me later). I have never been caught, but I've gotten funny looks from the guys. I make a hasty exit.
After I fondled all the possible booties on each floor I left school and wandered around downtown taking pictures. I've got some cool ones but I'll wait until I need one for a post. I passed the preschool I used to go to a long time ago and saw a former classmate of mine. It was Kayla, apparently she had dropped out (or graduated early) and was now working in Day-care. There were a line of little kids following her like ducks, I remember those walks.....Anyway she said hi and then left. In Mr. T's class she was pregnant and told me she wanted more kids. Judging by the size and shape of her belly I guess she got her wish. Damn, she works fast. I have to admit for a skanky high school pregger she's pretty hot. I saw her ass once on PJ Day. Her flannel pants were too small and she pulled them down to get them out of her crack. I'd....
I went back to school for the business food fair thing. Got some nachos and ate lunch with Jon.
Jon: You don't have any classes?
Me: No I'm just hanging out here.
Jon: Why? If I was in your position I'd have stayed home.
Me: Well I was already here so I figured why go back now?
Jon: In that case you want to take a trig test for me next hour?
Me: Not really, and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work. They might notice.
Jon: No they wouldn't. Just cover yourself in chalk and dye your hair red. Then make some comments about how religion is idiotic.
Yep that's Jon. He's an atheis t. An extreme one. The guy once wrote a story about how much he hated people trying to show him "the light" and how he would show them his own light. Then he published it. I am stunned that he wasn't crucified an burned at the stake for that. I'm almost agnostic, and even I was somewhat offended by it. I can't believe the Skool paper even allows him to write anymore. Especially here in the bible belt. He told me about a comictoon he was going to write about religious fanatics and he was trying to get Sam to draw it.
So that's it. That was my day at school. I went home, watched Room Raiders, jacked, washed my car, then went to sleep. As for my homework due the next day? Fuck it. I don't even need that class.
