Lots of Movies

I just finished watching Naked Gun on TV, I had forgotten how funny that movie was. I also rented Garden State and Shaun of The Dead so I'll watch those later.

"Love is like the ozone layer, you never miss it till it's gone."

Headache

Attended the battle of the bands at the expo tonight. Out of the seven that performed, there were first and second place winners. Though I hate to say it, I think I agree with the choices for 1st and 2nd prize (neither of my friend's bands won). It lasted from 8:00 to 12:00 so I guess I got my money's worth. Though some people just snuck in; why didn't I think of that? Saw some really unusual combinations of dance styles. Can't say I have ever witnessed someone getting served a Ska/Break-Dance/DBZ-attack before, now that's entertainment. As usual there were a ton of hot girls. A TON.

M

A Purely Emotional Post

FROM M-W.com: One entry found for cabin fever.
Main Entry: cabin fever
Function: noun
: extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged time

I was going to do general here's the shit I did today post, which would include work blah blah blah, slepp blah blah blah, the moives I saw.....etc(Yeah, I'll mix it up a little).

But I just can't!

I can't sit still and think out the post. I can't even go back and fill in what I did because I'm so damn hyper. I'm not even gonna try to use correct grammer becuase I can barely make my self sit here and punch the keys.

You see I haven't really gone or done anything in the last, oh...three days. I'm starting to loose it. I think I actually need school I mean, I'm going crazy. Ya wanna hear this song I made up?

I've got cabin fever, WOOT!
I've got cabin fever, WOOT!
I've got cabin fever, WOOT!
I've got cabin fever, WOOT!
I've got cabin fever, WOOT!
I've got cabin fever, WOOT!

Hmmm, it probably would have been easier to just copy and paste that but I need to burn off the energy baby! I even tried masturbating (I know, big surprise) bu that only cured me for like two minutes after cumming. plus I never ran out this time......it was kind of strange.....

ANYWAY I made up a dance you can use if you ever feel the same, here are the steps:
1. Spring up out of your chair with both hands in the air and yell "I've got cabin fever, yeah!" (you can use whatever end word feels most natural to you.....this would be interesting on an international scale)
2. Hop on to your left foot and place your right arm in the air bent at a 90* angle
3(2). Hop on to your right foor and stick your left arm into the air, bending at the elbow to make a right angle.
4. Repeat steps 1-2-2. Do it really fast and continue to chant as you do. Do it fast enough so that steps 1-3 become all mixed up and crazy, make strange faces as you do this.

If you're trapped somewhere with several friends you can form a conga line.

If all else fails take your dog for a walk, then come home and masturabte to internet porn. I reccomend pussy dot org. They have good variety, even some stuff for chicks.

Hide/Show Family Members

My Mom remarried about two years ago. I never told my Dad because, well, he's emotional unstable. It's not that I thought he wasn't over her, it just that it was easier for me that way. This way I don't have to answer any annoying questions like what does he doe? How old is he? What's he look like etc.

So I just never said anything. Unfortunately today Derek mentioned Marty in a conversation and Dad said "who?" and without any forethought Derrick blurted out "The guy she's married to!" So anyway, the cats out of the bag.

I don't think Dad cares, but I think he wonders why I didn't tell him. I know that currently he has a serious girlfriend and that his girlfriend has a daughter. I've heard them talking on the phone before by accident and I found Christmas lists for both of them. The one for his lady friend had victoria's secret stuff on it. Ew, old people.....Relations. It's enough to make you go blind.

Brrrr

I've spent the entire day playing video games both PS2 and Game Cube, I'll probably take a break and head to Best Buy to get some more.

Freezing right now, the heater broke. Even with two sweaters on I'm cold and my toes feel like they are going to break off. This morning when I woke up I could see my breath, I should have stayed under the covers.

The Next Day

Today I did very little. That is exactly the way I want it too, I'm really enjoying my time off from school. With most of my first semester classes over I only have homework in two subjects to do. I need to read the next chapter in chemistry and do a two-page worksheet for French. Not bad considering I have a week of free time to do those.

I finally got around to watching Oceans 11. Not bad, but not great either. With all the star power that movie had you'd expect something incredible though. It was still better than watching Dodge ball for the second time. I think Dad agrees, he really doesn't like that slapstick like humor. Neither do I really, but I thought the dialogue was hilarious.

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!"
"I don't think they make any 'I'm sorry your coach just got crushed by two tons of irony' hallmark cards."

"What? I should only kill people after I get to know them?" - Collateral

Happy Boxing Day!
Grimsqueaker | 12.26.04 - 7:12 pm | #

Thanks!
. . . . .What's "Boxing Day"? Are you threatening me?
lsob | 12.26.04 - 11:45 pm | #

boxing day is some socilist thing i think
cube | Email | Homepage | 12.28.04 - 8:49 pm | #

Christmas Day

Today is Christmas, and at about 9:30 in the morning I woke up to go over to Dad’s house. Everyone else was leaving too, though not necessarily to the same place. Derrick would be following me to Dad’s in his car. Liz and Elle were going to their mother’s house; my mother and Marty were going to Marty’s parents’ home in Arkansas. Did you get all of that? Good. So early in the morning when everyone except for the cat was evacuated we left. Derrick followed me for half the way then disappeared and showed up at the house ten minutes after I did. This time when I entered the house Dad was actually out of the bed.

I had stopped by his house yesterday (it was easy to spot our house, it was the only one in Knoll Wood that did not particiate in the lighted bag things; our yard made a huge gap) to see what he was doing and he was just lying in bed starring at the ceiling with a big (and I mean big) bottle of wine on his bed stand. I tired to talk to him but he just whined about how mom cheated him out of somethingor another so I left.

He was watching Judah Ben Hur (I think that’s his name, I don’t know and I seriously don’t give a fuck) on TV. I joined him and watched it, as did Derrick a few minutes later. It was interesting but like all old movies, somewhat dull and slow moving. Everyone exchanged gifts, well by everyone I mean Dad and I. Derrick had to many college classes that needed to be paid for and Uncle Mitchell is in debt. Doesn’t really matter though, I got a $50 gift card to Best Buy and a $100 one to Kohl’s. Ugh, yet another Clothes heavy Christmas. I’ve been saying it 15 years now, I HATE GETTING CLOTHES FOR CHRISTMAS! (or ANY occasion), and no one ever seems to hear. At least I had some money on the Best Buy card, I just wish the amounts were reversed. No I wish it was all 150 for Best Buy, but I guess it’s the thought that counts. . . . .right.

Later everyone watched Dodge Ball, and Tupac Resurrection, and after that Uncle Mitchell and Derrick stayed home and played some Madden game for Play Station. While they were playing that dull game Dad and I went to see Flight of the Phoenix, we accidentally arrived there 45 minutes early (oops, I got the times mixed up) so that means Dad and I were alone in theater watching with nothing to do besides chat, or watch ads like “Immunize your kids!” or my favorite “What actor said this”. So we talked, it was one of the longest conversations I’ve had with dear old Dad in some time. We talked about Derrick, movies, the future, women, Christmas, politics, friends etc. I don’t really remember the specifics of the conversation. I do remember him saying I was” too young to be so angry”. Now, (I finished the draft of this post on the 26th) I can’t even recall what he meant by this. Anyway the movie was great, really great. It’s the kind of movie I’ve been longing to see for some time. I think there may be a new addition to my Top Ten List.

Merry Christmas Marry, and happy birthday Jesus.

Christmas Eve

And now the true meaning of Christmas. It's going to be a death match people Kris Kringle AKA "Santa Claus" has his foot ready to place firmly up J.C.'s stocking. Jesus H Christ squares off against the fat man on mission to put the CHRIST back in Christmas where it belongs. It's going to be a fight to the death, and like most death matches there can be ONLY ONE! Stay tuned.

All I REALLY want for Christmas is. . .Well never mind, the moment has passed. So much for this being a sentimental post.

Luke 2: 1-7
Not many people can teach you important religious lessons, AND fly x-wings in their spare time.

Derrick arrived from Manhattan around noon today. We ate a very Thanksgiving like dinner then watched Collateral and Napoleon Dynamite. I thought Collateral would suck but it turned out to be a brilliant film. I thought Napoleon Dynamite would be great but it turned out to be kind of mediocre. Still liked it though. To my horror Mom purchased the first Karaoke game to help her get over the boredom caused by a paucity of new songs in the second karaoke. Now Liz and Mom have begun torturing us again, I thought mom was a bed singer but Liz is even worse. She sounds like an alley cat that is getting mauled to death by a dog…...and the cat has a sore throat from smoking too much. I sought refuge in my room and played games on Newgrounds.com until it was time to go to Church. Everyone went with an exception of Derrick who was sleeping.

The entire congregation sang songs, a few members sang solo songs and Pastor Janice read some interesting sermons. At the end we all lit candles to symbolize the birth of Jesus, the light of the world. It looked really beautiful. We were concerned about giving Elle a candle for obvious reasons but she behaved herself, probably better than I would have at her age. The advent wreath was beautiful and the Candle lighting Litany was nice.

After that we went home and opened presents (except for Derrick who wouldn’t wake up) I got some cool things (like the nice telescope I’ve wanted for some time) it was too cold outside to use though, even with my coat on. I also received the guitar stand I needed, and a travel guide for Europe. So there was some cool stuff, unfortunately the vast majority of my gifts were multifarious articles of clothing. I was not thrilled about this specifically because I said didn’t want any clothes and even more specifically because I said I hated the lighter Khaki pants (only fags wear those; I'm going to work not a Backstreet Boys concert!). Mom knew this, but got them anyway because she “likes the way I look in them”. Trash. If the receipt isn’t there so I can exchange them for darker brown ones that is where they are going. I would like to say I don’t give to get but I suppose that is not really true. I think everyone was pleased with the gifts I gave them, and for one simple reason. I got them what the asked for as opposed to what I thought they needed. That’s how it works folks. On the plus side I got a $25 Best Buy gift card from my…..step-aunts and step uncle? Melody and Max. I’ll be sending them a really nice thank you letter, perhaps something else too.

Hmmm... Tastes like Chicken. Am I chicken? Am I a frog? Am I human? All unfamiliar meats taste like chicken, and that's what I am, an unfamiliar meat. What Flavour Are You?

Pastor: “-Let us pray for those who are not well in mind or body-“
Me: “Or both.....”

Over The River

Mom and I went to Wichita today to visit my Grandparents. I watched King of The Hill with Grandpa and made a pathetic attempt to play piano. We also went to Best Buy to purchase a universal remote for Grandma. Their Best Buy is huge, nearly twice the size of ours. Now I know that my discount works everywhere, I was able to use it even though I was out of town. With it the remote was only $4.00; it works really well too. We also visited my cousins and aunt. They've moved into their new house and it is really nice. I just hate old houses so maybe I thought it was cooler than it actually was. Chris was really enjoying his Game boy DS. They sure have come along way, the Mario game was playing was on it was the same game I had for N64 back in '96, and it looked just as good. Jade forced us to watch Sleepover but we had to stop the movie about ten minutes into it because it was so painful to see. I almost cried; it angers me that movies like this even make it to the market. It's all about luck I guess; I think if I had the opportunity I could be great screenwriter. It seems like you can just put any shit on paper nowadays and it gets to the silver screen. What happened to the days of Lawrence of Arabia? For dinner we ate at a really nice Mexican restaurant, which in English would be called Grandfather's. It was kind of like On The Border, except it seemed fancier and had less of a Chili’s atmosphere and more of an Olive Garden feel. My aunt doesn't cook so they eat out almost every day of the week. On the way there and back Mom and I had our usual trapped in a small space conversations in this order:



1. Why is Wichita so much better than Topeka
More development, less rednecks.

2. Why Mom remarried
Because both Dad and Marty or needy pussies, but Marty and Mom respect each other, mostly. Whereas Dad and Mom just went head to head on everything that required decision-making.

3. Why Mom is smothering and I hate her
I need breathing room, back the fuck off

4. Why Dad is a deadbeat and I should hate him
Sorry, but I’ll take some freedom and independence over home cooked meals any day

5. What to do about Grandmother's Alzheimer’s.
Nothing because mom doesn’t have the guts to seek help, Grandma won’t because she has agoraphobia and hasn’t left the house in 10 years, so the verdict is to just let her health deteriorate

Finally Free

Warning, the follwoing post contains profane language and unfair racial statements.

I woke up this morning at 8:50, panicked then realized I didn't really have to be to school at 8:00 because I had two more chances to make up my French 4 final, the only one remaining. I could do this at either 11:30 or 1:30. Since I had nothing better to do I went to school anyway just to hang out and kill some time. I drove at a leisurely pace, something I'd almost forgotten how to do.
When I got to school the library entranced was blocked with that extendable steel gate they pull in front to keep kids from stealing books, computers or whatever. They let me in though because I'm a proctor. I flipped through some of the more interesting magazines: Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, Wired, Newsweek, Time and National Geographic. Even some of the more boring ones: Parenting, Glamor, Better Homes, North American Deer Hunter, YMm, Highlights For Children, Hispanic, People. They have a magazine for everyone now days. I'm still waiting for Kids Who Eat Paste Quarterly. After that I browsed the shelves looking for good books to read or purchase with by Barnes and Noble gift cards I'm sure to get during this holiday season. I wrote them down on a list.
Then I studied some French, I wrote down whatever I didn't get a chance to study on an index card. No, I wasn't cheating. MME Walsh allowed us to use one. Isn't that kind? I also updated my other blog (unfortunately it's part of a school web-ring and I can't link to it if I want this one to remain private. And I do for obvious reasons). I saw the girl who is an exchange student from France there, I waved and she looked deeply concerned, then hurried away. I thought maybe I could convince her to do some work for me but I guess not. A few guys came into the library and began playing that card game Magic the Gathering but the Librarians kicked them out (Jeez I can't believe anyone still plays that. Where do they even sell the cards?)
I played the Halo trial with these two guys I didn't know and that took up most of my time until 1:30. I went to room 304 to take my make up French test (because I was gone when everyone else took it) I think I did well one most of it actually, only time will tell though.I finished the test around 3:00. Last test, :) FUCK YEAH!

Then I had to go straight home and change into my blue shirt and khakis for work. I worked from 3:30 to 11:30. It was busy, with last minute shoppers but not as busy as it had been on some previous nights. Some of the customers got mad at me because I didn't wish them a Merry Christmas (just take your stuff and leave dammit!) but of course I didn't do this on purpose, it's not right to assume everybody celebrates the same holiday. What if someone Jewish had come through my line? How do you think that would have made them feel? Then how do you think it would have made me feel? One of my favorite quotes, and a good one to live by is "When we assume, we make an ass out of u (you) and me" (but mostly you). Those customers should just be glad I thanked them or said "have a good evening at all". And it's a receipt, not a "ticket". I'd like to see you get into a football game with a printed list of retail items. Dumb asses. Okay, so technically it's the same thing, but I think receipt just sounds better. It's like the difference between soft drink and soda pop God, I really need to find a job that attracts less out of town yahoos because Smallville KS (or wherever) doesn't have it's own mega-conglomerate-electronics retailer. Those damn Gretchen Wilson loving rednecks. Seeing as how I'm on such a roll being an unenlightened, race bashing, intolerant, ass hole; allow me move on to the next group of people who pissed me off because of my insensitivity and ignorance tonight; The Italians getting the XM satellite radio, I couldn't understand one damn word these people said, GO BACK TO BOSTON! Oh, I'm sorry. Bahwstunn. Sorry, I apologize it's been a really stressful week. That was uncalled for.....In conclusion, before I went off on a tangent and started this incoherent, sophomoric, culture clash rant. I had finished my final final (last final exam) and was unable to enjoy the immediate relief of this accomplishment due to a busy work schedule.

Customer: Don't bother asking about the service plan, I used to work at a Best Buy in Iowa.
Me: Oh really? Did you like it?
Customer: FUCK no. That was the worst job I've ever had. I absolutely hated it.

"Nathan look what I have! It's a like a CD player but instead of music it plays smells. 'Scent Stories'. Ha ha This has got to be the worst invention ever!" - Dylan @ store prize give away

Ah, TV. My old friend.

"We're snorting Christmas cheer!" - TV Funhous e

"I just couldn't let him live, he electrocuted Santa's balls!" - South Park, Christmas in Iraq

Ding dong, they caught Saddam! Merry Christmas to the world!
Ding dong, the Americans caught Saddam!
[Santa's sleigh passes by and the boys are hoisted into it]
Now Canada is free for you and you and me
It's the best Christmas presents we ever got
Canadian Christmas, it's the best! We drink and dance and show our breasts!
Let's celebrate! Saddam Hussein's been caught!

"Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Becket stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and Vanished...He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Becket finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home."

Under Pressure

Bah bah bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah bah
Do do do bah bah bah bah
Ice, ice baby! Wait, that doesn't fit, does it?

Just one more day until finals are a thing of the past, the pressure is mounting (heh heh mounting). For high school anyway. I took the library final too, and guess what. Not only did we actually have one, it was challenging. It was like 10 pages long and each was filled with a list of book titles, call numbers, and authors that we had to place in order. This task in itself was not challenging, I do it every other day as a proctor. The difference is I'm actually holding the books and putting them away one at a time. This was difficult because I had to remember the books in order as I saw them, if just one was out of place all answers would be wrong after that. Did I mention I have really bad short term memory? The librarians were kind enough to leave us some candy and snacks to celebrate the holidays and to say good bye. Kristy didn't eat hers so I did.

because of the weird finals schedule we had an extra long lunch. For part of lunch Phillip, Red and I ate in my car. The night before my mom had purchased some McDonald's (Fires and Chicken Selects, even apple pie!) for me but it was late and I already grabbed some lassagna for dinner by the time she got home. So I froze it and put it in my lunch box for today. Then warmed it up using the microwave near the stage *shudders* thespians are creepy. Anyways, it turns out this was a big mistake, I should have just stuck with the traditional turkey sandwich, BBQ pringles and a gatorade. Or at least gotten FRESH fast food from Grande Taco.

Do you know the difference between home made food and fast food?
Give up?
Home made food taste BETTER, the day after when you warm it up again. When you warm up fast food the next day and eat it; it's hardly edible! YUCK!

"Thank you Santa, for bringing Christmas to the children of Mars." - Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Oh gall. Yes. But stale fries are still stale fries no matter what. Yuck.
Faye | Email | Homepage | 12.23.04 - 4:56 am | #

Hmm, I wouldn't know. I've never had leftover Home Fries (dumb movie) before. I like the fires Mom makes so much I usually eat them all up the first day. First minute actually.
lsob | 12.24.04 - 3:57 am | #

fries* LOL The combustion of logs can not be considered home made or fast food. It's just fire.
Freedom Fires | 12.24.04 - 3:59 am | #

Jingle Balls, Jingle All The Way!

Crunch time is all but wrapped up. But first I do have a few loose ends to tie up. Just three finals remaining. Well four if you count Computer mastery, and I don't.

I arrived at school a few minutes late this morning, I lost my key again, damnit that get so annoying. I was concerned at first but luckily I found a parking space near the side of the school where the computer lab is. I parked, went inside and sat down and began to log on when Mrs. Hageyman scurries over and hover around me for a while.
Me: What?
Mrs. Hageyman: You were ten minutes late.
Me: No. I was eight minutes late; the second hand has just now past the nine minute mark *points at watch*
Mrs. Hageyman: Well it's been ten minutes by my watch.
Me: Uh-huh.
Mrs. Hageyman: the rules for finals week are you can't-
Me: OKAY, fine. What do you want?
Mrs. Hageyman: You have to go wait in your division by the principal's office until class is over.

So I left, but I didn't go to the division office of course. Why bother no one was going to check with teachers to see who was supposed to be there, and there was no way in hell I was going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs for an entire hour and a half. No sir, I was gonna twiddle something else. I decided that Mrs. hag had pissed me off for the last time. I have been planning to ejaculate in her coffee for a long time now and today was the day it was going to happen. As Jason would say I'm going to give her a double latte. I trudged down the hallway until I reached the bathroom, the one by the band room. The orchestra or whoever was in there was playing Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. I had to laugh, how appropriate. I found an empty stall, thankfully most are clean early in the school day. and sat down, then dropped my pants. That's when I heard an announcement from Principal V******, he said that there would be faculty members sweeping the halls looking for students who were supposed to go to the office but were just standing around in the halls. I wasn't concerned. The faculty members would probably check the bathrooms too (no one is allowed to go to the bathroom during finals) but no one would bug me as long as my pants could be seen dropped by my feet under the stall. What the hell were they going to say? "Hey you, the one taking a shit. Excuse me but could you uh, come with us?". I could see it right now the faculty, probably that short fat white woman (Jason and I call her Kirby because she looks the video game character) and the fat old black dude (think Shaq in oh, 30 years) were probably outside rounding up students with their gay secret service reject looking earpieces in place. Anyway, it didn't matter I was safe to do my business. The problem with ejaculation via masturbation is one females may not be aware of. I think it could expressed in terms of a mathematical function c = (X)t. The amount of semen you're able to cum is proportional to the amount of time you have to jack off and the hardcore rating of the porn. I did not have any porn. All I had were two wallet size senior photos of two relatively hot girls in my Myth class. *Sigh* If only I had had one of Veronica's, this would have taken HALF the time. Of course they're going in the yearbook so none of them were nude shots. Though I could see the bra strap on Carol's left shoulder and that gave me something for my imagination to work with while conCOCKting a sexual fantasy. The picture of Carol went from head to toe showing off her young naturally slim body. I could see her B cup breast pressing into the thin fabric of her black sweater. The picture, like almost all the senior girls' photographs, had been taken in the park on some of the new playground equipment. Carol was posing on a blue slide with her legs spread, slightly. The other picture, the one of Lindsey was of her face only, she has a beautiful face. A much prettier one than Carol but . I'm thankful that the picture was of her face only though, she is one of those girls who looks good but only from the neck up. Sort of a reverse butter face. I stared intensely at these pictures and focused my mind on forming a sexy idea I could work from. I masturbated for almost the entire hour and ejaculated into the McDonald's napkin I had left over from lunch yesterday. It practice that normally only took 10 minutes was stretched out over an hour. That's what soft core photographs will do to you. I even started getting bored and going limp on a few occasions and once when two guys came into the bathroom and began talking loudly lost concentration all together. But I wasn't about to loose. I was a man on a mission.

Loud Guy 1: I can't believe how cold it is out there dawg, I'm freezing my ass off!
Loud Guy 2: Fuckin' A. There's no way I'm going to Auto Shop, I don't want to have to go back outside to get to the garage.
Loud guy: You gonna skip that final Dawg?
Loud Guy 2: Hell yeah, I don't really need it anyway. I have an A in that class. I'm an Auto ace.

There was a pause in the "conversation" followed by the sound of two guys pissing like horses into the urinals then flushing and parting ways. It was really annoying. They had to come in an interrupted me during the best part. Carol and I were lying on the slide naked intertwined in each other’s arms, her tongue my mouth my hand on her back, the other between her legs....
Anyway my work was done.

Now came the fun part planting the seed. Operation STARBUCKS was underway. At least that's what I thought, the plan was to put it in the coffee but that would never work 1) because the coffee was INSIDE the class room and 2) because the semen was too far absorbed into the paper napkin to drip anymore, not without sticking the whole napkin in the coffee an that would be too obvious. I had blown my load 5 minutes prior to the bell ringing. At the end and beginning of every class period. Mrs. Hageyman stood outside the door with her hand on the door handle wait for the bell to ring so she could immediately slam the door close and write down anyone who was stranded outside as late. All teachers are technically required to wait out side a monitor the halls, help break up fights and such. But most choose to stay at their desk and prepare for the next class to start. Hageyman is really the only one who does this. So before class started I crept up to the door, ducking beneath the window and smeared my jism all over the door handle. It wasn't as cool as the coffee but it would suffice for revenge. Mrs. Hageyman's office is sandwiched in between her classroom and Crockett/Smith's room. The coffee was inside the computer lab classroom with Mrs. Hageyman. But her keyboard was in the office between the rooms. I walked into Crockett's class, which was empty and said hello. He said hello back politely but did not look up from his USA today. I walked into the office and smeared cum all over the keyboard too. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I strode out of the room past Crock. I took a disk with me to make it seem as if that was all I had come back for. SCORE!

After that little incident I moved on to Mythology to take the final. It was strange sitting in that class between Carol and Lindsey, if only they knew what I had spent the hour before doing. Creepy, yes? The test itself was surprisingly quite challenging; even with the note card she allowed us to use. It was mostly over general mythology concepts and it also had plenty of vocabulary. Some of it's pretty interesting. Ill add a list of some of the words to this blog so I can remember them and maybe use them in the future.

Next was Foods 2. I took the final, it was easy. Mostly over nutrition and cooking methods that we had thankfully used often enough that they would be difficult to forget now.

Then I went to the Library and put away books as usual. No final in that class. I can't wait till New Years Eve. I'm planning a follow up revenge to top things off with that hag of a man. I'm going to light a bag full of burning dog shit on her doorstep. All I have to doo is scoop up some of Rockies little "brownies" and grab some matches and I'm all set. Hell I might even add one of my own. We'll have a goddamn bake sale! However whether or not I pull this off will depend on how angry and awake I am when the time comes. For now this is enough. I know that technically a lot of her bitchiness is my fault. If I got up ten minutes earlier and always put my stuff in the same place.....Well it doesn't really matter. Everyone I've talked to hates her, and they all have their own reasons. Even on the days I do everything right she's a bitch to work with and a poor excuse for a teacher. She deserves it. It wasn't revenge, it was retributive justice.

Till next year Mrs. H. Well never mind, I'll be long gone.
"Does anyone else think it's strange that the cylops lives in cave alone? With sheep." - class remark regarding Homer's Oddessy.


Olde Comments, spelled with an 'e' for no reason
Well Nathan that's a little scary, but all things set aside, I'm laughing here like a dumb shit ahahahahahaha good times good times
Rochelle | 12.22.04 - 6:02 am | #

Well a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. I considered leaving that part out but why? It's my blog, and I gave readers fair warning.
lsob | 12.23.04 - 1:44 am | #

Haha I know; and i like it! btw i told my sister and she laughed her ass off too haha
Rochelle | 12.23.04 - 4:17 am | #

Oh. My. God. That was justice alright. You are one sick genius.
jessica | 12.23.04 - 4:48 am | #

Ahahahahhah. Best. Post. Ever.

Here, LSOB, have a trophy! I'm going to buy you a pizza!
Faye | Email | Homepage | 12.23.04 - 5:05 am | #

Ha ha, can you imagine what would be on the trophy? A gold man sitting on a toilet...

Mmmm, pizza! Pepperoni?
lsob | 12.24.04 - 3:54 am | #

Daily Memory Extrapolation 356

Me: ALL your bases are belong to us!
I shouted and threw my fist into the wall near my bunk bed. By the time my fist was flying I had already woken up, but it was too late to stop. I was dreaming, I was in the middle of a passionate battle. Unfortunately the "guy" I punched was a wall and by the time I realized it was all a dream it was to late to stop my fist. Now they're all skinned, my knuckles I mean. They don't hurt too much though. "All your bases are bleong to us." I don't know where I heard this but in the dream it seemed to make since at the time. I probably saw it in a movie. I'll never forget the time I spent the night at Joe's and he said "Saki to me" in his sleep. We had just finished watching Austin Powers. So yeah, a movie probably.

Today is Sunday, I attempted to get up and go to church but I stayed up all night endlessly channel surfing, and then surfing the web, and then channel surfing. I fell asleep around 3:00 AM. I woke up around 11:30 and discovered that like most Sunday mornings I was alone. Mom, Marty and Elle were gone. Church for them was over; they were probably at Barnes & Noble or eating breakfast somewhere. Liz was gone too; her cultish branch of church was still in service I think. Rocky was home though, he was just lying in his crate with the cage door open, apparently it was comfortable in their and he has no reason to come out. When he saw me he stretched, wagged his tail and came over to sniff me. I poured a bowl of Frosted Flakes, ate them and channel surfed for a while. Got bored browsed for anything good on TiVo, found that Venture Bros, and Drawn together had been deleted. I deleted The 7 People You Meet in Heaven as an act of revenge. That movie was lame ass anyway, and I was confident everyone had already mulled through it.

I went back to my room made the 3x5 note card to cheat off for my Myth final. Then I took a nap and when I woke up Mom, Marty and Elle had returned. They were playing this karaoke game for PS2. Everyone really seemed to want me to try it but I don't know why. We have purchased several video games recently and so far this one looks the least fun and or interesting. Then my mom went off on a tangent and started telling everyone stories about how when I was younger I would just space off whenever my class was in one of those stupid music-performance things. And how humiliated she was and about how I was talented in many areas but never used any of it. Anyway, I was surprised because this is the first "game" I have ever seen mom even attempt to "play". And as you may have expected her "singing" was atrocious. The game looked dull, I would have preferred to spend the entire day making "air quotes" rather than playing it.

I went back to my room and read the Sunday newspaper (one of the few events I look foreword too). Despite the abundance of redneck article and bitchy older women specials there are generally a few worthwhile articles in it. Primarily the Entertainment reviews and comics but there are a few other good things.

A few hours later Liz got home, she had spent the entire day horse back riding with her new boyfriend (Marty teased her about the boyfriend title, Liz didn't concede anything but it obviously fits; Though she could genuinely not be sure yet, I mean she is female, she's probably waiting for him to shower her with more money first.). As soon as she got home she started showering and primping which immediately made me suspicious because generally after a long day at the barn she is content to just kick back and let the vile farm smell radiate throughout the house. Later when she was prancing about the house singing "This is gonna be fun, this is gonna be fun!" I decided to ask her what was up. A turn out the cowboy himself was coming to join us for dinner tonight. He arrived a few hours later then we expected but just, as it was getting entertaining to watch Liz pout he showed up.

We had steaks for dinner (Liz requested), I'm not really a big red meat fan unless it is of the ground variety, but I'll eat anything that's grilled. His name is aptly Austin, he is from a small town near Austin, Texas that became a ghost town and has only lived here for a few years. For the steak he went out to his big red truck and brought back his own special blend of steak sauce in an old water bottle. Hilarious. Has anyone ever made fun of you for the way you like to eat your food? It was nice having this guy around, it just goes to show you that everyone has their own quirks when it comes to meals and you're not alone. He seems like a real nice guy, or at least a charismatic one. He reminds me of a young George Dubbya Bush. Says "sir" and "ma'am" a lot. Strange I've never been called a sir before, very ROTC-ish. At first I thought he was just being courteous but then he never stopped. I guess he is kinda like those people who say "like", "dude", "dawg", or "man" endlessly. Guilty of any of the above? Perhaps that's just the way they speak down south. Just for fun I counted SIRS: 27 MA'AMS: 12. It really wasn't as annoying as you might expect. What was annoying was Liz's incessant giggling. Just shoot me now, or her whichever. Ok, her, that would be preferable. Also Elle was irritating in the way the little-kid-baby-ADHD-adopted-step-sisters usually are: asking a lot of moronic questions, playing with food, screamed, talked loudly, wetting pants, stating the blatantly obvious, climbing on people, using the word "No."; in my opinion any kid under age 12 who uses the word "No." anytime, for whatever reason, deserves a two hour spanking with jagged sheet metal. Hmm, I guess I should have kids.

After dinner Mom made these expensive iced hot chocoloctae drinks that she saw on Opera and just "had to have” they were ordered months ago but because the restaurant was so back ordered they didn't arrive for some time. If you ask me they tasted just like a frosty from Wendy's and weren't worth the price tag. Everything Opera touches turns to gold. This is a fact. Then everyone went into the living room and played Monopoly or Scrabble or something. I hate board games; I think they're obsolete and generally not very entertaining (chess can get heated though). My family falls into the category that just about everyone else on this planet does: The People I Would Prefer not To Spend Time With, the Don'ts. The Do-Nots. The Do Not Disturbs, The Get Losts.

I don't think I've ever been so thankful to go to work (except for the first day) Best Buy was far more crowded than it was on even Thanksgiving Day. Turkey Day has sort of become our unit of measure for deterging our level of business. I had two Santa Claus sightings. On the way to work I saw one walking down the street from house to house with a big bag slung over his shoulder. Then at the store a customer pointed out a guy who although he was not n costume definitely looked like Santa. Long white beard, fat alcoholic-eggnog belly. Yep the whole kit n caboodle.

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all." - Woody Allen

Help

This is excellent, just go here! LOL!

This is the kind of grusemone stuff you see and say "I'm glad i don't live there" Ironically...
Eww.
Open Wide!

Stickin' It To The Man

What the hell does this mean?

Croyez-vous qu'il soit encore necessiare de nos jours d'ecrire de tels livres? les raisons sont-elles les memes que celles citees par Victor Hugo?

Believe you that he something something necessary something something something day write of something something book reasons something they (chicks) the somethings that something something par Victor Hugo.

"Permission to state the obvious High Commander?"
"You are so whipped."
"You are wrapped around the woman's finger like a yo-yo, and she is always walking the dog"
"Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 and Do NOT drop the sop." - 3rd Rock From The Sun

Just Hang In There

I have a really bad cold, runny nose, headache, stomach ace. I also have two finals in my most difficult classes: Advanced Placement Chemistry and 4th Year French. I also have hives. Yep I've gotten so nervous that I've broken out in hives, in some places on my body I've already scratched off some skin, now the area is raw, red and stings. I feel fucking-ucking miserable and I'm sick of reading Les Miserables.

In Honors Gov. we basically had a party. Most of the guys were playing Halo but there were a couple taking turns playing guitar. The girls just gossiped as usual via e-mail. They also started circulating pictures of "tub girl" so they could laugh at your reaction to it. If you don't know, DON'T ASK. I am serious you're better off not knowing. Most people screamed and ran.

A few made T-shirts to celebrate Crocket sticking with our class. Our original teacher, Mr. Smith quit one week into class because we were such unruly, terrible students. He just scribbled "I Quit" on the dryerase board and stormed out. Smith's replacement and substitute turned de facto teacher was Monsieur Crockett. A lawyer who has his license revoked for stealing several thousand dollars.

Since then students have reported sightings of Mr. Smith at everywhere from the Post Office to West Mall. I thought I saw him at Godfather's pizza a few days ago when leaving guitar lessons. As one student put it. He is a UFB. An Unidentified Fat bald guy. That may or may not have been Smith I saw but he definitely fit the description. Personally I liked Smith, I thought he was intelligent and a good teacher, I was sad to see him go. I feel I would have learned a lot. However lets be practical, I had a huge work load already and any more would have hurt my GPA. Mr. C let us off easy most of the time. Though he was a government official and I did learn some things from him too.

For the most part I didn't participate in this "party" I was too busy studying for my Chem final next period. I just barely finished cramming all the knowledge into my head that I needed when the bell rang. Actually I didn't get the molarity equations. I took the test for all 1:50 minutes. It was very hard. Possibly not the hardest test I'd ever taken but pretty damn close. I'm walking away with a good feeling about it too. Though last time I also did and I got a 'C' on it but this time, for this one rare occasion, I feel confident.

Next was Jazz Band. For the love of god I do not know what happens to all the reeds, picks, and drum sticks. It seems they just vanish when it comes time to play, they must go to the same place all those missing socks in the dryer do. Perhaps another parallel dimension or universe? When I get to college I'll have to research that as a science experiment. Mr. Holland's son led the band today. He is just like his dad except for some reason he is relentlessly peppy; and preppy actually. The guy looks like he stepped out of a j-crew catalog.

When lunch came, I decided I was too sick and too tired to take the French 4 final. I called the office and tried to excuse my self as usual, but got nervous and panicked and hung up. I called Mom and begged her to get me out of it. She did. So I have a little extra time to study for it.

I went home and took a 3 hour nap then went to work. Finals week part 2 continues come Monday. Oh, boy.

"No, I can't wish you luck. If you get extra luck there might be less available for me." - Dilbert

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20041219.html

My First Kiss, unsafe at ANY speed.

I'd like to think I'm a good driver but I guess that's not really true. While playing video games like Grand Theft Auto I've noticed most people follow all the driving rules and drive in an orderly manner. It's as if they don't realize its just a game. I remember hearing once that the quickest way to any given point is a straight line; so while playing I usually just drive straight there, through property, through cars, and over people if necessary. In the game you can run over someone and if you dry away fast enough you'll never get caught. In real life there are always witnesses. Also you never cry (figuratively of course) about wrecking your vehicle. First because you stole it, and secondly because you don't have to worry about police reports or insurance claims.

Anyway like I was saying, I'm not the best driver. I could probably careful if I wanted to but most of the time it's just not practical, and while I've never killed anyone or damaged any property (up until now) I realize I could stand to be more considerate. I usually speed through the neighborhood at around 50 mph. I make a conscious effort to stay under 70 when houses are near by. There is always this geriatric in front of his house near the intersection of Brenwood and Fair Lawn. Who is either raking leaves or changing the light bulb in his lamp post who usually looks up at me and shakes his head slowly with a chagrin grin on his face. I passed him and the intersection and prepared to merge on to the interstate (it's smooth sailing from there to Main street) when suddenly I dropped my Trick Daddy CD.

I reached down for a second to grab it and when I looked up I was about two inches from a cement median strip. I slammed on the breaks and skid up onto the median strip and about halfway across it; two wheels on the ground, two on on the strip. One sign bent at a 90* angle beneath my Volvo. I got out to asses the damage, lucky for me nothing seemed broken (except for the sign) I poured some Dr. Pepper (breakfast on a busy day) on the windshield to clear the ice that was forming then I got back in and put the car in reverse. I backed off the median strip and drove on to I-70. Not much happened at school, just a lot of frantic studying and reviewing for finals. I went home then realized I forgot my Chemistry text book so I had to turn around and head back to school.

I was leaving the neighborhood for the interstate again when I got caught behind this old man. It was THE old man. He was moving incredibly slow, not just slow like, slow. Slow like this is unrealistic, clearly the man is trying to mess with your head slow. He was probably creeping along at 1 or 2 MPH. I knew why, he had seen me speeding and now figured he would teach me a lesson or something. At first I was patient, after all, I kind of deserved it; but after half a mile I was starting to get pissed off. I had to light a fire under this geezer's ass. At lunch I sometimes rode with Joe and Ty, while Ike, Rob, and Dean were in the other car. For a time we found it amusing to gently ram the other person's car, then lurch forward, switch places and do it again. We stopped after a while because I think someone's car started taking damage. So to speed up this guy I decided to give him a little "kiss" I took my foot off the break pedal and accelerated (just a lil' bit) and let our bumpers momentarily kiss each other. I thought it would be just a gentle tap but I was surprised to find the impact nearly knocked me out of my seat. He stopped. I stopped. He got out looked at his car then walked over to my side of the car. I rolled down my window.

Old Dude: What the heck were you doing?!
Me: What the heck were YOU doing?
Old Guy: I was driving to Wal-Mart. At a reasonable speed.
Me: You were moving like a snail in molasses.
Old Guy: *just stares at me like I'm impossibly rude or insane*
Me: Don't worry that will probably buff right out. C-ya. *backs up, then quickly drives around him*

He just had a few scratches and tiny dents on his plastic, metal, or composite whatever bumper. I have a black rubber one so you can't really see the damage on my car. So that's it, my first "kiss" was with an old due in a champagne colored Buick. Sorry if you thought this would be a romantic post. Chances are you aren't going to see too much of those. I have a magnetic effect on the women I like. If both magnets have like poles facing. I hope that man doesn't know where I live. I WILL try to be more careful in the future. I'll even stop the wide turns. I've had my fun.


OLD COMMENTS
Omigaw what a bitch, the one that said, shut the fuck up and sign my pass cuz i gots to go. I would have just left it blank! hahaha

Anyhow i am not loving the university time, but i have one more exam left which means 5 out of my 6 courses are DONE. Nate, do NOT take 6 courses in the first term of university. It is... rather unpleasant.
Rochelle | 12.16.04 - 6:33 pm | #

talk about a misleading headline! dr. pepper = yummy goodness (this coming from a girl who has sworn off pop for 3 years)
jessica | 12.19.04 - 6:54 pm | #

How could you swear off pop? Hell, why would you?
lsob | 12.20.04 - 7:44 pm | #

A Series Of Events, Some Unfortunate, Some Fortunate.

Today was third installment of Final week hell. You know you have to much school work when classes begin to overlap. What do I mean by overlap? I mean you take advantage of lulls in conversation and note taking during Honors Government to work on French 4 or AP Chemistry assignments. Some students don't seem quite as preoccupied with school work as I do though. Someone discovered Halo (the demo) was downloaded to our school server (one of them) and spent most of class ignoring the teacher and fragging each other. Mr. Crockett was not to pleased with this. He responded by opening the fusebox at the front of the room and turning off the breakers. For thirty minutes we went one-room-schoolhouse-style. No artificial lights, no hum of computer fans. Just discussion and the dry erase board. I found it somewhat liberating and soothing.

In Chemistry we reviewed for the final which I have just learned will be comprehensive as opposed to covering just chapters 9 & 10. I could have sworn I heard him say yesterday that it would only be over the last two chapters. Guess that means even more study time for me. Hooray.

The band performed today, it went well except at the end when I broke a guitar string. Athen a (pretty TNA freshman) broke one first and I laughed at her. Then mine broke I guess like me, that thin little e string was under a lot of pressure. Either that or it was karma.

In 8th hour I we did our gift exchange. It was anonymous, and good thing to. The gift I gave was a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and some canned cheese. Basically everything that was on the discount shelf at Walgreens when I went there for lunch. Hey, she said not to spend over $5, so I spent exactly $5. When I got to French I put a post-it note on both items with the guy's name on it. Most other cadeaus were catered to the person's interests and hobbies etc. I got two free movie passes and Twizlers. Someone apparently knows I like movies, unfortunately I've been holding off on actually going to see one because it's so much cheaper to rent them 6 months later. Mme Walsh teased me for my choice of wrapping paper (the post its) I guess she knew it was me because I always take a 2 liter bottle of Dew to class with me. I took and probably failed a pronoun quiz today. We also received info about what our French final would cover. I think if I study the conjugation of IR verbs I'll be okay for the test.

Jacqueline: "Canned cheese and Mountain Dew, what the HELL were you thinking. Those aren't Christmas presents."

YAWN

I'm bored. Chances are with finals on the way I won't have nearly as much time to post. However I do have a little time at the moment, which is surprising given all the books I had to shelve. Kristy really pisses my off sometimes. It seems like she's hardly ever here, and when she is, she typically doesn't help put books away unless I've been assigned to deliver something and I'm not around. Also, it would be nice to update the school's webpage once in a while.

I turned in my Mythology product today, wings attached to a hat and some vans shoes for the messenger of the greek gods, Hermes. They were not real bird wings though I saw rocky eating a robin today and I could have used those. They were made from cardboard, foil, construction paper, glitter and glue. I liked the cardboard swords and helmets someone made for Odysseus. Favorite would have to be the Kleenex box representing pandora's box. "Brilliant".

These are pretty entertaining. Okay VERY entertaining. I can really relate to the first; I don't have a lot of bad habits but sometimes I get carried away with the gadgets. It was pretty bad a few years ago, I would salivate like a pavlovian dog every time a Sharper Image came in the mail...Bought a lot of stuff that was pretty much junk and fell apart a month later. Like the pen/radio, personal-airconditioner-collar, or the coin sorting bank. Just to name a few. The space pen has survived pretty well though, but then it's not made by the same shitty company. It was just featured in the catalog.

Good One

This One's Really Funny

OLD COMMENTS

Okay that's done, now onto French. We're supposed to write a letter to Santa Claus en francais. I pretty much already have the stuff picked out in a previous pots. I just have to make it seem more like a letter and do my best to translate. I'll post the letter, maybe, later.
lsob | 12.14.04 - 10:13 pm | #

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you do realize that it's harder to write it in english and then translate the letter into french than if you were to write it out in french originally.
jessica | 12.15.04 - 6:03 pm | #

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I DO NOW! Just got back from school, that letter was a fucking catastrophe. Suff was out of place, backwards etc. From now on I'll just try to slow down an think it out in French, most importantly, sticking pronouns where they need to go.
lsob | 12.15.04 - 6:12 pm | #

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haha sorry, that sucks. i'll try to respond faster next time. french bites :S
jessica | 12.16.04 - 3:07 pm | #

A Hastily Conclusion.

I should have known this week was going to be busy. Monday the 13th. The most unlucky day of all.

Well it’s that magical time of the year again, finals week. *gag* . I got a ‘B’ on my paper in Honors Government regarding taxes under Bush. J Seeing as how I constantly visit this blog, I wondered if maybe by posting a sample of my poor excuse for notes here I would memorize them easier for the tests. Here goes nothin’. My only regret is that I cannot include any drawings or diagrams from my notes. Perhaps I should add a scanner to my Christmas list (yeah right).

· Valence Electrons: The outermost and most reactive electrons of an atom
· Ionization Energy: The energy required to remove an electron from an atom or ion in the gas phase.
· Atomic Radius: The approximate distance between atoms in a molecule
· Electron Affinity: The energy change occurring when an anion of the element in the gas phase loses an electron
· Effective nuclear Charge: The nucleic charge experienced by an electron in a multi electron atom, as it is modified.
By graphing the properties of elements I was able to determine that as you move from left to right across the periodic table of elements, effective nuclear charge and the number of protons increases. Atomic radii decrease as you move across periods, and electron shielding remains constant. For example, an atom of fluorine is smaller than an atom of Boron because while shielding (the number of core electrons) is constant, ENC has increased. Ionization energy also increases across periods because as ENC becomes greater more energy is required o remove valence electrons. In groups, or families, the trends above are reversed, shielding, increases because electrons are being added, however this time to higher energy levels. Effective nuclear charge is constant for families because subtracting the number of core electrons from the number of protons in an tom will always produce the number given at the top of the group that particular atom’s element belongs to, electrons and protons increases to allow this. Atomic radii increase from the top of a family to the bottom because shielding is increasing and ENC remains constant. Ionization energy decreases because as you move down a given family the distance (atomic radii) is increasing, the farther valence electrons of an atom are from the nucleus; the less energy is needed to remove them from orbital.

The Title Of The Post.

Mood: Deranged
Listening to: R.E.M's Greatest Hits
Drinking: Cream soda

The body of the post.

Didn't do much today, slept till 3:00pm. Woke up, ate some macaroni, watched CNN. Cleaned my room (that sucked up most my time), practiced guitar, currently doing home work and watching Tripping The Rift. Peace.

The end of the post.

"I'm not even going to flush. LET HIM SEE THE WRATH OF THE MONARCH!" - Venture Bros.

And Then

Dad: I don't know why you hate sports, it's not like I pushed you into them as a kid.
Me: I don't hate sports. I just think most of the time there is better stuff on TV.
Dad: Sometimes I can't believe you're my son

Speaking of better things on TV, Enterprise will not air on UPN December 24th. KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! *echoes*

I'm really in no mood to blog. I'm tiered. However, I know if I don't do it now I never will. So here's the deal. I just got back from Boss Hog's Barbeue, well technically the sports bar next door. Good food, I'm stuffed. Even brought home leftovers in a box. Someone from work just called asking if I could fill in for them tomorrow. Impossible. I have way too much homework. I hope this doesn't lead to the loss of my position as the store's "go-to-guy" for "sick" days. I need the hours that bad. One of our managers was complaining about all the kids who called in today to cancel shifts just so they could go to their school's formal events. Personally I'm glad, otherwise I wouldn't have scored those hours 8:30-4. There was Papa John's pizza in the break room today. I have never seen so many pizza boxes in all life. There were literally stacks on each table threatening to topple over. Before I even entered the break room, I could smell it from my register and that inspired me to work more. I ate 9 slices (when else was I going to have the opportunity to pig out so much for free?) and a 20oz Dr. Pepper. When I got back to my register I felt a little bit sick. But took comfort in knowing I only had an hour an a half to go and it was worth it! Pizza taste even better when you're hungry as hell!

Old Guy: *takes out an add* It says I get 20% off and a free $10 gift card when I spend over $70.00 on video games or get 3 accessories.
Me: You have a Gamecube, and a pack of gum.
Old Guy: Then why is the price so high?
Me: Because the computer didn't include the discount or free gift card.
Old Guy: Well why not?
Me: Because you need to spend over $70 in video games or buy THREE accessories.
Old Guy: This was $99 *points to the gamecube*
Me: Yeah.
Old Guy: Well isn't this a game?
Me: It's just the console......there's no actual game with it. It's just the hardware you need to play the games. And accessories would be like memory cards, controllers or cases.
Old Guy: Well what if I get this, and a PS2, AND an XBox.
Me: >.< Three ACCESSORIES or more than $70 in GAMES.
Old Guy: Do you have a senior citizens discount?
Me: I don't think so, I guess I could check with my manager...
Old Guy: I think that would be something you should check.
Me: *pages her and then 5 minutes later.....*
Me: Caitlin, do we have a senior citizen discount?
Caitlin: *looks at the man* No, I'm sorry. *back to me* You paged me for that?!

Me: You can only use 3 BB bucks on a CD or DVD purchase.
Fat Woman: WHAT?!
Me: You can only use 3 Best Buy bucks per CD or DVD.
Fat Woman: I saved for weeks so I could buy this for free. You've got to be kidding me.
Me: Sorry....*points to the sign that states it*
Fat Woman: Well it doesn't say that on the sticker *skims through it* blah blah blah. Nope doesn't say it.
Me: *takes the monopoly board the sticker is stuck to and points out the print that does say it*
Fat Woman: Well that REALLY pisses me off, now I can't afford this *puts back the 24 DVD boxset* All I can get is Sex and the City season 1 & 2.
24 sucks anyway
Me: You'll still save three dollars; and you have 50 coupons. That means you can have anything in the store up to $50 that ISN'T a DVD or CD for free.
Fat Woman: *sarcastically* Yeah, like that leaves a whole lot.
Me: I'm guessing 70% of our inventory. Maybe more. I'm not sure.
Fat Woman: *grumbles something and buys the Sex and The City DVD then storms out throwing the rest of the coupons on the security counter*
Other Customer: What was her problem?
Me: She didn't read the fine print on those 30-something boxes of super sized fries and chicken selects. Then came in on the last day we're excepting those coupons and got a nasty surprise. Her problem, besides the attitude, is a lack of common sense.

That and was the average customer behavior today, mixed in with that, some fun language challenges. I know it sounds racist but I don't care. So I'm a fucking bigot, big deal, eat me. I just think Mexicans should learn English before immigrating, oops I mean swimming, over here. All two of words Rosa (that was probably her name) knew in English she slurred, it sounded like she was slurping the last few drops of Mr. Pibb from a glass at Grizzlebees (Apllebees). On the other hand someone will probably say that about me when I go to France but hey, at least I don't live there.

So yeah, I hope Gillian is haven' fun at her box social shindig or whatever. Cues I worked all day with moronic. I might swing by the school a little late, no date but if it's like most of our school's season festivities they'll have a big reel of tickets left over. It's a chilly night, I bound to see some nipples Pocono' through sheer fabric.

Did some Christmas shopping today, I got this brats doll for Ella, a Flash Light (well he said he needed one) and an Earth Wind & Fire CD for Dad, the Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore DVD set for Derrick, and for mom I picked up a gift certificate from her favorite store. It's a store located in the Brook Woods center near the sports bar Dad I ate at. According to her it's "like Bed bath and beyond, but classier" In other words a chick-store that sells stuff like sented candles, silver liquid soap dispensers, linen and silk bed sheets, and bath beads. The woman there told me she knew my mom and said she was really beautiful. I was just like um, thanks. I hate it when people say that, mostly because half are guys my age, and mostly because they don't word it the same way. I remember once Ana's (the object of my affection for this month) Dad said that my Dad was "a very handsome man" I thought that was kinda gay. At least I know if I ever ask her out he'll approve of it. Then again, he was the one who prescribed the pills I used to take. Maybe he won't trust me cuz he'll think I'm psycho. I think I'm pyscho. My dog is psycho, today he was licking the windows as we went through the auto car wash, even though the water was on the outside of the car. I didn't get anything for Liz or Marty yet. I don't know where'd I'd start. Maybe a camera accessorie or that cool picture frame for Marty. For Liz? I dunno, cowgirl hat? I purchased the Jimmi Hendrix Expirience and R.E.M.'s greatest hits today. Turns out you can save more with the McDonald's cupons than with an employee discount. Heh heh heh ;)


OLD COMMENTS
working at best buy sounds worse than when i worked at indigo. and man, that was hell.
jessica | 12.12.04 - 1:38 am | #

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Well I would imagine so, people who read books are smart. Indigo is a bookstore right?
lsob | 12.15.04 - 6:15 pm | #

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yeah it is a bookstore, but the people who read books are also pretentious and they don't necessarily buy them.
jessica | 12.18.04 - 8:12 pm | #

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as for "smart", let's not go there... lol that's why i quit. reading books does not make a person smart.
jessica | 12.18.04 - 8:13 pm | #

What's That You Say?

Today was boring. As usual. However I always find ways to entertain myself. Especially during that last period of the day.

Friendofthegirlwholookslikedariaandwritesnotesonherhand: "So, just what do you do here?"
Me: "I am first year co-chief library proctor assigned to the designation, organization, sanitization and prioritization of all hard copy materials both recorded audio/video and bound printed word. My primary objective is to assure the proper storage of these informative materials via a shelving technique known as the Dewey Decimal System for easy and efficient student/faculty access."
Friendofthegirlwholookslikedariaandwritesnotesonherhand: "So basically you make up important sounding words for spinning around in an office chair for an hour and a half"
Me: "Shut up."

So yep that's what this girl said to me. If you think I'm weird, wow. She's a strange one. Spent like half an hour talking about something called neo pets which from what I can tell is basically pokemon for PC. It sounds uberretarded. Though she showed me some cool cart in the high school books of yore.

Me: "Greetings, O'Neal. I am first year co-chief library proctor assigned to the designation, organization, sanitization and prioritization of all hard copy materials both recorded audio/video and bound printed word. My primary objective is to assure the proper storage of these informative materials via a shelving technique known as the Dewey Decimal System for easy and efficient student/faculty access. How may I be of service."
Girl: *makes a face then starts laughing and looks over at another girl at computer terminal #3* "Keisha, KEISHA. Did you hear what he just siad?"
-----"I don't know he said 'greetings', and then somethin' weird."
Me: "I s-"
Girl: "Look, just shut the fuck up an sign my pass, cuz I gots to GO."


Why do they always cancel the TV shows I like. TV Funhouse (FUNNY), Firefly, Venture Bros, Unhappily Ever After, Undeclared, Jake 2.0, Andy Richter Controls the Universe (hurts to THIS day.), The Tick, The Invisible Man, Oddess 5 (NOOO!), Titus, Dark Angel (had to see Honey to get my Jess fix. She's the hottest chick on my top 10 list, but that movie was god awful), Sports Night, John Doe. Maybe if I go to heaven I'll get to enjoy these shows. And all the movies Chris Farely would have starred in....that were written by the Farrlley brothers.

Breandon: "I can't wait to go home and play HALO! You have an X-box yet?"
Me: No. "If I get one for Christmas, that's coo but I'm gonna buy a console just for ONE game."
Breandon: "Aside from all the RPGs Xbox has all the ones PS2 and G-cube do. Xbox is the best."
Me: "Xbox is shit. It doesn't have GTA:San Andreas"
Breandon: "Fuck GTA. PS2 is gay."

One thing I did agree to spend on though. The band trip to C.O., it's $300.00, but Dad said he'd pay for half so I guess I can live with $150.

OLD COMMENTS

keep up the good work having fun.

it gets better in college, then if you are lucky it gets better after that.

if you are unlucky, you should just kill yourself
cube | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 - 6:57 pm | #

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as far as halo scan comments not being permant.

You can turn on comments for blogspot. those are permant, but you will lose all you halo scan comments.

if you have any questions email me.
cube | Email | Homepage | 12.11.04 - 7:06 pm | #

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So you mean after college I can't just hit the reset button if I don't like the result?

Nah, I don't like blogger comments they are glitchy and not intuitive.
lsob | Email | 12.11.04 - 11:01 pm | #

Sleepless In Second Hour

"Don Juan, Hot Shots: Part Deux, The Trumpeter of the Swans, The Astronaut's Wife, and Nine Months. No wonder these movies are 5.99." - Jake
http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.bold.gif
insert bold tags
Last night I had this terribly long lab report to do in AP Chem regarding periodic trends for valence electrons, atomic radii, electron affinity and effective nuclear charge. It was our pages long, not including the graph and since I hadn't had the opportunity to read the chapter I was behind and lost while doing most of it. I had to back track a lot to find stuff out. At the end of my library proctor time I managed to get a small start on it but in addition to chemistry I also had to do a short French 4 assignment (My worst class, I don't know how to say that), J'ai une petit devoir francais quatre aussi? This work load was only slighter greater than most days, so normally it would have not been a problem. Except today I had to work from 5:00pm - 11:00 pm. Which meant that I would be spending my usual 7-10:30 homework time instead, to scan coupons and computer packages. The monotony of the situation was not lessened by the knowledge that when I got home I would have to read nearly an entire chapter on the quantum mechanical model of the atom and look up every other word in a English/French dictionary when I try to write a simple sentence.

A Christmas CD over the PA for what seemed to be an infinite number of cycles, then finally we caught a break when whoever was running the music put in the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack (if you'd call that a break). One thing I have learned is that the vast majority of people have identical personalities. They are only capable of spitting out phrases almost like an answering machine or one of those toys with the pull string.
"Wow that's a big receipt."
"How many tree did you kill with that?" *moronic giggling*
Shut the fuck up you retards.
It sucks because EVERY SINGLE one of those cockroaches says it. Before I worked at best buy, I shopped there and I never once paid attention to how long the receipt was. If you're going to force conversation on the busy cashier at least be creative. The receipt has more on it than just those piece of shit Leap-frog learning games and that Lindsay Lohan (you uberfags)CD you bought. It has the time you bought it, how you paid for it and also states our return policy so when you come back into the store with the unwrapped Lindsay Lohan, after burning several copies for all your wanker friends, and try to return it for cash back; we'll know to throw your fat ass out. One last rant. The next person who says "Thank you much" instead of "Thank you very much" or hell why not just "Thanks" I'm going to rip open your chest and shit in your lungs. Sorry, I'm just pissed because some jerk left a porno on TV in the break room and now we have parental controls on the big screen. Meaning I couldn't see The Matrix: Revolutions because it's 'R' rated. I understand why they fired the guy but must we all suffer just so the high school girls working here won't run home crying if they catch a glimpse of a pigtailed chick 'bout their age getting her anus reamed by someone who likes an x-con?

So anyway, all bad things come to an end. My shift ended and I went home and started home work. I was determined to finish and turn in completed assignments so I stayed up all night to do them, then check over my work and assure it's perfection. Not one wink I slept. Until around 7:00 am; I had just finished my homework and I figured I catch maybe 30 minutes worth of Zs before leaving for T-High. Well Mom wasn't going to have any of this. She thought that I would sleep through first hour and after she banged on the door, flicked the lights on and off, threw cold water on me and screamed. She finally just dragged me out of bed around 7:30, the time I would have gotten up anyway after a really quip nap. She insisted she drive me to school because she thought I would fall asleep on the wheel. Way to tired to argue, I agreed. Which later turned out to be a huge mistake. I keep most of my books and materials in my car. So when it came time to hand in that Lab report I didn't have it. I'll have to turn it in late for 10% off. On the bright side we got out quantum number worksheet back and I did so well I earned 14/10 in extra credit points. Back to the dark side, because I could not go out to lunch I had to eat in the cafeteria. The lunchlady food gurgled in my stomach then gave me the runs. I was late to French 4 on account of the shits. Then to make things even more fun Mme Walsh decided not collect the assignment I stayed up to work on because she was busy grading something else. All for nothing. I kept falling asleep during classes. All day long I would start out taking notes in class then wake up in a pool of my own drool as the bell rang. Luckily I had Jacqueline to tell me what happened when I was out, thanks you little-Daria-ish-girl-you!

Gillian called me and asked me to take her work shift on Saturday from 8AM - 5PM so that she can decorate for our school's Winter Quasi-Formal Whatchamacallit. I agreed reluctantly but as always, I guess I need the money. To end this on a fun note there were some advantages to staying up all night. A) It was peaceful B) I had time to eat breakfast C) I got saw the sun rise D) I got to see Liz in clingy PJs.

Joshua: Hey Nate, guess what?!
Me: Chicken butt?
Joshua: No-what? Ha ha. I got a date to semi-formal, and she's really hot.
Me: Who's the lucky lady?
Joshua: Her name is Kristy.
Me: I think I know her. Does she have brown hair, kinda skinny?
Joshua: Yeah, she's freakin hot!
Me: *nods* She helps out in Library with me last hour. I always gave her the books on the bottom shelf so I could check out her ass when she bends over. I was going to ask her but I didn't.
Joshua: The early bird gets the worm.
Me: Guess so! Not bad for a guy who reminds me of a leprechaun. You're my hero.

Old Comment(s)

i hope kristy wasn't the girl you were talking about before? cause that would suck... like the runs. *cringe* i'm planning on doing the same tonight, if it makes you feel any better when you wake up from your lovely extended sleep. have a good dream or two for once
jessica | 12.10.04 - 12:13 am | #

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No it wasn't, Kristy is cute but she has a really boring personality. It'd be like dating a bonsai tree or a potted cactus. I had a dream, but I don't remember it .

So, what are you studying? Hope it's interesting!
lsob | 12.11.04 - 1:58 am | #

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studying? ummmmmm.... well i'm taking world issues, religion, food & nutrition & international law. although the 1st and 4th classes sound interesting, they are not.
jessica | 12.11.04 - 5:02 pm | #

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Really? The second is the only one I'd be interested in, International Law sounds like NyQuil.
lsob | 12.13.04 - 12:44 am | #

Day Gone By

We had a sub in Computer Mastery today. It was that old guy who stares at you for a long time and said he was a Republican, and voted for Bush because when he was growing up everyone was a Republican. Oookay, so if your all friends wanted to do the political equivalent of jumping off a bridge, would you? Apparently. Jesus man, think for your self. And if you still come up as Bush supporter, well, find someone smarter to think for you.

I want to be rich and fuck lots of women and spend my money on insane mostly useless inventions and perilous adventures when I grow up.....if ever. Is there a job for that? Our school counselor doesn't think so. Man being school counselor is like the easiest job in the world. All you have to do is sit in an office, print out class schedules, report cards and then send ACT info to colleges that students write down. Half the time I come into the counseling Center they are just lounging on the couch watching Passions or Oprah on TV. And petting the dog. Yes our school has a therapy pup. Labrador, really cute. Oh yeah and they like to eat cheerleader candy.

They just finished adding onto the space museum in Hutchison, Kansas, I remember that place. We went on a field trip there in fourth grade. It was pretty cool. In fact it was the only thing cool about that town. Hutch is basically a black hole in the state, people there actually die of boredom. Look in the obituaries.

Jake: Hey, do you know this one guy....Damn I can't remember his name.
Me: What's he look like?
Jake: He has crazy hair.
Me: Ah, Aj.
Jake: No, but he always hangs out with that guy! He doesn't have foot long dreadlocks sticking out everywhere it's just really messy. He also has bad acne.
Me: Is he white or black?
Jake: White. We call him Radio cuz he always has a radio by his ear *laughs*
Me: Jason?
Jake: Yeah that's him! I told him I worked here and he said he knew you from High. *laughs* he also said that you tried to smash his hand with a sledge hammer, and make a car from..... croutons?
Me: Long story. And it was just a regular hammer...and I wasn't serious.

Making MY List and Checking It Twice

In The Library At Lunch...
The Activist Girl: Hi!
Me: ! cha doin'?
The Activist Girl: English Lit. Comp.
Me: Sounds like fun :-)
The Activist Girl: It's a blast. What are you doing?
Me: French 4. You're in French 3 right?
The Activist Girl: Yeah, but I don't know if I'll do 4 though. Is it hard?
Me: *thinks about it, but eyes trail after a hot girl who walks past* Yeah, kinda.
. . . . .
The Activist Girl: *laughs*
Me: *Chuckles* I mean, at times it can be difficult.
The Activist Girl: Right on.

At this point I'm not sure whether or not I've made it onto Santa's nice list, but just in case here are some of my picks for Christmas presents. I suppose if I do end up on the naughty list I can go to the North pole, burn his house down and hump Ms. Claus' ass. That should put me ahead of the game for next year.
Note: Author does not still believe in Santa Claus.

• Doom 3
  Check out the screen shots, play the demo!
  
• Half-Life2
  Looks frawesome.
  
• Ray
  The movie may not be out yet, but the sound track is available.
  
• Modest Mouse
  This might be a bad choice, sometimes Isaac Brock makes me want to kill myself. We'll see.
  
• THU2
  This is the last one I'll get, I swear. They just keep making sequels!
  

This
might come in handy in the summer

Speaking of presents, it's my older (duh look at the title) brother Derrick's birthday, He'll is 22 years old at 7:00. Guess I need to send him something too. Happy birthday bro! Don't drink too much 'kay?

Today's Hollanderisms:
"Excuses are like farts, every one does them and they all stink!"
"A conductor is like a mechanic, they can listen to what's wrong with a car, in this case the music, know what's wrong with it and I can't do that if there's some guy with a jackhammer (the drummers) nearby.

I had a strange dream this morning, I dreamt that I was pulled over by a highway patrolman and taken home. When I got there, Dad yelled at mean for not cleaning out the cat's litter box. There is no cat at my Dad's house. Hmm, strange.

I'd also like to add some Christmas music but I can't find a good place to host my files. Hopefully I can get it up *snicker* before the holiday season is over. To be honsest I think I like Huanukuh music better. Oh yeah, I just realized my Haloscan comments aren't permanent so I'll have to copy and paste them into my actual blog to preserve them. The popups are always a problem too.

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it" - Henry Ford

Old Comments
i hope you don't honestly want that canadian package. if anybody told me they would meet me in hogtown, i'd look at them like O_O not realizing that that is where i live. weird stuff
jessica | 12.07.04 - 9:56 pm | #

True, but do you think Europeans know better?
lsob | 12.08.04 - 4:46 pm | #

i think they know more about canadians than americans do.
jessica | 12.08.04 - 7:42 pm | #

Aww, I hope not. That would be sad.
lsob | 12.09.04 - 12:33 am | #

t'would
jessica | 12.09.04 - 12:36 am | #

since we're both awake... did i ever ask you if you had msn?
jessica | 12.09.04 - 12:38 am | #

I have aim
lsob | 12.09.04 - 2:13 am | #

Nevermind. No I don't I got rid of it. So now maybe I'll get msn.
lsob | 12.09.04 - 2:14 am | #

Daily Memory Transfer #347

morale de l'histoire du jour: I may be a chauvinist dick, but you're still a crusty, crabby, cunt.

As always I went to school. Computer Mastery was treat, as always, all ten minutes of it.
Mrs. Hageyman: Can anyone tell me the difference between live theater and TV?
Me: Der You can't Tivo it?
Mrs. Hageyman: Tivo? What does that mean?
Me: o_O

Instead of the usual, tedious draw a stick figure in Photoshop crap we went to the auditorium to see the Washington Shakespeare Fest, which came to our school to perform. It was very good. I liked the first Mark Twain thing and the last clip (can you call live performance clips?) from Shakespeare's Taming of The Shrew. It's a situation all guys an relate to, who hasn't been stuck with some bitchy, rabid, shrew-like-femme who was always trying to one up them because she thought it was cute?

In Mythology we watched Spirited Away. Woah, I think the animator of this was on acid (how else do you explain three lime green disembodied heads rolling on the floor going "UNGH!"). It's really, REALLY, bizarre. Despite the overwhelming atmosphere of WTF, it's a really good story and I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

In Foods 2 we started planning for our next meal. It's been decided that I can no longer make drinks since last time I put sugar in the iced tea. I called Jessica (the grumpy frumpy one) a cow-cunt for this, she was none to happy about that. Okay so maybe I should've asked first if everyone wanted sugar in it, but it was in the directions on the tube and everything taste better with a cup or two of sugar. I used to eat bowls of it as a kid. Plus the next drink is lemonade, are you gonna tell me you want that sugar free too? Pucker up bitch. On occasion, I still do (no wonder my pancreas ker-ploded) On the bright side Erin taught me a funny song and a teacher stopped and said I had really nice teeth. I guess it's not as noticeable that I've lost my retainers after all.

Last hour I was shelving books when this girl comes up to me, dazed look in her eyes and says: Hey how come I've never noticed you before, you read a lot, so you think you can recommend a good book for me, what's your name, how old are you blah blah blah. She was obviously hitting on me. I didn't think to much of it at the time. I couldn't stop focusing on the way she talked. At first I thought she was a foreign exchange student. Then I asked her where she was from and she said she was born and raised her. So then I assumed she was either deaf or had a severe speech impediment. Probably the latter seeing as how she could understand me (unless she read lips which would explain why she was always staring at mine, I HOPE!). The entire time we talked I was exceedingly polite and courteous, never letting on how much I despised her. Finally she left and went back to work. I thought I was rid of her until the end of class when I felt a pat on my butt as she walked through the metal detectors. It was her! She said bye in her extremely low, slurred voice then left. In the future, when I'm older, there may come a day when I'm forced to bang fat chicks. However for now, chubber free is the way to be. I suppose if I was really desperate to get off, I'd stick my dick between her over-inflated jumblies.

The highlight of the day by far was hacking loogies off the third floor with that ROTC-Wigger. Too bad we were to far from the promenade to reach pedestrians.

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams


Senior Comments
now that was something i don't want to picture o_O
jessica | 12.07.04 - 1:24 pm | #

Truly sorry. I think I'll start putting warning labels on post that might include offensive info. It is a persoanl log though, so I won't censor anything. Just beware all this stuff comes from my demented mind.
lsob | 12.07.04 - 4:32 pm | #

well just the jublies comment. hits home ya know
jessica | 12.07.04 - 9:57 pm | #

or jumblies or w/e the hell! damn breasts :/
jessica | 12.07.04 - 9:57 pm | #

"hits home ya know" As soon as you said this, I had to go check for pics, of course. I can see why you would say that. At least your body is proportional. The girl I was referring to was a beach ball from head to toe (She came back today!). Lets just forget about that one offhand comment btw. Now that I think about it, I'd prefer not to lose my virginity to a couple of chesticles. Your face is pretty, I doubt anyone really cares about the twins.
lsob | 12.08.04 - 4:57 pm | #

umm... thanks? lol
jessica | 12.08.04 - 7:43 pm | #

Violent Reveries

I can usually only recall the ones that happen in early morning hours right before I awake. Today I awoke from a dream where I had invited some guy pretending to be retarded into the house for some reason I can't remember. I just know he was going door to door doing, once again, something I don't know. Anyway, I think he tried to steal something so I attacked him. We fought. We fought some more. Ended up going into the bathroom, I shoved him into the bath tub hitting his back on the edge then took the porcelain top off of the toilet's tank and beat him to death. I woke up around the time Mom walked into the bathroom and asked me why I was trying to dissolve a body in the tub with lye and was soaked in blood. In the real world, at that exact moment Mom was knocking on my door telling me that if I didn't wake up she would throw out whatever leftover breakfast their was. Real life and dreams often coincide like that. This was an unusual case, the more common one is dreaming that you have already woken up, showered, brushed your teeth etc. Then discovering you were asleep the entire time. This unusual dream may have been related to the events of the previous week where I tried selling stuff door to door for our band trip. Though I never pretended to be.....Mentally challenged.

For my mythology project I'm thinking it would be really cool to create a model of Daedalus' wings with wax and feathers. Whether or not I ever give such a creation a test flight will depend on how suicidal I'm feeling. The school bell tower would be a fun launching point, it would offer a great view of downtown before you're street puddle.

There wasn't much good on TV today. I watched Alfie (the 60s version) with TiVo. Ya know, for such a dated movie it wasn't all that bad. I liked the main character, thought he was funny. I'm looking forward to the new Alfie but it would be tough to beat the original. The whole family watched The Grinch, all I can say is that without Jim Carey it would have sucked. It had some really funny parts, definitely nothing like the animated one. I think the director/producer obviously wasn't aiming to create a duplicate of the classic book. Whether or not this is a good thing I'll let you decide. I've finished my homework in AP Chemistry (Quantum Mechanics stuff) and that just leaves French and this passe(how do you make these accented?) simple worksheet. At least I hope it's simple. I was supposed to meet my teacher and a group of students to discuss our trip to Europe this summer but couldn't make it. Oh well, I like surprises. Channel surfing between The 7 People You Meet In Heaven and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I've yet to decide which is worse. Think I'll probably just turn off the TV and get back to work...until Adult Swim that is.

Hey guess what? The city is 150 years old now. I wonder how it all started out, probably something like this...
December 5, 1854 - There were men in a log cabin by the Kansas River playing poker
Man #1: I'll raise you thirty buffalo tongues. *points to a pile in the corner*
Man #2: Oh for heavens sake, they're called bison. BISON.
Man #3: I'll drop, I'm folding.
Man #4: Pussy. I'm staying.
Man #1: *has a royal flush*
Man #2: *shows cards* I've got a pair of Jacks!
Man #4: Four of a kind
Man #3: Hey, lets start a town!
Everyone: What?
Man #1: Stop trying to change the subject cuz you chickened out.
Man #3: No come one it will be fun.
Man #4: You can't just start a city, not here. Most people would just keep going on through to Oregon or California. You don't even know what you'd call it.
Man #3: I'd call it Topeka.
Man #4: Huh? What?
Man #3: It's the Native American word for a good place to grow potatoes!
[lull]
Man #1: Lame.
Man #2: Goddamn it Rodney we just finished building this cabin for the winter and now you wanna make a city. Nothin' is ever good enough for you is it? IS IT?!
[silence]
Man #2: And it's 1854, we call them Indians not Native Americans. Dumbass.

"There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens."
- Scott Adams, from Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

qwerty

Didn't do much today, put up Christmas decorations on the house and set up the tree. Eventually I'd like to get a real one, I don't care if they're fire hazards. We went with an all white light theme this year.

I had the unfortunate job of babysitting Elle sine Liz was gone today, helping her Mom move into their new apartment. Elle immediately went to work plucking keys out of the laptop, and burning popcorn in the microwave. There was billowing cloud of dark smoke coming from the kitchen which I didn't realize until rocky started barking. She also went through a phase where she just picked up stuff and threw it, and of course no day would be complete without her urinating on the floor. Again. I'm guessing the reason Liz didn't take her to the new place is because moving would have taken twice as long.

Other than that I spent most of the day just reading or sleeping.

Hey

This Chilli, ain't half bad. Thanks mom.

The school had it's annual food fair in the main foyer today. You know, the thing where students set up booths and sell food that is slightly less bad than that in the cafeteria. It's that time of year when you spend a few bucks because you think you're getting a deal then realize you were better off just leaving campus for lunch. The grows, are deceiving.

What better way to start off a new culture in Mythology than a quiz? I think I did well on it except for the part about the dragons. Apparently the Chinese ones are different than the ones from previous lessons. I just said that they're all named Trogdor and they like burnination. If you collect all 7 dragon balls you can wish them away.

I just had a great idea, instead of having bronze or marble statues in the park they should have giant chia pets!

You Smell Like Smoke

Today was a pretty good day. Didn't start out that way though, I made a point to get to Computer Mastery on time but because of some assholes on the highway I was forced to get off on the wrong exit (They were in much nicer cars than mine, I should have just rammed them into a ditch and kept going). I ended up in one of those shit hole towns nearby. You know, the ones that consist of a barn, a grain elevator, one paved road and a field with some horses. It was one of many nearby hick towns that supplies Best Buy with a seemingly endless stream of annoying customers who drove all the way to the big city to by the latest Tim McGraw or Terry Clark Album and an ink cartridge. Anyway, I managed to get to class only 20 minutes late despite my unplanned detour to Auburn.

Foods 2 went well, our group cooked Chicken Tetrazini, and a chocolate brownie for desert. The post-meal treat for me though was that I didn't have to cleanup afterwards. I left early to go to an orthodontist appointment.

I took a test on Celtic mythology then spent the last hour of school reading magazines in library. One magazine, this pet mag, had an entire article featuring why cats urinate on fence posts and how cats are superior to dogs because they are uninteresting, self-serving and completely ignore you. Fascinating stuff, really. This is the kind of stuff you read when someone else has gotten their hands on the latest Wired or Popular Science.

At 8:00 I went to a local bar Booby Tr ap, to hear a friend's band play as well as another group from Tulsa, Oklahoma. When I arrived I received a warm welcome to say the least, despite several request I don't think anyone expected me to come. I paid the woman at the door and she stamped both my hands so I could leave and come back. Good thing too, the place was crowed and many of the occupants were smokers which meant you had to step outside a few times. There were some regulars in the back playing pool but most of the people on the floor for the show were former CSers all were current or former students of our high school. AJ was there handing out free CDs. I thought both bands were good but, though I hate to admit it, I think the OK guys were better. Overall a really good show, had fun. My only complaint was the smoke which irritated my throat to the point where I was coughing all night. Damn those three girls and their camels. Marissa was there, she said that the bar was really crappy. Now that I think about it I guess it was, I could probably build a better one in my basement (like on Family Guy) it's actually be larger too. There was a TV there too, unfortunately, Damn. There's just no escaping the Sci-Fi channel is there? We were forced to watch it waiting for the bands to start.
Ed: She's hot *the girl on TV*
Me: No, don't check her out, it's on Sci-Fi.
Ed: So?
Me: So she'll probably turn into something nasty.
Aj: Or get get fucked by a bunch of phallic tentacles
I exchanged numbers with several people. There is a planned band battle on Sunday. I haven't decided if I'll go yet. I need to save money. One humorous detail of the night was that Phillip's sister was there. His sister is 6, apparently he was supposed to be staying home with her while his mother was gone but since he was the bass player...Yeah. So after the gig he rushed home in a very Ferris Beuler manner to beat his Mom back. I left and got home around 11, just in time to watch two hours of TV before going to sleep.

Me: Would you like to dance?
Girl: What?
Me: Wanna dance?!
Girl: What?!
Me: Dance! Ah, forget it.
Girl: Hey, lets dance!
Me: Huh?!!

Aged Comments
several people meaning... several girls nice job
jessica | 12.04.04 - 4:51 am | #

Several is misleading. Three girls, none of which I'm going to call, soon anyway; and one guy wanting me to come see his next performance
lsob | 12.04.04 - 10:08 pm | #

too bad.
jessica | 12.05.04 - 5:12 pm | #

Nah, not for me.
lsob | 12.05.04 - 10:01 pm | #

why so?
jessica | 12.06.04 - 12:06 am | #

Well, there's only one girl I'm really interested in right now. If I can't hook up with her...being with anyone else would feel like a chore.
lsob | 12.06.04 - 4:47 pm | #

good luck with that
jessica | 12.06.04 - 7:04 pm | #

Thanks, I'll need it. Oh crap am I going to need it.
lsob | 12.07.04 - 1:21 am | #

sigh... after reading you last entry, apparently you have admirers w/ wobly jublies... enjoy :P
jessica | 12.07.04 - 1:28 pm | #

>.< It's not that particular trait that's gross. It's just that she was one big jumblie.

"You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jumblies." - Austin Powers
lsob | 12.07.04 - 4:38 pm | #

now i get the reference
jessica | 12.07.04 - 9:58 pm | #